Matt Brown been through a lot in his life, both in his personal life and his MMA career, but a loss to Jake Ellenberger at UFC 201 nearly ended all as the fighter contemplated suicide.
Brown, who will be competing at UFC 207, appeared on The MMA Hour to explain why took things so rough after the loss to Ellenberger.
"That was probably the toughest loss of my career and I'll tell you why," Brown explained. "My reasoning is that wins and losses have never been a huge thing to me, they have never been the primary focus. I just want to do the best I can, and be happy with myself on Sunday because I know I gave it my all, win or lose. That one I felt I didn't give it all I had. I think I took it way for granted, and I didn't show Jake enough respect and I learned the hard way. The hard thing about this sport is, you know, you have a hard day at the office and, you know, it can be like that where it's a really bad day. So mentally that was the first time in my career I think I had a mental flip up like that, where I just didn't respect my opponent, was overconfident, and I don't like that of myself. I have to go back and change that, and I plan on doing that. So I don't know if I'm going to win my next fight or not, but I know that I'm going to have a lot of respect for my opponent, and I'm going to come in better than I've ever been before and that's all I can ask out of myself."
Brown also compared himself to Ronda Rousey, and seemed to admit to suicidal thoughts after her loss to Holly Holm at UFC 193.
"I delt with it really tough," Brown said. "It was a tough one. You know, I probably felt like Ronda Rousey; I wanted to kill myself, which is after every loss, you know, we're all the same. But you know what, I have three kids and I had to come home and be a role model to them. I had to get up the next morning and make breakfast, and show them that no matter how many times you get taken down, you get your ass up and do it again. Well, my point I guess is that you really do feel like you want to kill yourself. You feel like that low of a person. You get beat up like that in front of millions of people, your friends and family. You know, it's not right to feel that way, and you shouldn't feel that way, but you do feel that way. I'm fortunately mature enough to be able to handle those feelings and not act on them, obviously, but of course I guess it's more of an expression that you really do feel that low at that time."
The Ohio native, however, took to social media to clear up any confusion and slam journalists.
?Ok let's clear up these headlines/click bait. First off, I should have never even mentioned suicide as it is a very serious issue for people and I'll never truly relate to those folks. Second off, if you read the whole thing I cleared it up in the second paragraph here that I was simply using it as an expression. All fighters feel that low after a loss, especially after a devastating loss like I had with Ellenberger. I am a believer that losses are simply transitory disappointment and how you deal with the struggle and the disappointment is what defines you as a man. I allowed these feelings to run their course, accepted my disappointment, I let them go, and I got back in the gym where I belong. To sum it all up: I am not suicidal in any way, I won't speak of it again because it is something I don't understand, and I will continue to push forward with all I have. I apologize to anyone out there that has been through such hard times and I do not mean to undermine your issues"
UFC 207 will be taking place on Friday, December 30 from the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada with Amanda Nunes and Ronda Rousey headlining.