CruiserWeight Classic Bracket Analysis Bonanza!: PART TWO

Previously on's HUGE Cruiserweight Classic preview, we were introduced to Akira Tozawa and Gran Metalik, the favorites for their region, unless Jack Gallagher has something to say about it!

Welcome to Part Two

Bobby Lashley And Karrion Kross Engage In A War Of Words Ahead Of Match On 3/8 WWE SmackDown

Click here for Part One.

Follow along at home with your own bracket.

Bottom Left Quadrant: The Brexit Region

Gulak vs H. Sihra
Dar vs G. Sihra

First Things First: The Sihra Brothers are losing.

Which sucks, because the Bollywood Boyz are pretty damn awesome.

I mean, just look at them. They’re like Tandoori-flavored DX.

But there’s no way they’re beating Drew Gulak and Noam Dar.

However, here’s a little extra prediction: They’re getting signed to an NXT deal, then pushed to the moon so they can quickly get up to the main roster. The WWE knows that the Indian sub-continent is a huge market, but they haven’t had a South Asian superstar since the Great Khali hung up his dancing shoes. These guys have a ton of potential, and they can make The ‘E a ton of rupees.

But it’s not their time just yet.

Picks: Dar and Gulak

Zack Sabre Jr. vs Tyson Dux

Tyson Dux got a shout-out from Kevin Owens when he was announced for the Cruiserweight Classic, and anyone with the KO seal of approval is tops in my book.

Tyson Dux is a veritable legend on the Ontario wrestling scene, having wrestled there since he was a teenager. Which is a long time, since he’s currently THIRTY-EIGHT. It’s a really cool story.

I just wish he wasn’t facing Zack Sabre Jr. in the first round. (He wishes that, too, btw.)

Sabre is the darling of this tournament, and the overwhelming favorite to win it. He’s just fabulous in the ring, and if he goes all the way to the finals, you’ll get to see him wrestle 5 matches. Lucky you. Lucky all of us.

Here he is murking Chris Hero. Here’s highlights of his match with Ricochet at BOLA 2015. Highlights of his match with Lucha Underground favorite and real-life Mortal Kombat character Pentagon Jr. Highlights of his match with Kurt Angle. Highlights of his match with AJ Styles. Here he is wrestling Finn Balor with Finn cosplaying as the Joker, and here he is wrestling Shinsuke F*cking Nakamura.

Zack Sabre Jr might win this whole thing, guys.

Pick: Sabre Jr.

Ariya Daivari vs HoHo Lun

Ariya is the younger brother of the other Daivari, the one who managed Muhammad Hassan, then Kurt Angle, then the Great Khali.

This Daivari, Ariya is going to lose his first round match against HoHo Lun, because HoHo Lun is the founder of Hong Kong Pro-Wrestling Federation, while still being only 28, and that. Is BOSS.

Pick: HoHo Lun all the way.

2nd Round—

Sabre Jr vs Gulak – This is gonna be a great one. Watch Gulak here in this match vs Tommaso Ciampa.

Dude is BRUTAL.

He looks like he's a barrel of laughs, though, doesn't he?

Gulak and Sabre are going to try to shoot murder each other. Look for Sabre to win a close, lengthy, VICIOUS match.

Pick: Sabre Jr.

Noam Dar vs HoHo Lun –

Noam Dar is one of the top technical mat based wrestlers in the world.

He’s also handsome as f*ck. If you are a lady and you are looking at that photo, congratulations! You’re now pregnant. Oh, and did I mention, he’s only goddamn TWENTY-TWO.

Watch this video of him wrestling AJ Styles, three-and-a-half years ago, when he was only goddamn NINETEEN. Noam Dar is a Final Four level talent in this tournament. It’s only too bad he’s got to meet up with Zack Sabre Jr. in the Elite Eight. Sometimes the seeding is a bitch, man. Pick: Noam Dar

Regional Final— Sabre Jr. over Noam Dar

Here’s these two dudes wrestling almost 5 years ago, in a high school gymnasium in Scotland in front of approximately eighty-five paying customers.

Both wrestlers look like they’re in the eighth grade. Hell, even the damn REF looks like he just came from manning the drive thru at the local Burger King. Now, for the impatient among you, it doesn’t really start getting good until about the 11 minute mark, but around that time, HOLY SHIT. These two young men start trying to really hurt one another. Strong style strikes and vicious looking submission holds. It’s f*cking INHUMANE. Imagine what you see in that video, but adding about 57 more months worth of training and experience for each participant, and we’re in for a real treat, you guys.

Click HERE for Part Three, The Right half of the Bracket

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