PRO SERIES: Flying To México For Donuts: Sawyer Sized Sh*t

I had just completed the EVOLVE tryout, in Joppa, Maryland, that would eventually lead to me signing a WWN contract and I wanted to stick around to watch that night’s event (EVOLVE 66), but I had to make my way to Baltimore to catch a flight to Mexico City.

The plan was to arrive on Saturday morning, to allow a full day to get in, settled, relaxed, and ready, before the Chilanga Mask event that I was scheduled to wrestle on, Sunday. I was about to get reminded that, Fate don’t give 3.14 ounces of baby batter about your plans.

Like the nervous-responsible international traveler I am, I arrived at Thurgood Marshall Airport (BWI) a little before the three-hour-before-scheduled-takeoff airline recommendation; which gave me plenty of time to play Pokémon Go.

After Pokémon Going around the airport a couple times, I settled into my gate to wait and read, and wait and read I did. The flight was delayed, then delayed some more. It seemed the weather had the same attitude as the sexually-renounced Bhakti Yogi whose book I was reading: it gave zero f__ks (about my plans).

I had arrived three hours early, my flight was now six hours late. I had put in a full work day at the airport. While studying about finding deep inner peace through acceptance, I found myself getting a first hand practice-lesson.

The flight was canceled. “Okay, no worries. Plans change. At least with the re-booked flight being an early one, I’ll have a nice time cushion to relax my time-worrying mind on.”

Alas, there would be no rest for the wicked witch of which worry pours whence. Seems time gave relatively the wiggly room inside a black hole’s worth of f__ks about my plans.

The airline booked me a hotel room for the night. Trying to make the best out of a seemingly imperfect situation, I took advantage of the free stay at the BWI Hilton by partaking in their amenities: I swam in their little pool, I worked out in their little fitness area, and I took their shuttle bus to get a few miles closer (maxing out their cut off) to a Asian fusion buffet; walking the remaining few miles there.

I don’t know if it was the effort I put into getting there, or the fact that I hadn’t ate at the airport, flavoring my experience, or not, but the food at Teppanyaki Grill Buffet was delicious.

The extra weight made the hike back to the Catholic school, that I had had the shuttle driver drop me off at, a little slower, but I enjoyed taking my time and appreciating the new-to-me scenery.

I called the hotel to arrange pick up about 10 minutes before I arrived at the school, trying to account for the time it would take for the shuttle to get there. What I didn’t account for was the fact that the shuttle may be busy running other folks around. I had planned on getting to bed early. It seemed circumstances had taken a hardline stance of giving roughly the circumference of a ptiliidae’s p___y worth of f__ks about my plans.

An hour and a half of handstand and meditation practice later and I was boarding the bus back to sweet beddy-bye bliss.

A few hours of rest had me in high spirits as I shuttled my way to the airport in the wee hours of the Maryland morning.

The flight was right on time, this time.

Ah, it seemed my lesson in acceptance of whatever comes was over.

Alas, Professor Patience was on some “sit your ass back down in that desk” sh__.

I have a wrestling trip mantra that I repeat to keep myself in good humor when things go as unplanned: always an adventure.

Well, the adventure was just getting started taking a Tom Sawyer sized sh__ on my plans.

These had better be some damn good donuts.

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