Tommy Dreamer opens up about his depression.
Tommy Dreamer was in a bad place after ECW went out of business. The ECW legend recently revealed on his House of Hardcore podcast that his depression almost got the better of him at WrestleMania X-7 in Houston.
"When ECW went out of business, I was 29 years old. I had a lot of my money, my parent's money, trying to float the company. Paul Heyman, who I thought me and him were super tight, he screwed me over big time. He was in WWE, the whole time. I had turned down hundreds of thousands of dollars to go to WCW. And now was unemployed. When I tell you that I went from a $750,000 offer, and Paul Heyman crying to me, that if I leave ECW, it will go out of business and meanwhile he was getting a paycheck from WWE. I don’t begrudge him, but then I did. I was depressed as depressed can be. I had women, I had fame, I had everything, and yes, it was the worst time of my life. I was doing indies, making decent money on the indies. But, I lived at home, and I was sad."
Continuing, Dreamer told his grand plan to get back at Paul Heyman and his depression at the same time.
"This is crazy for me to admit it, but I am doing it for a reason. Wrestlemania [X7 in] Houston Paul Heyman told me I was going to debut. All this stuff, when they had TLC and Spike Dudley came in, and Rhyno came in, and Lita came in. That was supposed to be my spot and that got ixnayed. Then there was gonna be a hardcore 24/7 thing, that was gonna be 'all about you.' That was when I was supposed to debut," recalled Dreamer. "I remember I did a show there, and I saw a sign that said 'Guns Welcome' and I was in Houston. I did an indie show, and I said 'What is this?' I’m from New York, what do you mean 'Guns Welcome?' and they said 'Oh, you are allowed to bring a firearm into the venue.' I was right across the street from the Astrodome. When I tell you it resonated in my head so, so much. I’ll tell you what I wanted to do. It’s sick that I think this. At Wrestlemania, I was gonna hop the rail and I was gonna whack Paul E. in the back of the head right at the announce table, then I was gonna whack myself. The ultimate martyr, I was gonna hit my pose crack, boom, pull the trigger. Because I was that insane, don’t know if I would have went through with it, but that’s what I was thinking about everyday. I was like 'I will go down in history.' Hit my pose. Pop, boom. First they’d think it as an angle until I shot him. I was so severely depressed and so mental with rage, I needed help."
Fortunately, Dreamer did not go through with his plan, thanks to a phone call from Jim Ross.
"I needed help. That help came from a phone call from Jim Ross. Randomly, I get a phone call from a number I didn’t know… I didn’t pick up, and I remember having these thoughts, and it was bad. I had a gun. Could you think about the horribleness that I would have done for my legacy? I would have ruined Wrestlemania, which I love WrestleMania, for everybody. These thoughts were so crazed in my head. 'How dare that person, he screwed my parents over, I was screwed.' I come from a mobster mentality. In my head, I was like 'I would become infamous.' I’m glad I didn’t do it. But when that phone call came from Jim Ross. Again, just said leave a message. It said, 'Hey Tommy, it’s Jim Ross, just want to let you know, we are still thinking about you, we are gonna get it done, just got to hang tight. Thank you.' I've never revealed that to anybody. Not even Jim Ross," said Dreamer. "Think of how stupid I would have been, how dumb and how messed up my thoughts would have been if they would have come to fruition. I am so happy I didn’t do it, I am so happy that I did get that phone call, from someone who was a stranger, I barely knew the guy. There was another day; there has been a lot of other days."
We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention, and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255