GRONK
- Michael Cole and Mojo Rawley introduce Rob Gronkowski.
- Holy shit, this guy is already annoying. The music, the condescending dancing that you can tell he thinks is just him being charismatic.
- Gronk talks about being at FCW to watch Mojo when there
- Gronk's chops are actually pretty solid.
- King Corbin comes out and runs his gimmick. It's bad. "Get on your knees," "bow to the king."
- Corbin doesn't think Gronk is cut out for this.
- Elias interrupts Corbin. He sings about Gronk beating up Corbin.
- "Best heel in the business" falls for the ol' table shove.
- Elias throws Corbin over the top rope, and Gronk wants to see Elias vs. King Corbin at WrestleMania.
- I don't think we need a ninth singles match, but here we are.
Daniel Bryan & Drew Gulak defeated The Artists Collective
5.75/10
- The Artists Collective is the new name for this group.
- Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak practicing pummeling for underhooks killed me.
- Cesaro highlights with a catching tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and pop-up uppercut.
- Bryan hit a suicide dive early in the match and gets the win with a flying somersault sunset flip.
- This was solid. Gulak and Bryan could help patch a big void left by Revival in an already good Smackdown tag team division.
- Sami Zayn is upset that Bryan is listening to Gulak backstage. Bryan challenges Zayn to an Intercontinental Title match at WrestleMania.
- If Drew Gulak beats Shinsuke Nakamura next week, Bryan will get the title shot. Bryan immediately agrees.
Bayley's opponent
- Bayley and Sasha Banks interrupt Michael Cole and Paige (via skype).
- Bayley makes fun of Paige's accent, which was actually kind of funny.
- They also make fun of Paige for her career being over. Paige gets to announce Bayley's Mania match.
- Lacey Evans, Dana Brooke, Tamina, Naomi, Sasha Banks are facing Bayley.
- What the hell is Tamina doing in there?
- The obligatory "BITCH" in a women's promo.
- Sasha leaves.
- They're doing 200000000000000000 singles matches at Mania, and Bayley vs. Sasha can't be one of them?
BACKSTAGE HAPPENINGS
- Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross aren't happy. Alexa challenges Asuka to a match on Smackdown next week.
- We are shown the full Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena match.
Miz & Morrison defeated Heavy Machinery via DQ
5/10
Angle 7/10
- Dirt Sheet sees Miz and Morrison impersonating New Day, Usos and Heavy Machinery.
- This sucked ass.
- Heavy Machinery come out for their match.
- Tag matches really are the best use for John Morrison.
- Miz and Morrison are off beat for their chant.
- There's a catapult punch that was really bad. Maybe don't try that on someone 100 pounds heavier than you.
- Dolph Ziggler's music hits and Otis is distracted.
- Tucker hangs on through the commercial and does a double suplex.
- We see the GLITCH again.
- Dolph distracts Otis during the mid-Caterpillar. He shows Otis some pictures of he and Mandy and trolls him.
- Otis goes after Ziggler but Miz & Morrison come to his aid.
- Otis loses is and smashes both men into stairs, posts, tables. This is great stuff.
- Otis drives the champs through the barricade.
- Tucker pleads with Otis to not use a chair and get them DQ'd. Otis does, and they lose.
- Otis and Tucker were both so good here. Tucker hugs Otis to calm him down.
Contract signing
- Goldberg and Roman Reigns throw their chairs out of the ring.
- Goldberg says he was hoping Reigns would take the challenge but didn't think he had the balls.
- Reigns calls Goldberg a bitch bulldog in his yard holding a title he didn't earn.
- Goldberg says he's been destroying doors with that headbutt for years and Reigns will be the next victim.
- Reigns was good, Goldberg was wack here. Shocker.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!