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Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Sionne & Fatu defeated Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Jim Neidhart, Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett when Razor Ramon survives
4.5/10
- One solo entrance, and they're really pushing Diesel. For good reason. He would become WWF Champion that week.
- Huge 1-2-3 chants from the crowd. He's not on the same page with Anvil, but fortunately just running into Neidhart gets you on the same page.
- Jarrett goes for a sunset flip on Kid, who just moves out of the way. Sionne, the former Barbarian press slams Jarrett.
- "It sounds like he's SHEDDING,"- Monsoon. "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!"- Vince.
- Owen and Davey are in and trade a beautiful series. Smith catapults Owens Hart into the corner. It's such an underrated spot to get a pop when all the faces beat on the hateable Owen.
- I really enjoy how Davey Boy sells an enziguri by flipping. He takes out his Hart Foundation friends with a double clothesline, then he suplexes Neidhart.
- For some reason Fatu starts screwing about with his boot. "WHEN YOUR FEET HURT YOU LOSE YOUR CONCENTRATION!"- Gorilla Monsoon.
- Jarrett does everything he can to avoid Razor, so when Ramon finally cracks him, it gets a really big pop.
- Jarrett is taking a beating, and finally Diesel tags in after he and HBK intentionally stayed out. Diesel immediately Jackknifes and pins Fatu. 1-2-3 Kid isn't much further off, even though he gets a little offense. Nash pins him with one foot. Sionne almost dead weights Diesel, but eats a powerbomb and a pin too.
- Bulldog comes in after Diesel, and perhaps does it a little too fast after the run Diesel just had, because Diesel.
- This spot takes way too long to set up. Diesel is tired and wants a tag, and I think Bulldog gets counted out but it's hard to tell. HBK won't tag in.
- Razor is the last one in, and he has a tough time covering for the green and tired Diesel. Still, Diesel lands a couple of nice big boots.
- Shawn Michaels superkicks Diesel on accident, but I don't see the big issue. It's 5-on-1 at this point. Diesel is livid.
- The Teamsters try to stop it, and ALL OF THEM get counted out. What a dumb finish. Wow. Razor Ramon wins.
- Michaels cuts a lame promo on his way to the limo saying he's done with Diesel and he's made him.
The Royal Family defeated The Clowns
2/10
- All of the little people run over Lawler, he's unhappy. The King gets his to do the same to Doink, but they fall over.
- "Why would he name them Sleazy, Weezy and Cheesy?" - Vince. "I guess because it rhymes, Vince!"- Gorilla Monsoon.
- Lawler selling how much he hates the Burger King hat was excellent.
- That's about the only positive thing. The rest of this match is total horseshit. It's not funny, it's not good.
- Lawler holds the tights and beats Doink. So Lawler can only fight Doink, so how can you eliminate someone? Wow, this is stupid.
- The reality is despite Doink and Lawler both being good workers, their part was total trash, but the little people had a better showing. This was going to hit 1/10 territory before they got involved.
- Dink has a hell of a working punch. He gets pinned, though. Mercifully this is over. This was really bad.
- Lawler heels the little people, then all of them chase him out of the ring. He walks right into a pie to the face. This never ends.
Backstage Crappenings.
- There's a really embarrassing segment with Todd Pettingill wearing a cowboy hat and trying to interview Bull Nakano. He talks really slow and tells her to speak English. Yeesh.
WWF Championship
Submission Match
Bob Backlund defeated Bret "The Hitman" Hart (c)
5.25/10
- Owen Hart is out with Bob Backlund, Bulldog is out with Bret Hart.
- Bret starts by brawling, then yanks Backlund over the top with a headlock
- There's a lot of grappling going on, and Bret manages a nice belly-to-belly suplex.
- Lots of shots of the Hart family during this.
- This was very clearly called in the ring. They are pacing themselves for a long time, and the crowd is making noise despite no big spots. The crowd is really excited about a Figure Four from Hart.
- Bulldog pounding the apron is driving me nuts.
- Backlund does a god-awful swinging neckbreaker. Hart follows up by posting Backlund and getting a back body drop. Backlund recovers with a sleeper.
- Davey Boy lunges for Owen outside the ring and hits his head on the stairs and is knocked out. Owen is concerned.
- Backlund applies a damn good Crossface Chickenwing. This spot legit lasts eight minutes.
- Owen Hart is begging for his parents to throw in the towel. Somehow the crowd is still into it and begging for Bret. Meanwhile Bulldog isn't awake TEN MINUTES LATER -- coma territory.
- Bret's mother throws in the towel and Owen runs off in joy.
- It is really clear by Vince's commentary that he wanted to replicate the George Foreman feat of a 45-year old winning the WWF Championship.
- Backlund cuts a loony promo backstage. He is a great promo and character. He says he'll take on anybody. He'd lose to Diesel days later.
The Million Dollar Team (King Kong Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Tatanka & Heavenly Bodies) defeated Lex Luger, Smokin' Gunns, Adam Bomb & Mabel (w/ Mo)
3.5/10
- The Million Dollar Corporation was a collection of guys who had value at any given points of their careers, but none were anywhere near their peak.
- I saw Luger bulldog Tatanka and throw Jimmy Del Rey and it reminded me he should just clothesline people.
- When Mabel falls, Prichard jumps all over him. Unfortunately for Prichard, he's pinned when Mabel jumps all over him from the second rope. Del Rey runs into a falling sidewalk slam, too.
- Bundy gets shoudlerblocked and knocked down. These spots used to be really easy heat.
- Mabel is slammed off the top rope by Bam Bam, but sits on him during a sunset flip attempt. I'm not sure why he didn't go for a pin. Instead he almost kills himself and Bam Bam with a clothesline over the top. This causes a Mabel countout.
- I can see why they thought Adam Bomb would be something, but there was obviously something missing. He gets pinned by a Bam Bam moonsault.
- Luger flies through and clotheslines Del Rey for a pin. This leads to the Smokin' Gunns double teaming Tatanka with their mullets. Tatanka ends up hitting one of his worst End Of The Trails I've ever seen to pin Bart.
- Why did Warren pick this show? Tatanka looks exhausted and this match is the total shits.
- Eventually Bundy pins Billy Gunn. It's down to LEX. He valiantly fights off everyone, then gets beat up for like eight minutes. Luger pins Tatanka with a small package, then anticlimactically gets squished by Bundy.
- This was bad. Tatanka does another one of his shitty finishes for good measure. They all beat up Luger until help arrives.
Casket Match
The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) defeated Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji & James E. Cornette)
Troubleshooting REF: Chuck Norris
5.75/10
- CHUCK FREAKIN' NORRIS BRO. He's here. He was a big star back then, too.
- It's wild to hear them reference things from the Royal Rumble 11 months prior.
- As corny as this was, Yokozuna was so good. He falls down when Taker does the throat slash and freaks out over the casket.
- He was perfect for this era. Tatanka should have taken notes on how to do a Samoan drop, which Yoko does right after Old School. He has a beautiful uranage as well.
- Both guys fight it out in a casket, and Fuji grabs Taker's hair. I wish Taker would have cracked Fuji like he did Cornette.
- Taker flies from the top rope with a wild, but cool looking clothesline on Yokozuna.
- King Kong Bundy comes out and the focus is on Chuck Norris. The crowd gets wild waiting for this. Bam Bam Bigelow follows. I.R.S hits the ring while Norris is distracted.
- IRS is fought off, but Yokozuna is still afraid of closing the lid. Yoko plays up his fears of the casket so well.
- Jeff Jarrett shows up, gets kicked by Chuck Norris and hits the bricks, the crowd is going crazy.
- A big clothesline and running DDT finishes it off. Taker wins and breaks the Japanese flag over his knee.
- That's a wrap. This was easily the best match on the show.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5.
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