Call Your Shot Battle Royal
Eddie Edwards wins
- There were some issues with the feed early on, and we start off seeing Reno SCUM, Eddie Edwards, and Cousin Jake.
- Joey Ryan is in the Call Your Shot Battle Royal. He gets the biggest pop so far. The graphic says Cody Deaner. He dick flips the whole field. Only he, Edwards, Reno Scum survive.
- Jessicka Havoc comes in and chokeslams Ryan. Rosemary is next. I think Rosemary will be over forever in Impact.
- Mad Man Fulton is in now. He throws out Rosemary and Havoc, and Ryan is next.
- Cody Deaner is the newest entrant and Fulton victim via an apron choke slam.
- Johnny Swinger is out next to crickets, but is in great shape.
- I hope Jordynne Grace eliminates the field. She German Suplexes Fulton with the help of Eddie Edwards.
- Hornswoggle, the KING OF SMALL STYLE is here. He chases Swinger into the ring and German Suplexes him before Grace eliminates Swinger.
- Kiera Hogan is next out and twerks in front of Swoggle. A lot of twerking as a taunt in IMPACT these days. She's tossed out by Grace.
- Raj Singh is next, and gets booed for attacking Swoggle.
- Tommy Dreamer is in this because of course he is.
- Kylie Rae is out looking like a million bucks, but comes up short on some superkicks, but the crowd is still happy to see her.
- Madman Fulton tosses a couple more people, but Fallah Bahh comes out and everyone attacks Fulton.
- Sabu is next and throws a chair at everyone.
- Ah god dammit. I forgot Shera was in this. He eliminates Grace and Kylie. Sabu is next.
- Shera is a lot better than he used to be, but he just does clotheslines and is working as a heel so that goes a long way.
- Fulton and Shera are going at it, but nobody really seems to be arsed.
- Eddie Edwards eliminates Fulton, and attacks Edwards.
- Shera still sucks. Eats a Boston Knee Party and Eddie Edwards wins.
- There's a whole lot I like and a whole lot I don't like about this battle royal. A real mixed bag for me.
IMPACT Wrestling Knockouts Champion
Taya (c) (w/ Johnny Bravo) defeated Tenille Dashwood
- The drumming during this match is real goddamn annoying.
- Callis calls Taya "close to six feet tall." But she's about 5-8, which is nowhere near it. Either way, her work is real good.
- Tenille does a great rope hung neckbreaker.
- A really great series unfolds after a Tenille tilt-a-whirl armbar. She goes into the Tarantula, but Taya gets the double knees after a roll up into the buckles. In the opposite corner, Tenille hits a sitdown powerbomb.
- Tenille's elbows used to look like they hit oddly, but she's refined them a lot.
- Oh my god that was a hideous package piledriver on the apron by Taya. That just DID NOT WORK.
- Tenille yanks Taya into the buckles and hits two Emma Sandwiches and the Spotlight, but Johnny Bravo helps Taya out.
- He gets ejected, but tosses Taya a chain. Tenille throws it out, and eats Road To Valhalla. Taya wins.
IMPACT Tag Team Championships
The North (c) defeated Rich Swann & Willie Mack and RVD & Rhino
- The ring is mic'd REALLY LOUD. When you do that, every step, every pivot makes a lot of noise.
- Rough spot with Ethan Page an Rich Swann early.
- I really like The North's double team Blue Thunder Bomb
- Ethan Page did a back body drop on Rich Swann that made him do a 450 face plant.
- Obligatory Willie Mack is amazing comment. His hot tag is nothing short of awesome. He does a great dive, too.
- RVD's best use in wrestling in years has been as a tag team wrestler.
- Page press slams Rich Swann of the top rope!! He follows with a Swanton.
- ROB VAN DAM TURNS ON RHINO!! He's throwing stiff kicks all around.
- The North hit their incredible finish on Swann for the win.
Michael Elgin defeated Naomichi Marufuji
- This is a real change of pace from the rest of the card. Very hard hitting, but Elgin mixes in a dive early.
- They're throwing, suplexing and clubbing one another all over the place. This really is a Japan style match.
- The interesting thing is even the crowd is treating it like a Japanese match, even from the reactions, pops and clapping.
- There are some real sloppy spots (a Sliced Bread on the floor) and awkward landings.
- These guys are hitting wild dives and eating it HARD.
- Elgin slugs away and almost gets the win with a Splash Mountain Bomb. There's another with an even closer nearfall.
- This has been good, and the crowd reaction is nice, but not what it should be for this one.
- Burning Hammer wins it.
Ace Austin defeated Jake Crist, Tessa Blanchard, Daga and Acey Romero
- Don Callis just called Ace Austin "The Cuckmaker"
- Tessa Blanchard hits a cutter on Crist and a dive to boot. Austin follows with a Space Flying Tiger Drop.
- Daga dives over Romero onto the other fellas and Crist has had his ass kicked consistently.
- Romero dives right into a ladder shot. Back in the ring he hits Daga with a Pounce.
- This match really highlights how poorly the show is lit.
- Tower of Doom. Another dove cries.
- Romero wisely goes up two ladders, but eats a super cutter.
- This match has been way slower paced than it's really needed to be.
- OH MY GOD THAT WAS INSANE. A CANADIAN DESTROYER OVER THE TOP ROPE INTO THE BRIDGED LADDER. Commentary called it like a nice shoulder block.
- That Ace Romero spot MY GOD. Commentary WAS all over that one. WOW! He went off the ladder through the table outside.
- Tessa is ready to win, but OVE run in. She ranas Fulton into the ladder, tosses Crist off the ladder through the table.
- Ace Austin hits Tessa with a stick and wins the match.
Moose (w/ Frank Trigg) defeated Ken Shamrock 5/10
- This is really sloppy early on. Shamrock looks good physical shape, but you know why.
- Moose just saved Ken Shamrock's goddamn life on that dive. THAT WAS INSANE.
- Shamrock does a slingshot plancha.
- Trigg grabs his leg, and then Moose goes at Shamrock's leg. Trigg then exposes the turnbuckle.
- Shamrock applies an ankle lock, but the ref is out. Shamrock then gets punched in the penile area.
- Shamrock back body drops Moose into the buckle and applies an Ankle Lock.
- Not a great crowd reaction for this one, but Moose is doing everything he can.
- Shamrock, ever the dumb babyface, lets the slow as molasses Trigg distract him.
- Moose is working his ass off. Selling hard. He misses a run-up moonsault, which isn't put over by commentary much at all.
- Ken Shamrock eats steel turnbuckle. Moose wins.
- Moose was great, Shamrock did more than what he could. This was just clunky and overbooked.
IMPACT World Championship
Brian Cage (c) defeated Sami Callihan
- Already a "holy shit" call on commentary, and a "fuck you bitch."
- Callihan is bleeding and Cage uses the claw gimmick on him.
- The crowd is behind Callihan. Cage is beating his ass.
- Callihan gets sent through a table that doesn't break, so again he goes.
- For the criticism I've given Callis throughout the show, he's on his game here.
- Callihan grabs Cage's nuts and Cactus Jack piledrives him through a barricade.
- I have always loved Cage's reverse Pumphandle slam.
- Callihan caught Cage with a perfect short Death Valley Driver.
- I totally loathe the "_______ IS YOUR WORLD CHAMPION- NO" calls. It either telegraphs it, or makes it anticlimactic, or both. It's almost never good.
- Callihan piledrives Cage on thumb tacks for a one count. Cage is lit.
- Drill Claw on the tacks wins it for Cage.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!For additional premium podcasts, the Fightful Weekender podcast, members only podcasts, outtake and behind the scenes footage, retro shows, Q&A shows, dark match commentary, early access to interviews and segments, subscribe to Fightful Select! www.FightfulSelect.com