BROTHERS
- Roman Reigns comes out and says last week was the comeback, and this week he takes his yard back. Reigns brings out Rollins to a giant pop, and says he's the only thing in the way of what he wants.
- Rollins says that he's going to take the motivation from Reigns and use it to slay the Beast at WrestleMania, but is willing to let Reigns back in the match.
- Reigns says he doesn't want that, he wants to get the band back together. Rollins doesn't want to, but Reigns gives a speech about tomorrow not being promised.
- Ambrose's contract was brought up, which was good.
- Seth agrees to a giant pop. Ambrose comes out to a bigger one.
- Elias cracks Ambrose across the back with a guitar.
- About an hour later, Ambrose finds Reigns in the goddamn boiler room. Well ok. Nothing was done here.
- Rollins finds Ambrose later and says brothers fight and that they are wrestling SOULMATES. Ambrose says he's preoccupied and can't reform the Shield.
Bobby Lashley, Baron Corbin & Drew McIntyre (w/ Lio Rush) defeated Finn Balor, Kurt Angle & Braun Strowman
5.5/10
- Backstage, Lio Rush, Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre and Lashley are interviewed backstage and crap on The Shield, Angle, Balor and more.
- Strowman choke shoves Corbin over the rope and sends him into the guardrail.
- Balor comes in and gets good offense, but Lio interferes, which slows Balor down. He's beaten up for a good five minutes through the break.
- A Kurt Angle hot tag gets the crowd going, but he's quickly cut off and.......beaten up through the break.
- Another hot tag happens, with Braun Strowman and Finn Balor hitting their finishes.
- Lio Rush yanks Balor out, and Braun runs around the ring. He MOWS DOWN Lio after Lashley moved.
- Lashley hits that terrible looking flipping spear to win.
- Whatever heat Lio Rush had before tonight needs to be gone after that. He got destroyed.
- The heels (sans Lio) beat up Balor really bad, chokeslamming him onto steel stairs.
- They have to book heat heavy after jobbing out all the heels in the first month of the NEW FAN FRIENDLY ERA.
Backstage crappenings
- Today I learned Colin Jost wears regular clothes. He and Michael Che are backstage with Stephanie McMahon. Che babyfaces, Jost heels. Watching people get irrationally upset over SNL on WWE was fun. They're going to be WrestleMania correspondents.
- They run into EC3, Titus O'Neil and No Way Jose backstage. Colin doesn't know modern day wrestlers.
- Colin offers to go to the bathroom with Che to watch his back. Braun gets in Colin's face when he asks if it's real.
- They seem awfully keen on breaking the fourth wall.
Natalya defeated Ruby Riott (w/ Riott Squad)
Squash (kinda)
- Chinlock from Ruby, Sharpshooter by Natalya. Small package and reversal. That's the whole match.
- Lacey Evans comes out and walks around and leaves. Future Mania Battle Royal Winner Lacey Evans.
TRIPLE H
- We see Batista from an Instagram post saying that he won't be there tonight.
- Triple H says last week was about Richard Fleihr, not Ric Flair. He's been there for Ric when he almost died and when his son did.
- Triple H says whenever Batista feels like he doesn't get respect or what he wants, he quits, and this time he couldn't quit so he beat up a 70 year old man.
- Triple H is gonna track down Batista. "THIS AIN'T ABOUT CHARACTERS" got over like a fart in church.
Gauntlet Match
Heavy Machinery defeated B-Team, The Ascension and the Major Brothers
- Charly Caruso shows Heavy Machinery videos of The Ascension, B-Team and Major Brothers talking shit about them. This was really terrible. Otis' feelings are hurt. This is straight up stupid.
- Giving away a WRESTLEMANIA WORTHY tag gauntlet match on Raw.
- Axel flosses, then gets beaten up. They make him DDT Bo then hit a Compactor to win.
- The Ascension are next up, and they put the clubberin on Tucker. He takes a bump off a whip to the buckle.
- Konnor posts himself, Viktor gets run through and pinned.
- There is no heat in Philly for this.
- Hawkins and Ryder/The Major Brothers are next and try to take advantage. They utilize a lot of fast attacks and double team moves.
- Otis does a pop up front powerslam on Hawkins and wins with the Caterpillar.
- NO HEAT.
Elias defeated Dean Ambrose
5.5/10
- Elias trolls Philly about their hockey team.
- They go at pretty fast to start off, then it's commercial time. Yeehaw. Every time.
- We come back to some back and forth before Ambrose gains control.
- Ambrose's back gives out climbing to the top rope.
- Ambrose eats a HUGE knee to the face and Drift Away. Elias wins.
- Rollins and Reigns come out in time for....another commercial. Ambrose leaves through the crowd.
- Corbin's music hits and Lashley & Drew are with him. They all troll The Shield.
- The heels attack, and Ambrose makes the save.
- It wouldn't be a Shield reunion without CAMERA CUT CAMERA CUT CAMERA CUT ZOOM ZOOM.
- The Shield is back together for the fourth time.
Tamina (w/ Nia Jax) defeated Sasha Banks (w/ Bayley)
4.75/10
- Tamina runs through Sasha Banks.
- Tamina hilariously misses a headbutt and eats a knee to the face.
- This was Tamina's first singles televised win since November 12 against Ember Moon.
- Banks Statement is applied, but she has to Meteora Nia when she attacks Bayley.
- Nia grabs Sasha's foot so Tamina can hit a rough looking superkick for the win.
Raw Tag Team Championships
The Revival (c) defeated Ricochet & Aleister Black via DQ
5.5/10
- Black & Ricochet have a really wack promo at Gorilla.
- Dawson has a great leg drop and elbow drop.
- Roode and Gable come out to ringside.
- After a break a big Ricochet right flattens Dawson. A running headscissors takes him out of the ring.
- Roode & Gable attack The Revival for the DQ.
- Roode and Gable go after Ricochet and Black, but get run off.
Raw Women's Title
- Stephanie McMahon is interviewed backstage about Rousey laying the title down.
- Becky Lynch's suspension is lifted and has to sign a hold harmless agreement after charges were dropped.
- The title being vacated got no pop. Lynch vs. Charlotte is taking place for the vacant title at Fastlane.
- Charlotte is interviewed and says she'll put Becky Lynch on the shelf for good, because she's a one legged woman in an ass kicking contest.
- The hilarity of two Smackdown wrestlers being booked to compete for the vacant Raw title.
- Stephanie McMahon brings out Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch.
- Becky is here to sign a Hold Harmless Agreement. She does it, and Ronda Rousey is here.
- Ronda Rousey is here, and grabs her title back.
- Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte will determine if Becky Lynch gets into the WrestleMania match.
- Ronda Rousey goes off and cuts a heel promo and says she's done pleasing the crowd. This is as good as it gets for Rousey.
- Rousey attacks Charlotte Flair and Becky, and puts Becky Lynch in an armbar.
- There are some stiff shots being thrown at Becky and another armbar applied. Rousey is pummeling Becky.
- Imagine how good that Rousey ass kicking would have looked had we actually seen it.
- That went way way way short.
- Stephanie McMahon has to kill time backstage with an interview.
Rating guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
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