SRS RAW LIVE BLOG 3/25

 

ROWDY AND STUFF

  • Ronda Rousey comes out, takes the mic and says “you’re welcome” to women main eventing WrestleMania and drops the mic.
  • She picks the mic back up and says she’ll tap out Charlotte and Becky Lynch at the same time, then drops the mic.
  • She picks it back up again and calls a Beat The Clock challenge a “BS gimmick.”
  • Becky Lynch comes out (after the Riott Squad) and says that she makes Rousey better, and nobody cared about her WWE run until “The Man Came Along.”
  • Charlotte Flair is up next.

 

Beat the Clock
Ronda Rousey beats Sarah Logan (w/ Riott Squad) via submission 1:25

  • Sarah Logan hits the bricks and runs around the ring for about 30 seconds. Riott Squad help her out.  
  • Logan applies a, but Rousey hangs over the ropes with a triangle.
  • Armbar, tap.

Charlotte Flair vs. Ruby Riott (w/ Riott Squad)

  • Riott keeps countering everything of Charlotte’s. A big boot, Natural Selection, all thwarted. 
  • Riott is in control until Charlotte applies a Figure Eight out of a Riott kick. Ruby holds off tapping.

Becky Lynch pinned Liv Morgan in 1:18(w/ Riott Squad)

  • Charlotte boots Charlotte as soon as she hits the ring.
  • Liv Morgan jumps all over Becky Lynch.
  • Lynch fights back with tough strikes, but gets sent into the turnbuckle. 
  • Lynch rolls up Liv and gets the win with seven seconds to spare. 
  • At least they saved Ruby Riott — kind of. 

 

Finn Balor defeated Jinder Mahal & Bobby Lashley (w/ Singh Bros. & Lio Rush)
5/10

  • The numbers game quickly gets to Balor before the break. 
  • Balor sends Jinder into Lashley and cleans house.
  • Balor flips out onto the pile and finishes off Mahal to get the win. He’s going to Mania. We need that match, eh? Okay.
  • Lashley beats up the Singh Bros. and Jinder Mahal.
  • Okey dokey.

 

Backstage Crappenings

  • Elias is singing in Time Square and scolds a guy who approaches him and starts singing.

Aleister Black & Ricochet defeated The Revival
5.75/10

  • You’ve seen this match before. Ricochet moonsaults outside, the Revival cheats, Meteora outside. Black does his feint. You know.
  • It picks up after the commercial, as Revival does a double team suplex. 
  • Ricochet fires back with a dropkick that plants Dawson, and a neckbreaker I didn’t see because of a zoom.
  • Hey @WWE I’ll pay $30/month if you add episodes of your shows without weird zooms to it.
  • Dawson PLANTS Black with a huge DDT. The pin is broken up, I like that it wasn’t a kickout.  
  • Double Black Mass, 630, win. This ended up being really good.  
  • Revival has Rome still announce them as tag team champions. 

 

WrestleMANIAAAAAA

  • Drew McIntyre is out for an answer to his challenge. He shows a video from last week.
  • Drew says he exterminated Dean Ambrose. 
  • Roman Reigns comes out and accepts the challenge. 
  • Reigns attacks Drew for talking about his family.
  • Drew hits Roman right in the ballsack and hits a Claymore.

Sasha Banks (w/ Bayley) vs. Natalya (w/ Beth Phoenix
5.75/10

  • Corey Graves compares Sasha Banks to Whitey Bulger.
  • Natalya finds success with a surfboard, but can’t lock in the Sharpshooter.
  • Sasha does a nice merry-go-round rana outside before cracking her with a knee.
  • We come back from a commercial to see Natalya doing a Canadian backbreaker.
  • There’s a nice Banks Statement into a Sharpshooter counter, then Natalya gets sent into the turnbuckle.
  • Nia Jax and Tamina run in and attack everyone. Beth Phoenix hits Tamina with the Glam Slam. I would have picked someone else to do this to, and would eliminate the hesitation in it.
  • This match would have hit recommended viewing if most of it wasn’t during a commercial and had a real finish, but a fun one either way.
  • Natalya stays in the ring with Beth Phoenix during the Hart Foundation video. 

 

Moment of Bliss

  • Alexa takes credit for WrestleMania doing so much better.
  • She brings out Braun Strowman and asks about Michael Che and Colin Jost.
  • They’re on screen on the set of SNL. Jost puts on a Yankees hat (Raw is in Boston).
  • Che pleads with Braun, and Jost says he’ll teach Braun how to chew food and do his taxes and claims Braun is 5-11, 180. 
  • Jost wants Braun to pay him back for his car and get an autograph from Lesnar.
  • I cant WAIT for all of the PHYSICALLLYYYY memes.
  • Braun Strowman tells Jost to enter the battle royal, and Che agrees. Jost says Che’s in it too. 
  • Alexa Bliss trolls Che and Jost, then makes it official. 
  • I’m not sure why I enjoyed that segment, but for some reason I did. I accept your judgmental comments

 

Baron Corbin defeated Apollo Crews
5.75/10

  • Apollo dances circles around Corbin.
  • Renee Young butchers some commentary here. “I couldn’t hear it over that perfectly dropkick.”
  • Crews gets posted with authority. Corbin then does an awesome inverted Yokosuka Cutter- like a ripcord back suplex. 
  • Crews comes back and gets a frog splash. He eats an End of Days off the ropes.
  • This was really good, but it was short. Another End of Days after the match.
  • When he’s not bringing the action to a screeching half with a half nelson crossface.

Thoughts and PRAYERS

  • Seth Rollins cuts another ra-ra promo about Brock Lesnar.
  • He sounds like a politician honestly. This is like a bad movie promo where the leader sends a legion of followers into battle.
  • Paul Heyman comes out and trolls milennial Rollins, saying he needs thoughts & prayers because Rollins doesn’t have a thought or prayer to win.
  • Crossfit Jesus says he’s there to answer prayers, not ask for them. Good line.
  • Rollins drops the mic on Heyman.

 

LEVESQUE

  • Paul Levesque cutting a promo.
  • He can’t get an envelope out of his pocket and says “he’s doing the job for an envelope.” Yikes.
  • Triple H discusses Evolution. This is long and drawn out and a shitty promo. 
  • HHH says Batista’s agent had suggested in the past that WrestleMania be moved to accommodate Batista’s shooting schedule. 
  • Triple H has a letter saying that Batista won’t compete at Mania unless (insert Spice Girls lyrics).
  • Batista wants a career vs. career match.
  • Triple H calls Batista a douchebag. OoOooOoOo.

 

Last Man Standing
Drew McIntyre defeated Dean Ambrose
5.75/10

  • Backstage, Dean Ambrose challenges Drew McIntyre to a Last Man Standing match tonight, which Drew accepts.
  • Ambrose eats barricade for an 8 count. He also gets slung into it before the commercial.
  • Back from the break, Ambrose gets a suicide dive, but walks into a Glasgow Kiss.
  • Ambrose misses Drew by a mile with a boot, but it’s sold anyway.
  • Drew Rhyno 1999 Gores Ambrose through a table, then hits a Claymore. 
  • That’s it. 

Rating guide

10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor

Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a “star rating,” which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive “TV match” lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.

These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don’t take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!

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