Opening segment
Roman Reigns comes out and says he's the reason WWE is here right now. Paul Heyman rejects the notion that Roman Reigns will or has to defend the title in the Elimination Chamber. Heyman says Reigns will defend against whoever wins the match. Pearce says that Jey Uso and Kevin Owens are just going to get entry. Roman Reigns gets in Adam Pearce's face and says he's not worried about them, he's just worried about beating up Adam Pearce right now. I prefer qualifiers, but I'm glad Adam Pearce is explaining why people do and don't have to qualify.
Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
Sami Zayn & King Corbin defeated The Mysterios
5/10
Adam Pearce is in a panic, but Sonya Deville suggests making this tag team match a qualifier for the Elimination Chamber. Sami Zayn comes out and cuts a really long promo and is upset that he even has to qualify. Every match Dominik has had since November 23 has involved Baron Corbin. He eats the side of an announcer's table. Dominik gets his ass kicked real proper during this match, including a really nasty Blue Thunder Bomb. Dominik ends up getting beaten. I was pretty surprised by this, but Sami Zayn in the chamber would be cool.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Big E (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
5/10
Big E is interrupted by Apollo Crews in the middle of an open challenge, and tells Apollo they're done. If I were Big E, I'd do the same. That would have been Apollo's sixth Intercontinental Title shot since November. Fifth in five weeks. Nakamura came out to answer the challenge, but Apollo sticks around. He causes a DQ pretty quickly. Would like it a lot more if WWE set the precedent that winning led to title matches instead of showing up, losing, and trolling.
Father Figure
I've been begging for self righteous "changed by the miracle of life" Seth Rollins for weeks. The overbearing father. That's what happens. Everyone but Cesaro has left ringside. Seth Rollins gets pissy when he does walk away and attacks Cesaro from behind.
Bayley defeated Liv Morgan (w/ Ruby Riott)
5.25/10
Bayley and Liv Morgan is a match we should have had go a while a long time ago. Liv Morgan eats guard rail. Bayley has some great offense, and Liv Morgan sells like crazy. The ref is distracted by Billie Kay arguing with Ruby Riott and it leads to Bayley cheating for the win. Ruby Riott is mad. Why? She had just as much to do with it.
Street Profits defeated Team Alpha
5.5/10
This is a solid, friendly competitive match. I'm glad WWE looked at the Street Profits and thought "winning might help them more than trolling." Montez's frog splash continues to be incredible. Sasha Banks comes out and dances with the Street Profits after the match.
EST
Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair are face-to-face when Nia Jax and Shayna come out. Sasha and Bianca troll Nia Jax's hole and get attacked....but hurt her hole again. Sasha and Bianca Belair do a rad double team move to Shayna and run both off.
Qualifying Match
Cesaro & Daniel Bryan defeated Dirty Dawgs
6/10
A great spot early where Daniel Bryan accidentally dives onto Cesaro. The Dawgs have good double team offense, and I truly think this is the best use for them. Cesaro wins clean with a Sharpshooters, and then the heel participants all attack. Kevin Owens makes the save and tells Reigns he's coming for him, but stuns everyone but Sami Zayn. A good show with a lot of stakes.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
