Intro
Drew McIntyre comes out, wanting MVP. He says he'll get retibution on Mace and T-Bar and wonders who will wear what moving forward. MVP dances around it, before saying they have no affiliation with The Hurt Business.Mace and T-Bar attack and double chokeslam him. I forgot how terrible their Drowning Pool ripoff theme was. What in the shitting fuck are they talking about backstage? They bring up sabretooth tigers being extinct, and say they'll do that to Drew McIntyre. Drew wants to fight both, but Adam Pearce says he needs a partner. Bobby Lashley is not on the show tonight at all.
Viking Raiders defeated Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin
5.75/10
Why are we watching this match again? It took 17 minutes into Raw to see four supremely talented performers but to be deflated by the lazy creative direction. The action is fantastic, I'm just not sure how anybody can be arsed to care about the ramifications. The tag champs weren't even mentioned on last week's show. Shelton and Cedric look really motivated, as do the Viking Raiders. Motivation isn't enough to get Cedric and Shelton the win, and the same exact finish as last week happens -- a Viking Express on Cedric Alexander.
Riddle defeated Randy Orton
6.5/10
Randy Orton says The Fiend will never be back. Riddle shows up and drives around Orton and pitches the idea of an RKBRO tag team, but Orton walks away. Randy Orton wants Riddle in a match tonight. Randy Orton vs. Riddle sounds like fun. Randy Orton not knowing who he is makes it even better.
Riddle puts Orton into a sleeper four different times until Orton rolls out of the ring and Singh Bombs Riddle. Riddle's great selling leads to a lot of his matches consisting of him getting the living shit kicked out of him. He does a nice overhead kick that Orton sells to perfection. Orton does a superplex, and Riddle catches him in a rope hung triangle. This match is just a blast. Riddle shocks Orton with a crucifix pin. They probably shouldn't have had Riddle get pinned four times since the start of March if they were going this route. Fortunately we're gonna get to see Riddle vs. Orton five more times now!
Lana & Naomi defeated Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax
2.5/10
This is the 14th match featuring Lana or Naomi against Shayna and/or Nia since September. Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke come out and run the video of Nia falling down. Shayna just holding Lana in an arm scissors the entire time these videos are playing lol. Nia chases, and Shayna gets pinned with a bad looking double facebuster. Poor Shayna Baszler getting booked like this. Here comes match number 15. This match ended a 12-match winning streak of Nia & Shayna in two-on-two matches. However, they lost 13 other matches during that period, and had 2 no contests. This is one of the most abysmally laid out things I've seen.
Backstage Mandy and Dana explain why Nia is actually petty and they're not. Who cares? Fight or something. Nia runs them off and Shayna tells her to get her head in the game. Or ELSE. Or else what? She'll have to roll Shayna up in three minutes like everyone else? Angel Garza shows up and tells Nia he doesn't know why she hangs out with Shayna.
Elias (w/ Jaxson Ryker) defeated Kofi Kingston (w/ Xavier Woods)
5.25/10
Riddle and New Day have a funny little skit backstage, but Xavier Woods interrupts Elias in the ring with the bass. Kofi using the Thesz Press after Xavier Woods plays the Steve Austin theme on bass guitar. New Day do everything they can to make every angle they're involved in as entertaining as possible. Elias and Kofi aren't on the same page on the SOS, but it actually made it look better. Elias pins Kofi Kingston with a flying elbow drop. I'm just happy we got another clean win there.
Other Happenings
I can't be arsed to care about this Alexa Bliss - Lily stuff, but I have to cover it. So Alexa Bliss says some things that abolutely won't matter in the long run.
Drew McIntyre defeated Retribution (Mace & T-Bar) via DQ
4.25/10 for the finish
Drew McIntyre and T-Bar wrestle a Sirloin Beef Sunsabitches match until Mace comes in and they call a DQ. Braun Strowman makes the save. Haha are they gonna make this a tag match now? Why didn't Braun just come down before if he wanted that? Was he having a sub backstage or something?
Retribution (Mace & T-Bar) defeated Drew McIntyre & Braun Strowman via DQ
4/10 for the finish
10/10 for getting rid of the masks (teehee)
Yep, they do just that. This isn't pretty when Braun is in the match, and he actually gets worked over quite a bit. Drew rips off Mace's mask, Braun rips off T-Bar's and they slap each guy with them. They got DQ'd along the way. Commentary has to pretend we've never seen these guys before.
Damian Priest defeated The Miz (w/ Maryse)
4.75/10
Miz and Maryse have a big celebration and kiss, but Damian Priest comes out. Ah they wedged in a Jake Paul reference. Maryse gives him a match with the Miz, and Miz throws a drink on him.
I don't think that getting worked over by The Miz and distracted by Maryse is something I'd have Damian Priest do. I'll never understand booking the big, badass babyface to get worked over 80 percent of the match weekly but I'm not the one making the decisions here, pal. Priest wins.
Sheamus
Sheamus issues his open challenge and.....Humberto Carrillo answers. Sheamus beats the living shit out of Humberto and Brogue KICKS him. We'll see this next week. Sheamus needs some stuff like that. That was good for him.
Asuka defeated Charlotte Flair
3.75/10
Charlotte Flair says she respects but doesn't like Asuka. Asuka comes out, followed by Rhea Ripley. Charlotte keeps cutting off Asuka, and Asuka screams at her and calls her a bitch. Rhea Ripley is back in full "heh heh heh" mode.
Asuka has not been having good matches of late. I don't know if that's on her or the opponent, but we're looking at three over the course of eight days and it's difficult to ignore. They completely whiffed on a codebreaker. Charlotte Flair has a Figure Eight on and Rhea breaks it up. Charlotte IS DISTRACTED and pinned. WOOF.
Charlotte Flair beats the hell out of a referee after the match, and other officials come to help.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
