Intro segment
- Asuka comes out, but she's immediately interrupted by Sasha Banks and Bayley.
- They brag about winning the tag team titles and the fact that they can go to any brand they want.
- Charlotte Flair interrupts, because this is a lazy, shitty, paint-by-numbers promo that lacks any real motivation for a bunch of the most talented performers in the company.
- The IIconics interrupt as well. Everyone argues amongst themselves and throw out zingers that don't really zing.
- They're all six so much better than this. A brawl breaks out, and it's clear what we're going to get here. TAG TEAM MATCH!
Asuka & Charlotte Flair defeated The IIconics and Boss N' Hug Connection
6/10
- Yep, that's what happens. Sasha Banks and Peyton Royce work really well together, as do Billie and Bayley, but Billie seems like she would make a really good straight up comedic act.
- Asuka pretty much shows up Charlotte with a hot tag that transcended the screen and lack of real crowd.
- Charlotte and Asuka are tagging each other in aggressively, and they implode.
- Charlotte goes to the top rope, but Asuka steals the win by submitting Billie Kay.
- Okay, so why shouldn't Asuka & Charlotte Flair be in this tag title match now.
- This was a lot of fun, but I'm not sure right now why Charlotte and Asuka needed to win.
THE MESSIAH
- Seth Rollins takes Byron Saxton's spot in the booth, so is he a babyface now? HEHEHEHHEH.
- Rey Mysterio calls Rollins a son of a bitch.
- Mysterio says that the prognosis is promising, but he's not sure what the future holds.
- He isn't sure when he's cleared, but he says when he gets Rollins in the ring, he's going to do a 619 immediately.
- This was a very bad promo.
- Seth Rollins invites Rey and Dominick to Raw next week.
- That shot of Aleister Black was AMAZING! He came out of nowhere and jumped the table to take out Rollins.
Aleister Black & Humberto Carrillo defeated The Disciples
5.25/10 (Short)
- Murphy and Aleister Black have some of the best chemistry in all of wrestling.
- Black counters a Murphy's Law and goes into a combo that ends in a moonsault.
- Black helps Humberto do a suicide dive.
- Black Mass. That's a wrap.
- Rollins comes out to Rey Mysterio's theme and in a mask to distract the faces.
- A beatdown ensues, and Murphy's Law is hit on Black.
Peep Show
- Randy Orton indicates that he might be on the Peep Show tonight, too.
- Christian tells Edge that he thinks he's running on fumes and probably wasn't capable of the greatest wrestling match ever in his prime.
- Edge is angry. It's hard for me to get behind a promo about Edge self-doubting that he can live up to the "greatest wrestling match of all-time" moniker that should have never been imposed to begin with.
- Christian says that if Adam is showing up instead of Edge, he needs to go home. He brings up Edge's mother, and says she'll be there in spirit.
- Randy Orton is tired of hearing everything, and he's going to send Edge back home to his wife and kids, and Edge's redemption will be over.
- Really good promo work.
Decathlon
- They end up not sword fighting because it's too dangerous.
- Montez beats Ivar in the 1600m.
- Angelo Dawkins shoots a very bad actor in the foot during archery.
- Street Profits win flip cup.
- Viking Raiders don't know how to do hurdles, and lose.
- There's stick fighting, a dance off where Montez dances to HBK's theme, and Ivar dances to Fandango's.
- This is edited together so poorly that the teams are facing an uphill battle. I'd bet the outtakes or a longer cut would be way better considering the ingredients involved.
- Eating competition, pole vault.
Top Contender For United States Title
Andrade defeated Angel Garza and Kevin Owens
6.5/10
- Andrade and Garza interrupt a bad promo from Apollo Crews, but then Kevin Owens attacks them.
- Owens has fight in him, but he's getting double teamed all along the way. When Garza or Andrade pin, the other one breaks it up. It's playful at first, then gets aggressive.
- Andrade sends Garza into the plexiglass, and they knock over Zelina fighting.
- We come back to Owens and Garza battling in the ring before Andrade rejoins. Zelina has been taken to the back.
- Owens does a Bam Bam Bomb on Andrade to the leg of Garza. It looked rough.
- A match with stakes helps so much.
- Owens does the Bullfrog splash for 2 on Andrade. Andrade answers with a great spinning back elbow.
- Garza hits a breathtaking missile dropkick on Owens.
- Andrade and Garza are going at it. Owens hits both with a tope con hilo.
- Owens hits Garza with a Stunner, but Andrade steals the pin.
- Andrade will take on Apollo Crews for the third straight month in singles action this Sunday.
- Andrade and Garza are arguing backstage. Zelina scolds both of them.
VIP Lounge
- Drew is backstage with VIking Raiders. WWE has taken them from a super over tag team that was getting great ovations and made them Highlanders, but better in the ring.
- Backstage, MVP is talking about Lashley's full nelson.
- R-Truth is around hiding from 24/7 challengers.
- Lashley lays him out with a full nelson.
- Bobby Lashley should have brought a ref.
- MVP introduces a supreme athlete with the most devastating finishing move.....and Drew McIntyre interrupts him and says that's his intro
Bobby Lashley & MVP defeated Viking Raiders (w/ Drew McIntyre & Street Profits)
5/10
- Drew McIntyre is about to attack MVP and Lashley shows up.
-
There's not a lot to this match, but Street Profits are watching at ringside.
Ivar gets a hot tag and suicide dives MVP and Lashley when they're talking trash to Street Profits.
- Lana says MVP is leeching off of her Bobby, but she respects his wishes. She says she's focusing on her Bobby more than her own career. She wants to make 2020 the year of Lana.
- I assume Viking Raiders are the top contenders since they've been in segments with the tag champs for two months, so two sets of top contenders beaten this week on Raw.
- Lashley ends up hitting the full nelson on Ivar as well. Street Profits go to pull him off, and Drew hits a Claymore
Charlotte Flair defeated Asuka
7/10
- Charlotte is complaining about Asuka as Asuka dances onto the screen. Charlotte asks if she takes anything seriously and gets slapped.
- As is tradition, these two have a fantastic opening spot.
- Bayley and Sasha are on commentary and they're hilarious.
- Charlotte boots Asuka off the top rope.
- IIconics attack Sasha and Bayley and do the Fall From Grace onto Bayley on the announcer's table.
- Back and forth, PPV quality action between these two.
- The Charlotte big boot on the apron is amazing.
- Charlotte moonsaults off the barricade, then works Asuka's leg.
- Charlotte spears Asuka after a great back and forth, but it's a two count.
- Nia Jax distracts Asuka, and Charlotte wins with the big boot
- Woo boy! Nothing gets me pumped for a championship match like the people in it losing six days before yeahhhh boy!
- This would have been 8/10 if not for the fuck finish.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
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