KO and Zayn
- "Pound of flesh" is the latest Vince-ism.
- KO and Zayn feel oppressed and act accordingly. Shane McMahon comes out and makes a Clash of Champions match for KO & Zayn against Orton and a partner of his choosing. Zayn vs. Orton tonight with KO handcuffed to the turnbuckle.
- This was another long promo that got to something not huge. Orton attacks KO somewhere in here too.
- Backstage throughout the night, we see KO and Zayn trying to get out of the match.
Rusev & Aiden English defeated New Day (w/ Xavier Woods)
- Aiden English sings the 12 Days Of Rusev and he's interrupted. Cutting edge creativity.
- I'm a fan of Kofi Kingston's Mushroom Stomp more than I am paint by numbers tag matches that are boring early and improve later.
- Big E's uranage was something to behold, but was showed up by an insane Kofi dive over the top after Rusev had thrown E into stairs.
- Rusev kicks Kofi in the back of the head for a win. I imagine they'll be in the tag title match now.
- Mojo Rawley makes an impressive case for beating the crap out of Zack Ryder, touting his own singles success.
- Lana, Tamina, Carmella are all backstage complaining about not being in a title match at Clash. Riott Squad come in and make their cases too. I totally get you Sarah Logan. My podcast co-hosts are prejudiced against people from the south too. Carmella drops an Ellsworth reference, saying she rid the world of him. Harsh.
- Ziggler interrupts Corbin and Roode's pissing contest to explain why he's in their match. MATHEMATICALLY?
- Natalya reminds the Welcoming Committee who they are, and kisses Riott Squad's asses. Natalya says she'll be there to support Tamina tonight.
Bludgeon Brothers kill Jobbers
- I love jobber ass kickings.
- I need Bludgeon Brothers against War Machine.
Bobby Roode, Baron Corbin, Dolph Ziggler
- This is a fine match until Ziggler interferes and lays them both out.
- I imagine they'll go heavy on selling Ziggler as belonging here.
Charlotte Flair defeated Tamina (w/ Welcoming Commitee)
- Lana is still over. The crowd "wants" her. Well she's out there. What do you want her to do? She can dance really well and stuff.
- This match is just lame and inconsequential. At least it's the first time I remember it happening.
- Charlotte wins. This is sad.
- Natalya cuts a promo and Charlotte has to be bleeped for saying "shit."
- Riott says "FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH YOU NATTIE." Did I miss their long, storied history of disagreements?
- I can tell you that the saying is actually "as nervous as a cat shitting razor blades"
Randy Orton defeated Sami Zayn (w/ Kevin Owens)
- Kevin Owens really sells having to stay away from Orton while handcuffed. By the way, Eric Watts from Tough Enough 2011 is one of the security guards, giving him more main roster time on TV than any other male on that show in the last five years.
- Orton isn't selling much early, but goes on to hit one of the best superplexes I've ever seen.
- Zayn finds bolt cutters and Owens gets free, but is beaten up accordingly.
- Orton wins, but is attacked. Shinsuke Nakamura returns to make the save!
- Daniel Bryan asks Shane backstage if he's done torturing Owens and Zayn. Shane McMahon says he'll be the special ref at Clash of Champions. If KO & Zayn lose, they're fired from WWE.