This is not a drill, people.
Dario Cueto is bringing The Temple to Netflix.
Seasons 1 and 2 will be available on the streaming service starting March 15.
MARCH 15.
That's less than 20 days away.
Here is what I wrote about why I love Lucha Underground back in July:
Lucha Underground is an acquired taste. I understand this. But personally, I think it tastes GOOD.
I love it, and so do a lot of other people. And some people hate it. And even more people have never seen it. The network it’s on, El Rey, is From Dusk Till Dawn director Robert Rodriguez’s personal video playlist of subtitled 70s WuShu films and schlocky grindhouse horror flicks, seasoned liberally with mini-marathons of KnightRider and Miami Vice. El Rey is only available in about 38 million homes. To put that in perspective, USA (and by extension, RAW and Smackdown) is in 81 million homes. Hell, even TNA on PopTV is available in 50 million. A lot of the people who might want to watch it, can’t.
It’s also available on some streaming services, most notably Sling TV, and you can buy individual episodes on iTunes, so there’s a potentially bigger audience out there at this point, but still, only around 300,000 sets of eyes are tuned into Ultima Lucha each week.
If you haven’t seen it, allow me to briefly explain.
It’s a wrestling show. But it’s also a (mostly) English Language sci-fi telenovela. It’s literally batshit. There’s a guy who’s a literal time-traveling Aztec god with rocket boots and he’s best buds with a dude who is the literal reincarnation of a literal dragon. And that’s nothing.
Ricochet (half of the match that ruined wrestling for Vader) plays Prince Puma. He is possessed by the spirit of the God of the Jungle Cats. Literally. Sometimes he growls and it sounds AWESOME. He was the first LU Champion. He has a face vs face rivalry going on with Rey Mysterio. Yes, THAT Rey Mysterio.
There are three monster hosses on the roster. One of them, They Call Him Cage, may or may not be a cyborg of some sort, like a T-800 model that someone has programmed to occasionally do moonsaults. Another of them, Mil Muertes, is the literal embodiment of death—he was killed as a boy in a terrible earthquake in Mexico city, then brought back from the dead by a witch (? Female necromancer?) at least like 5 times. The third hoss, Matanza, is like a splatterhouse villain, wearing a sleeveless mechanic’s jumpsuit and some kind of Bane Mask. Back in season one he ate a guy. And I am not kidding.
Matanza, the cannibalistic carburetor repairman, he is the half God kid brother of the Vince McMahon of this show, Dario Cueto. Dario Cueto loves violence. That is why he has turned this warehouse in Boyle Heights, East LA, into his own personal Kumite, which he calls “The Temple”. Dario Cueto is the greatest thing on television.
Or, he sucks balls, depending on who you talk to on the internet.
If you’re one of those people, I might never convert you into loving this utterly unique beast. But if you’ve got an open mind, an open heart, and you think you might enjoy seeing crazy talented wrestlers do crazy amazing things in the ring at the behest of a crazy crazy Spanish millionaire with a Rob Zombie fever-dream for a brother, then follow me down the rabbit hole.
And now that this brilliantly bonkers wrestling show/supernatural telenovela is going to be on Netflix, and because I know you've still got your old roommate's password memorized, there's no longer any excuse not to at least give it a shot.
And when you do, hit me up on Twitter @pawlowskithe4th, and tell me what you think.
