LET'S SUPE SHAKE THINGS UP A BIT
- The Miz and Maryse are out as John Cena and Nikki Bella, and cut a promo.
- Dean Ambrose is there, and thinks Miz is Cena. I guess he's drunk.
- Dirty Deeds. Interesting
Backstage Crappenings
- Sami Zayn is backstage nagging Kurt Angle. He wants to stay on Raw, but Angle says SD Live is interested. Miz shows up to bitch, and they're gonna have a match. Sami Zayn towers over Kurt Angle.
- Curt Hawkins is on Raw. Big Show punches him.
- "Nah, I don't wanna be on TV!" - Dana Brooke to Emma
The Revival defeated New Day
- Kofi is hurt, so they have a blow up doll instead.
- This crowd sucks.
- They're facing Revival. Gotta burn through this one before New Day goes to Smackdown.
- This is abbreviated, paint by numbers and technically sound.
- Big E suplexes Dawson into the corner.
- Xavier tried a weird elbow drop across the ring. It didn't work.
- The Shatter Machine Revival do is insane, and Xavier's sell is gold.
TJ Perkins defeated Austin Aries
- Neville says Austin Aries isn't on the Neville Level. TJP shows up and Neville says he respects TJP, but nobody else does. Aries tells him not to buy it.
- TJP and Aries have a match. It's short.
- Neville distracts Aries, and TJP hits a small package.
- This serves a double purpose, because Perkins attacks and turns heel.
- TJP then sits in the aisle and watches the reply like a weirdo.
Seth Rollins
- Rollins says he's not leaving Raw and taking the easy way out again. He knows Stephanie will be back for revenge.
- Kurt Angle is out, and the crowd is waking up. Angle is keeping Rollins.
- Joe attacks Rollins from behind, and Angle tries to break it up.
Nia Jax defeated Charlotte
- This is a bad, hideous match. They didn't work together well and Nia is dangerous.
- There's this weird move where Jax steps towards someone and they fall.
- Nia drops Charlotte on her head. There were fools justifying this call-up last year.
- Elias Samson is walking around in the crowd.
- Jax kicks out of Natural Selection.
- Charlotte short on a moonsault that boots Nia in the head.
- They also miss the turnbuckle on a spot. This match sucks.
- Nia Jax wins with a Samoan Drop.
Finn Balor defeated Jinder Mahal
- Jinder Mahal stiffs the shit out of Balor.
- Why is Finn Balor reversing Mahal's Irish whips?
- Kick, stomp, dropkick, slingblade, stomp. Balor wins. He used an arm drag too
- You'll hear a lot of that during his matches
- Bray Wyatt shows up on the Titan Tron. Wow. House of Horrors match at Payback with Orton. Odd.
Sami Zayn defeated Miz (w/ Maryse)
- These two have a great opening exchange, including Miz hiding behind Maryse.
- The Daniel Bryan kicks into a Blue Thunder Bomb was sweet.
- Maryse holds Zayn's foot, but Zayn reverses a SKF into a pin!
- That wasn't an upset. Miz has no televised wins this year.
Roman Reigns is dead
- Aw fuck. They're doing the "had to do what I had to do" shit with Reigns. Son of a bitch.
- Braun Strowman attacks. Babyface underdog Reigns lives. They will never learn.
- Strowman sends Reigns flying and runs him over with a damn cart.
- HE THROWS A STRETCHER OFF THE DOCK. THEN TURNS AN AMBULANCE OVER. WHAT
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. THIS WAS COMICALLY LONG AND I WON'T TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK
- This will leads to a Reigns Superman deal, but this was great.
Hardy Boyz, Cesaro & Sheamus defeated Anderson, Gallows & Shining Stars
- The Hardys got a great reaction. The crowd is alive now.
- This is another paint-by-numbers match.
- Matt Hardy moves around....slowly. His hip sockets are..............BROKEN.
- Hardys win, respect shown to their future opponents.
- The crowd loved it. Nothing wrong here.
WOMEN SUPE SHAKIN'
- It looks like the Sasha Banks heel turn is coming....but Alexa Bliss comes out!
- Alexa Bliss will be great on Raw if she and Nia don't kill each other in the ring.
- Alexa gets a great reaction. Mickie James pops up too. Oh damn. Another good reaction
- Nia Jax attacks Mickie, then everyone else. Mickie James is the right woman to work with Nia Jax.
Dean Ambrose defeated Kevin Owens
- This is a battle of two guys who aren't really on the same level. Owens is always improving. Ambrose isn't.
- That is really shown in this match, as Owens uses innovative offense -- even elementary stuff.
- Pumphandle neckbreaker, for instance.
- I can't wait to see Kevin Owens try to chinlock Ellsworth.
- Hey! Ambrose surprised me. A clothesline with Owens crotched. Hopefully he doesn't use it every match now.
- Ambrose hits an elbow to the outside, then Dirty Deeds, and beats Owens.
- Jericho comes out, hits a Codebreaker, stands tall.
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