Jeff Hardy defeated Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ
5.75/10
- Jeff Hardy says Randy Orton wants to inflict a load of pain on him. How the hell is Jeff Hardy gonna say INFLICT A LOAD on a night where I don't have a @getbluechew read.
- Then he sings Obsolete, and fewer fans are remembering the song. The WWE machine really took a big shit on the Broken Universe.
- "After tonight I'm going STRAIGHT TO HELL, ENJOY THE SHOW" - Jeff Hardy.
- This match is just there, but Nakamura seems like he's really turning up the strikes. He utilized some good knees and kicks, especially the rebound heel kick.
- Tom Phillips calls Jeff Hardy's sleeperslam a Slingblade. It's close, but it's not a Slingblade. He follows up with a really good Whisper in the Wind.
- Nakamura nails a really smooth sliding dropkick, but whiffs on a few kicks and eats a Twist of Fate.
- As Hardy goes for a Swanton, Randy Orton emerges and pushes him onto the top rope, crotching him.
- Orton attacks Hardy, but Hardy is able to fire back and wears out Orton with a chair and an old-school style Twist of Fate. A Swanton Bomb hits, too.
The House That AJ Styles Built
- AJ Styles cuts a promo sitting on the stairs of an empty arena ring. This was a really nice, different setting, and a good promo about him building "this house." He says Joe has a family, too.
- A different approach and setting. Shift the paradigm
- Samoa Joe certainly shifts the paradigm. He tells a bedtime story promo about kicking Joe's ass. I feel like this is more of a Bray Wyatt promo.
Charlotte Flair defeated Sonya Deville (w/ Mandy Rose)
4/10
- I loved all the graphics and lights in the background and how Sonya Deville's entrance was shot.
- Charlotte wants competition ahead of this Sunday, and says Becky Lynch needs to watch.
- The little things like Charlotte Flair stuffing a Sonya Deville takedown and Sonya getting pissy about it. Establishes Charlotte as being able to do such, too.
- Charlotte sends us to the commercial with a boot. She welcomes us back with a back suplex.
- Flair throws some lame looking chops, misses a moonsault by a mile, and then the two weren't in sync on a Deville spinebuster.
- These two are just not on the same page. Charlotte tries to to a slingshot powerbomb out of a triangle choke attempt, but almost misses the ropes with Sonya and settles for a sitdown powerbomb.
- Figure 8 gets the win. The ring rust seems to be back.
- Charlotte takes a selfie with fans, but one attacks her. It's Becky Lynch, who applies the Disarmher.
WWE Tag Title Contender Tourney
Rusev Day (w/ Lana) defeated The Bar
5.75/10
- Kofi Kingston is dressed as a white guy backstage pretending to interview the Bar. New Day are on commentary.
- Really basic, back and forth stuff early until Aiden English tags in and we see some new babyface offense -- a flying body press and a running neckbreaker where he barely touches the opponent.
- Rusev Day hit an assisted Tope Con Hilo, but back inside the ring, Sheamus bumps too early on a falling front DDT.
- We come back from a commercial to see Rusev get a hot tag and a weak pop up knee followed by a good head kick.
- Sheamus breaks up the Accolade, and Aiden English sacrifices himself to a Brogue Kick. Rusev lands a Machka Kick for the win.
- Rusev Day are ELATED.
Backstage Crappenings
- We get a really weird backstage interview where Asuka and Naomi can't understand each other. Well, then.
Andrade 'Cien' Almas (w/ Zelina) defeated R-Truth (w/ Carmella)
5/10
- A newly babyface Carmella doesn't give damn that she's note champion
- I would be incredibly unsurprised to see R-Truth beat Almas to push MMC.
- R-Truth and Almas do a floor routine that ends in a great Pele kick from Cien.
- I'd like everyone's thoughts on R-Truth wearing cargo capri pants.
- Truth seems motivated. He hits his front suplex, but gets distracted and pinned after Carmella pulls Zelina out of the ring during a Tranquilo pose.
- This is the definition of a harmless 5/10 TV match. Five minutes long, nothing really. The leap between 5-6/10 is major.
Brie Bella (w/ Daniel Bryan) defeated Maryse (w/ The Miz) via DQ
N/A
- Kayla Braxton introduces Miz & Maryse, but Miz wants the spotlight on Maryse. Maryse had a child FIVE MONTHS AGO. She's going to main event Smackdown and wrestle on PPV this week. She says as much.
- Miz calls Brie & Bryan the "sure couple," because they'll just do whatever.
- The last televised singles match Maryse had on Smackdown was an April 2009 Divas title defense against Gail Kim.
- Ahh, WWE production missed Maryse's taunt. That's the equivalent of missing Roman Reign's Superman Punch. Gaffe of the century.
- Miz calls off the match after Brie Bella calls Maryse a coward.
- Brie goes back to get Maryse and slams her on the apron.
- Maryse slugs Brie with a huge kick but falls on her face.
- Brie applies a Yes Lock and gets violently yanked out of the ring and his ass beat real proped.
- Miz throws Bryan into Brie, then throws Bryan into the stairs.
- Brie fights back and beats up Maryse, and Bryan is back throwing Yes Kicks.
- What were they thinking with all those cuts and zooms during the Yes Kicks? Do any viewers at home think that looks good?
- Brie punches Miz.
- Well, that's it.
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