Andrade 'Cien' Almas (w/ Zelina Vega) defeated Sin Cara (7:00)
- A pre-show match starting at 6:15 EST? Cool.
- Pretty much right out of the gate, Almas slams Sin Cara into the barricade.
- I'd normally be like "ugh, running this one back," but they tore the house down on Smackdown, so sure. Every show having 14 matches is a little nuts though.
- I'm surprised WWE lets Sin Cara do the Volador Spiral, especially after seeing it on TV last week.
- Sin Cara avoided doing the dumbass Alberto Del Rio spot and pushed Almas off the top and makes him bump off the apron.
- Sin Cara should stop doing huracanranas to the outside. He almost always cracks his head on the ground.
- A frog splash causes Zelina to distract, and Almas wins with the knees and a hammerlock DDT.
- Time to move on to a real feud.
- If WWE wants to make "tranquilo" cool to their viewers, I'd recommend their announcers and talking heads not putting over how cool it is.
Sanity defeated New Day (8:00)
- This was not too smooth in the early going.
- Kofi and Xavier do in stereo dives outside, and Dain follows with a suicide dive.
- A uranage/backstabber on Dain doesn't look too hot on the outside, but a Double Doomsday Stomp sure as hell does.
- Dain Michinoku Drivers Kofi onto Big E.
- Kofi and Wolfe are fighting on the apron. Eric Young elbow drops Kofi through the table. This is why elimination rules work better for tag team tables matches.
WWE Raw Tag Team Championships
The B-Team defeated Deleter of Worlds (c) to become Raw Tag Team Champions (8:00)
- The crowd reacts big to a Bray Wyatt/Bo faceoff, but Axel gets tagged in.
- I think Bray Wyatt doing headbutts a few weeks after he had a car accident where he couldn't remember what happened maybe isn't the hottest idea.
- This match has the benefit of being on early, because I don't know if it would have the crowd this hot later on -- but then again I'm not sure if anything will.
- Bray Wyatt is pushed out of the ring and Bo Dallas gets Matt Hardy with the Au Revoir.
- Curtis Axel essentially cuts a Joe Dirt promo about winning the titles.
- Bray still isn't cleared to do a lot and threw a wrench into the whole angle.
- Angle says Brock Lesnar will appear on Raw, decide when he'll defend his title next, or be stripped of the title
- Bludgeon Brothers attack Team Hell No backstage and work over Kane's ankle. He was seen wearing a walking boot. I wish Miz would replace Kane, but he's in Washington.
Finn Balor defeated Constable Corbin (8:20)
- Baron Corbin has great clotheslines.
- I love when Baron Corbin catches someone hopping over the ropes with his punches.
- Almost everything in the ring Baron Corbin does, he goes 100 percent on, and the offense looks good.
- This is very much a 2016 Finn Balor performance, but against Corbin, it's the right way to go. Heavy on the kicks, bumping around for the bigger guy, selling great.
- Balor wins with a small package. Very solid, fast paced match.
Smackdown Women's Championship
Carmella (c) defeated Asuka (5:25)
James Ellsworth above the ring in a shark cage.
- Lots of "OH" in this match. Asuka strikes Carmella hard, and Carmella bumps early a lot.
- Ellsworth keeps trying to smuggle things to Carmella.
- Mark Jindrak might be able to jump into that cage from a standing position. It's low.
- Carmella gets to the ropes on the Asuka Lock, and gets suplexed outside the ring.
- Ellsworth gets out of the cage, but is stuck dangling upside down and gets kicked repeatedly.
- Asuka gets rammed into the cage and pinned. That made Asuka look like a doofus, and Carmella an excellent opportunist and strategist
- This wasn't fun. Asuka beats up Ellsworth and applies the Asuka Lock.
- WWE has paced this show really well so far.
WWE United States Championship
Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Jeff Hardy (c) to become WWE United States Champion (0:06)
- Really hoping Nakamura takes this one. Jeff looks in pain ALL the time.
- RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT IN THE PENIS.
- Kinshasa. Win. Good. Hardy's run has been bad.
- Randy Orton has returned. Some in WWE thought he was going to take the entire summer off.
- Randy Orton just stomped on Hardy's pistachios! Nakamura looks on, confused.
Kevin Owens defeated Braun Strowman (8:05)
- Owens manages to knock Strowman into the corner to hit a Cannonball, then a frog splash for two.
- Oh, now he gets the shit kicked out of him. CLUBBERIN'.
- The crowd keeps chanting "one more time" when Strowman throws Owens into the cage.
- Owens hits a stunner and tries to get out of the cage, but Strowman pulls the cage door into Owens.
- Strowman is shackled to the ropes and Owens tells him to suck it. Strowman breaks off to a huge pop.
- Strowman chokeslams Owens from the top of the cage through the announcer's table! No shocker, WWE production fucked up catching that spot live.
- Owens is the winner.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championships
Bludgeon Brothers (c) defeated Team Hell No (8:20)
Daniel Bryan is a house of fire and fights both guys.
A super frankensteiner hits and a Yes Lock is applied, but it gets broken up.
Rowan pretty aggressively yanks Bryan out of the ring and throws him into the stairs.
Daniel Bryan works his comeback but gets caught on a suicide dive by Rowan. Harper goes for his own, but cracks Rowan. This was an outstanding spot.
Kane's music hits, and he's on a boot. I hope Kane does a big boot with the big boot. Alas, he doesn't.
Kane FIRED UP, but Bryan gets hit with a Doomsday Device and pinned.
Bobby Lashley defeated Roman Reigns (14:50)
- The crowd is not very into this, but boy is it a good thing it's going on now.
- Some back and forth and Lashley hits a FLYING AXEHANDLE.
- Roman tosses Lashley over the top rope to the floor. Nasty bump.
- These two are slamming each other hard. Some hossin' around going on.
- WAIT HOW DID HE KICK OUT OF THE VERTICAL SUPLEX THATS HIS FINISH.
- Reigns gets a Superman Punch, but it's only good for a two. Outside, Lashley belly to belly suplexes Reigns over an announce table.
- Lashley Superman punched off the top rope, but comes back with a spear and wins!
WWE Raw Women's Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) (w/ Mickie James) defeated Nia Jax (7:30)
- Ronda Rousey shown at ringside with her husband Travis Browne.
- Nia bulldozes Alexa, then press slams her on a trash can.
- Mickie gets involved, then Nattie. Rousey jumps the barricade and attacks Mickie. There was almost a botch with Mickie into the barricade, but Rousey just bruted her into it.
- Rousey goes after Alexa, but Mickie hits Ronda with a kendo stick.
- Jax ends up getting DDT'd on a chair and pinned.
- Rousey mean mug on the out shot.
AJ Styles (c) defeated Rusev (w/ Aiden English)
- Styles taking a back body drop is always horrifying.
- Big Rusev day chants, and Styles can't apply a calf crusher because Rusev's calf is too big.
- Rusev tries to go for a suicide dive, but gets caught with a forearm.
- Rusev briefly applies the Accolade, but Styles transitions into the calf crusher.
- A Machka Kick lands and Rusev ALMOST gets the pin. That sold me a ticket.
- Another dangerously close near fall on a pop-up kick, but Rusev's leg is too hurt to apply the Accolade.
- Aiden English removes the top turnbuckle cover, but Rusev ends up running into it. Aw man, I hope this doesn't lead to Rusev Day splitting up.
- Rusev kicks out of a springboard 450 and gets chants!
- Styles baseball slides Aiden English out of the equation and gets the Phenomenal Forearm for the win.
30 Minute Iron Man Match
Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Drew McIntyre) defeated Seth Rollins
- Dolph Ziggler is wearing Evil Kenevil inspired gear.
- Buckle Bomb connects early and Rollins gets a la magistral about five minutes in. Wow.
- Rollins is up 1-0
- We see some back and forth action and eight minutes in Rollins cracks Ziggler with a big superkick for the pin.
- Rollins is up 2-0
- McIntyre jumps in and beats the living shit out of Rollins. From apron to barricade, Drew McIntyre beats Rollins' ass and gets Ziggler DQ'd.
- Rollins is up 3-0
- Drew McIntyre ejected and the Claymore hits on his way out.
- Not much on the crowd counting down every minute.
- Ziggler crawls over and gets a pin.
- Rollins is up 3-1
- Superkick from Ziggler and a pinfall.
- Rollins is up 3-2
- Drew McIntyre sacrifices himself (and a fall) to get Ziggler two falls. A Zig Zag evens it up.
- We are tied at 3-3
- WWE took the clock off the screen to get fans to stop counting, now there's a "where's the clock" chant. Now they're just counting to nothing. This is a real dipshit crowd. Pittsburgh not giving WWE a real reason to not close the show with Roman Reigns every month moving forward.
- Rollins goes for a suicide dive and gets cracked. Ziggler pins with his feet on the ropes.
- Ziggler is up 4-3
- Ziggler grabs a sleeper hold for a couple of minutes. The crowd briefly gets into Rollins, before resuming counting.
- Suicide dive for Rollins, then a blockbuster.
- WWE finally figured out it's better to have one real countdown per minute than three fake ones per minute. They put the clock back up. The wrestlers needed it to time their spots.
- This is a crowd hijacking a match to get themselves over. It's sad.
- Ripcord Knee for a two count. But a la magistral got a pin 20 minutes ago. A frog splash can't get it done either. Same with a superplex Falcon Arrow.
- Finally a catapult into the buckle gets it done for Rollins.
- Tied at 4-4
- Rollins applies a Sharpshooter, then a Crossface with two minutes left.
- Ziggler tries to run away and take a tie to retain (there's sudden death). Rollins sends him back in.
- A fameasser hits, but Rollins manages a superkick and Curb Stomp.
- Time is up.
- Kurt Angle comes out and restarts the match in sudden death.
- McIntyre is back out and distracts Rollins. Zig Zag and a pin.
- Dolph Ziggler wins.
- This didn't live up to the hype and the crowd didn't help.