Cena is back
- It's good to see Cena on Raw again -- and a nice pop, too. He's not had a match in six months for the first time in ages.
- He jokes about everyone finally being nice to him.
- He brings up all the people that will be on Raw tonight and says WWE and Tampa are both home.
- He apologizes for not being around as much but says he's as excited to be there as ever.
- The Usos come out and encourage Cena to rap. He doesn't want to, but ends up throwing a line about Usos getting arrested.
- They bring out Rikishi, who wants Cena to come back. I'm not sure what they're teasing, but they're interrupted by The Revival and D-Von Dudley. Booker T is on commentary.
The Usos (w/ Rikishi) defeated The Revival (w/ D-Von Dudley)
- As much as I like these teams, we did not need this match again.
- This is the ninth match involving these two teams against each other in the last couple of months.
- You know the spots, you know the work, it's good. The standard stuff changes when Jimmy gets pushed off the top rope into the barricade.
- Oh thank Jesus we have picture in picture commercials now instead of awkward re-starts and two out of three falls matches.
- Dawson pushes Dash out of the way and eats a body press, sacrificing himself. This is good tag team work.
- D-Von and Rikishi face off, and Dawson is going off on Rikishi. Stupid wrestler syndrome.
- The Usos capitalize off the distraction and beat the tag team champions. Well, okay. That's cool.
- Alicia Fox is backstage with Dana Brooke and Kaitlyn looking at her hat. Then the latter two just DISAPPEAR when Torrie Wilson shows up. Santino shows up with his Cobra. Drew McIntyre is next to appear, intimidating them.
- Mike Kanellis is talking to Eve Torres backstage and Maria goes off. Jimmy Hart, Jillian Hall, and some of the aforementioned names are back there. Eric Bischoff is recruiting people to Smackdown. Ron Simmons shows up and says DAMN in the megaphone.
- Sami Zayn goes off on Charly Caruso for interviewing legends, and says they aren't really legends. Rey Mysterio confronts him, but Kurt Angle breaks it up and suggests they have a match.
- Angelo Dawkins is implying he smoked weed with Rob Van Dam. This was by far The Street Profits' best appearance on main roster.
WWE 24/7 Championship
Drake Maverick (w/ Renee Michelle) defeated R-Truth (c) (w/ Carmella) to become champion
Pat Patterson defeated Drake Maverick (c) to become champion
Gerald Brisco defeated Pat Patterson (c) to become Champion
Kelly Kelly defeated Gerald Brisco (c) to become champion
Candice Michelle defeated Kelly Kelly (c) to become champion (special ref: Melina)
Alundra Blaze defeated Candice Michelle (c) to become champion (special ref: Melina)
Ted Dibiase buys the title from Alundra Blaze (c) to become champion
Drake Maverick (w/ Renee Michelle) defeated Ted Dibiase (c) to become champion
R-Truth (w/ Carmella) defeated Drake Maverick (c) (w/ Renee Michelle) to become champion
- R-Truth's week is recapped, including the Hurricane's attempt.
- Renee Michelle shows up and goes off on Truth and doesn't say words correctly. Maverick rolls up Truth and wins.
- The Godfather shows up and can't say 'ho train.'
- Drake is running away and runs into the Boogeyman and his worms in the locker room.
- Pat Patterson shows up wins the 24/7 Championship. AMAZING.
- Gerald Brisco is seen standing over Pat Patterson, winning the 24/7 title.
- The GOAT Kelly Kelly is the first female WWE 24/7 Champion via a nutshot. She sees Candice Michelle, Melina and Naomi backstage. Melina is now a ref and counts for Candice Michelle.
- Madusa shows up and chokes Candice out for the win. Oh boy. She then cut a bad, terrible promo that should have been pre-taped.
- I hope Madusa throws the title in the trash can and Jim Duggan the Janitor finds it and only ten of you will get this because nobody watched WCW Saturday Night.
- Well, she does try. But Ted Dibiase buys it from her. So many of these people completely lost their promo ability.
- Dibiase gets in the limo, but Drake Maverick has beaten Dibiase. Renee Michelle isn't too happy. They later run by Mick Foley.
- Drake Maverick gets rolled up getting into the limo by R-Truth, who jumps in the limo with Renee Michelle and leaves.
- 34 minutes into Raw and this is going to be the third rematch. If it actually happens.
- Drew attacks before the bell, but Cedric fights back.
- We get some of the worst shaky cam in recent memory.
- McIntyre destroys Cedric outside with the Bammaslamma on the apron. Cedric took this insane.
Viking Raiders defeated Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder
- Ryder and Hawkins are gonna die.
- Christian is on commentary and seems a little flustered, but man I miss him. Lilian Garcia is doing ring announcing
- Hawkins and Ryder get a little bit of offense, but are crushed easily. Ivar shows off some of his agility here.
Roman Reigns defeated Samoa Joe
- Samoa Joe is out and isn't happy about all the nostalgia going on and trashes The Usos and Rikishi for dancing.
- This brings out Roman Reigns, who isn't happy about Joe talking about his family. Reigns says Joe is from the same island and knows what happens next.
- I like the short and sweet Roman Reigns promo. Joe attacks and beats down Reigns.
- Reigns comes back with a superman punch. I get the feeling this is to set up a match.
- I'm all for this happening, but I don't know why it couldn't have been on Smackdown.
- Weird that they killed so much time for this.
- Joe is really working over Reigns well. Methodical. There's been some really good camera work at points of this match.
- Joe does a nice dive, but gets hit with a Drive By his next time.
- Reigns gets out of the Coquina Clutch and hits a spear. Solid match. Should have been at Smackdown. These two guys should have been at the Smackdown live event.
- Kevin Owens at a house show instead of Raw, meanwhile Joe and Reigns have a standalone match on Raw when they would have been a lot more valuable at that live event.
- Miz comes out and promotes his show.
- Seth Rollins is out and we see a video recap..
- Rollins makes fun of Brock's appearance and calls him a Seth Rollins wannabe.
- Heyman is in Gorilla and cuts a promo on Rollins. Seth says he's gonna beat up Heyman. Heyman runs off.
- Rollins is facing AJ Styles tonight
Rey Mysterio defeated Sami Zayn
- Commentary is just talking about the WWE 24/7 title.
- Zayn hits an outstanding Blue Thunder Bomb.
- Zayn tries to run from a 619.
- RVD, Sgt. Slaughter, Hurricane and Kurt Angle run Zayn back in.
- Mysterio wins with a Five Star Frog Splash. This show is weird.
- Considering Rhino appeared for Impact under a mask while still under WWE contract, I get the feeling the RVD conversation one was a smooth one.
Seth Rollins vs. AJ Styles (w/ The Club)
- The Club cuts a funny promo backstage and say they're the original Club. Well, Anderson and Gallows are.
- AJ Styles bounces Rollins out of the ring, and The Club swarms, but DX shows up to help.
- MY GOD, THEY DIDN'T TOUCH DURING THE BREAK. As soon as they're back, they slug it out.
- Rollins does a great flying knee, but The Club interferes.
- The Club puts up the Too Sweet, but DX attacks.
- Club gets chairs, but Road Dogg, Sean Waltman, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall all come out and Road Dogg cuts a promo.
- Mick Foley is cutting a promo and gets a cheap pop.
- He shows a video of his title win, but the lights go black.
- It's Bray Wyatt. He uses the Mandible Claw on Foley. I LOVE that.
- Boys and girls I LOVE Bray Wyatt using the Mandible Claw. If these moves aren't being used anymore, pass em' down. That was good.
Moment of Bliss
- Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross are out and intro Becky Lynch.
- Natalya immediately follows and I guess they're trying to make her a heel again. She turns a lot.
- Becky Lynch cuts a great promo about Natalya offering to help Ronda Rousey train, and calls the red belt Rousey's scalp.
- They brawl.
- Natalya says backstage that she helped build the women's revolution, not Becky Lynch. Natalya was flustered, but honestly this felt good and sincere.
Braun Strowman defeated Randy Rowe
- Braun Strowman heaves his opponent.
- Big Boot.
- Huge slambomb whambomb kebab.
- All the legends come out to the stage.
- Hulk Hogan can piss off, really. Ric Flair is out there with him.
- Stone Cold's music hits to a big ass pop.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin and Rob Van Dam never had a one on one PPV match and program and that's sad.
- Steve Austin cuts a promo about THE WWE FAMILY.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!