Opening Segment
- Kurt Angle welcomes us to WWE RAW, and reveals that the women's Royal Rumble will have the same rules as the men's.
- Cesaro is sans mouth guard just days after I was told how funny Vince McMahon thinks it is. He and Sheamus aren't happy about the nepotism.
- Jason Jordan isn't happy about nepotism, and gets a match with Cesaro. Seth Rollins comes out and says Jason Jordan has a lot to learn, and he's out here to see Jordan lose.
Jason Jordan (w/ Seth Rollins) defeated Cesaro (w/ Sheamus)
6/10
- Jordan's dropkick is great, and I'm very much looking forward to Cesaro vs. Jordan matches.
- Jason Jordan has to get some gear that makes him not look like he's the leader of The Bar.
- Cesaro works over Jason Jordan's leg masterfully.
- Rollins being a wiley vet taking a youngster under his wing rules. This isn't a pair I thought I'd see, and I like that. I want to see new, different combinations.
- Rollins intercepts Sheamus, and Jordan hits his finish for the win. Solid stuff.
Bray Wyatt defeated Apollo Crews (w/ Titus Worldwide)
- Apollo hits the old hilo, which I love.
- I like Booker T calling out Apollo Crews for grabbing a headlock while he was on a roll.
- A rope hung jawbreaker from Wyatt hits, and looks nice.
- This is a fine match, the result is just never in doubt. Apollo Crews does well, and gets clotheslined and body pressed out of his boots.
- Dana Brooke has never been better on the WWE main roster, and she falls onto Titus O'Neil. This was hilarious.
- Apollo Crews almost comes back, but eats Sister Abigail for the loss.
- We get a Woken promo after and Bray Wyatt sells it so well.
Backstage Crappenings
- Nia Jax taking Enzo chicken noodle soup! Fantastic. Alexa Bliss needs her, but she says her soup is getting cold after Alexa tries to make her choose.
- Samoa Joe says Dean Ambrose is living off his wife's paycheck in the middle of an awesome promo.
- The Club is back together! What a great pop for those three. Balor is in the Rumble. So is Bayley. Absolution, too.
Asuka defeated Alexa Bliss
4.25/10
- The two start off with some decent chain wrestling
- Asuka's ass taunts and offense seem so out of place for her character.
- It looks like a cue was missed for a commercial, because the spot was set up, Michael Cole sounded like he was throwing to one, and Bliss powdered out again.
- Alexa's rope hung kick on Asuka is nice. The bow and arrow on the post sets up Alexa attacking the back really well with a hair pull backbreaker.
- Alexa Bliss pulls out a guillotine, but the crowd doesn't care about it. Alexa gets mad and ends up taking two dropkicks as badly as I've seen in a while before actually letting one connect with her.
- There's like a hip-toss GTS that misses Alexa by a mile that the commentators sell big time.
- Asuka submits Alexa.
- The oft-missed offense really ruined that for me.
Braun Strowman defeated Rhyno (and kind of Heath Slater)
- Heath Slater's theme represents he and Rhyno (two men) by referring to both one and three man bands.
- Strowman kills Rhyno, then gets mad that Slater is on the apron.
- Strowman says "get these hands" in a promo urging Heath Slater to join the match.
- Slater and Rhyno gain the advantage for a second, then they die.
- Braun.
- I just don't know how WWE could avoid having Braun Strowman as a dominant champion that tears shit up all the time. Isn't this guy the WWE wet dream anyway? Just do it. I'll take Reigns vs. Braun No DQ at Mania.
- He kills Heath Slater and Rhyno some more.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
If Roman Reigns Gets DQ'd He Loses the Title
Roman Reigns (c) defeats Samoa Joe
6.75/10
- These two have great, hard-hitting chemistry.
- I'll keep saying it -- Reigns' clotheslines aren't good.
- Not a lot stands out here. It's just good, upper card level work.
- Why do they even have Roman Reigns tease using the stairs? It's dumb, 1990 pandering.
- Back inside the ring, the crowd is really hot. Joe shoved Reigns into the ref, who threatens to DQ him.
- Reigns is really the master of the 2.99999. He's gotten so good at kicking out at just the right time. (In b4 "hes had so much practice hurdurr).
- Coquina Clutch gets countered into a spear. Reigns retains.
Cedric Alexander & Goldust defeated The Zo Train
5/10
- Drew Gulak cuts a promo for Enzo Amore, which is really good. Cedric Alexander wants a match tonight. They say they'll give him a tag team match. GOLDUST comes to side with Cedric Alexander.
- What an awkward way to start a match.
- I wonder if agents, wrestlers, whoever realize that someone getting beaten up when they turn their back on someone isn't seen as sympathetic these days. Nobody wants to identify with being a dumbass.
- Goldust and Gulak mess up a running bulldog spot, but Goldust gets "you still got it" chants. He takes about a year to set up a body press.
- Lumbar Check, win.
The Balor Club defeated Elias & Miztourage
- Miztourage announces Miz is returning next week.
- The first time Balor has teamed with Anderson and Gallows since March 2014, I believe.
- Balor looks thrilled. There's also some motivation in Gallows I've not seen in a while. Last time I remember him in the ring, he didn't look so great.
- Magic Killer/ Coup De Grace gets it done, and Anderson hits a slingshot body press.
Lesnar
- You've heard a Paul Heyman promo before. It was good.
- Kane comes down to the ring and Chokeslams Lesnar.
- Lesnar sat up, laughed and cracked Kane with the title. Both men sailed over the ropes.
- Nobody does a pull apart brawl better than Lesnar.
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