Welcome to another edition of
OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN
where I report on the childhood
of Major League Baseball Players
as it relates to Macho Man Randy Savage
in this episode
RANDY WILL NOT JUST LET YOU WIN, KID
YOU'VE GOTTA EARN IT
So it came out this week that Miiwaukee Brewers rookie Brett Phillips spent his adolescence as the neighbor of Macho Man Randy Savage.
The new Major Leaguer told his story in the video linked in the Tweet below, but we have a transcription here:
"'Macho Man' was my neighbor from 7th until 11th grade before he passed away. Every day, he'd see me riding my bike home from school and he'd call me over to play basketball. You would think one of the days, one of the games, he would let up on me, but that was not the case. I got beat every time. You know how kids are always like 'One more game, one more game'? No, he was the one saying 'One more game, we're going again' and I'd be exhausted."
Now, you'd think that would be the whole story? Nothing to add to possibly make this tale more compelling or hilarious.
I mean, the idea of a retired Macho Man Randy Savage insisting on playing driveway basketball with a 14 year old, and then simply REFUSING, on general principle, to go easy on him, and then that kid growing up to be a Major League Baseball prospect, that's pretty great in and of itself, right?
WELL HOLD ON TO YOUR H-O-R-S-E-S, FOLKS.
Because this particular Major League Baseball prospect, Brett Phillips, is famous for a different reason.
He has the most INSANE laugh you've ever heard.
Check out this spring training video from a couple years ago, where pitcher Will Smith (no, not that one) tells Brett Phillips corny jokes. And wait for Phillips to laugh. You will know it by the sound of a dying asthmatic goose.
(You can watch him fail at spelling in the video at the top of the page. It's also great.)
So now I want you to imagine something with me.
That guy, as an eighth grader, laughing at Macho Man's jokes.
Macho Man: "Why can't you have a nose that's 12 inches long?"
Brett: "I dunno, why?"
Macho Man: "Because then it would be a foot!"
Brett: *has laughter seizure*
I don't know what you're going to be doing with the rest of your Wednesday, but I'm going to be picturing Randy Savage telling a kid knock-knock jokes and then that kid doing this: