Moment of Bliss
- "And her SIDEKICK NIKKI CROSS" shit, Cole didn't even bother sugarcoating it.
- Alexa and Nikki talked through a painful celebrity crush segment.
- Jesus man, please give these girls more than "BECAUSE I'M __________ AND (catchphrase)" or "I'm going to remind everyone why (catchphrase)"
- Carmella is brought out and says Sasha Banks is the reason why she and Bayley are no longer friends.
- Bayley interrupts and trashes Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss, and says she was only friends with Carmella because she was being nice and teaching her the ropes.
- Carmella doesn't want to wait around, this match is happening now.
Smackdown Women's Championship
Bayley (c) defeated Carmella to retain
7/10
- I wonder who on Smackdown is the big fan of the heel grabbing the babyface by the jaw and screaming insults at them.
- Bayley misses a body press and gets kicked in the face, followed by the Mella go Round. Suicide dive and body press follow.
- I think Carmella heard someone say she had two moves last week, because she throws in her headscissors, forearms and more.
- Bayley catches her with a Bayley 2 Belly
- Super Frankensteiner from Carmella, and the crowd bought it as a finish.
- More nearfalls and a superkick, but Bayley rolls out of the ring. Carmella slams Bayley face first and applies the Code of Silence.
- Bayley punches out Carmella's elbow, and reverses another Code of Silence to get the pin with her foot on the ropes.
- Bayley attacks Carmella and Naomi makes the save. If they were going to run right into a Naomi program with one or both, why not have Bayley trip her up to cost her the match last week?
- The crowd brought this up to a 7ish for me. A lot of fun.
- They're hammering home "role model" aspect of Bayley. She says that she's going to defend her title at Super Showdown.
- Bayley/Carmella program took up the first 39 minutes of the show. Good stuff.
- Carmella says she demands a rematch.
- "The glow is real" isn't a reason to get a title shot. Naomi's shoulder not being down last week is. Why not just have her say that?
Sheamus defeated Apollo Crews & Shorty G
4.75/10
- If they're going to do this with Sheamus, I hope they do something to make him way more interesting.
- Some rolling kicks from Gable and moonsaults/shooting stars from Crews hit.
- Brogue Kick on Gable and Crews.
Hogan Fun House
- Hulk Hogan recounts Goldberg.
- Firefly Fun House interrupts and Bray Wyatt does his thing.
- Hogan talks back, but Wyatt implies he might attack.
- Hogan leaves.
LESS COWBELL
- Sami Zayn and Cesaro are out in the ring with a cowbell and ukelele.
- Elias interrupts them and gets a cheap pop.
- Zayn is staging a protest, Elias a counter protest.
- Zayn wants less cowbell, the crowd wants MORE COWBELL.
- Elias ends up getting attacked and Braun Strowman makes the save.
- Zayn bails out, and security attacks Strowman.
- Elias and Strowman heave the security guard big time.
VALENTINE'S DATE
- We see Otis preparing, and Tucker offering words of encouragement.
- Ziggler steps in, as Otis is late.
- Otis walks in to see Ziggler sitting with Mandy. Dejected, he leaves.
Roman Reigns & Daniel Bryan defeated Miz & Morrison
5.75/10
- The Miz and Morrison have kind of a funny exchange.
- Throughout the broadcast, there has been static coming through the screen.
- Roman Reigns is supposed to pick his partner. They've teamed together four times in the WWE on Fox era.
- Bryan hits a suicide dive on Miz while doing his comeback spot to Morrison. The crowd loves Daniel.
- Morrison does an amazing dive over the top onto the babyfaces.
- The sliding knee works a lot better for John Morrison from the other one he does.
- Morrison misses a 450. It's amazing how effortless Morrison makes those look.
- Reigns gets the hot tag, but Morrison cuts him off. Reigns catches him midair with a Superman punch.
- Skull Crushing Finale on Reigns, boot on Bryan.
- Reigns hits the spear and wins.
- Corbin attacks. Who gives a shit?
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
