Eddie Kingston has always been open and honest regarding his struggles with depression and anxiety. He previously revealed that he's suffered anxiety attacks during his AEW career.
In Kingston's own words, part of his struggles has to do with love and acceptance stemming from his childhood. Kingston has become one of the most beloved wrestlers in AEW, which is something he struggles with.
Speaking on Blindsided, Kingston was asked about accepting love from the fans.
"No, not yet, I'm still trying to figure that out," he said when asked if he's accepted the love. "I think it stems from second grade and never feeling like you're good enough or waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm always waiting for something bad to happen, or I'm waiting for me, which I was known for, for years, for blowing it up myself. A lot of wrestlers who knew me would tell you, back in the day, 'Give it time, Eddie will ruin it for himself.' I would get in my own way. There is always that fear that is there. I'm always like, 'These people better not love me because I'm known for doing this and that. I'm worried about it so they shouldn't love me.' My mother always told me that I had a problem that I had so much love to give, but I never wanted to accept it back. It's still like that. Sometimes friends, close friends, will tell me 'thank you' for whatever I did for them and I would tell them, 'don't thank me. This is what I'm supposed to do. I'm your friend. This is what I'm supposed to do. Don't thank me.' Even people I don't like, and they know I don't like them, I'm pretty honest, they know I don't like them but I'll help them with wrestling because I love wrestling and I don't want anyone to get hurt in the ring and I don't want anyone to hurt AEW or professional wrestling. When I help someone, that's what it's for, it doesn't matter if I like you or not. They'll come up to me, 'Thank you, thank you.' 'Don't thank me, this is what I'm supposed to do.' I don't like thank yous. It's very hard for me to accept that love because they don't know me from my past. I still have to forgive myself first for my past. That's an everyday thing and I know it. I'm not going to be done trying to forgive myself until I'm in the ground. I've accepted that. What I won't accept is not trying to forgive myself. I won't accept that anymore. If I just live in my past then I'm never going to grow. I would have never gotten to AEW if I didn't grow. It took the pandemic and everything for me to be like, 'snap out of it. Grow up. Try your best instead of wallowing in your own self-pity.'"
Kingston continued by saying, "You have to value yourself, and it's not easy. I could sit here and tell you, 'Yup, I love myself. I love myself right now,' but you never know. Once I get off this thing, something may happen to piss me off or something may come up that puts me on that path of not loving myself. I'm trying to work on it every day. If I don't love myself then I can't love anyone else and I can't help no one else. Bryan Danielson told me, 'We're in a position now where we can help others.' I have to work on loving myself so I can help others when it's time."
While making the media rounds, Kingston reflected on the passing of Larry Sweeny (Alexander Whybrow) and more. You can find his full comments by clicking here.
Kingston is set to be in action at AEW Rampage Grand Slam when he faces Sammy Guevara. Fightful will have live coverage of AEW Rampage Grand Slam beginning at 10 p.m. ET.
September is Suicide Prevention Month. There are many support services that are here to help. Resources can be found at The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (1-800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741).
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