- Big E says he wants to pitch the last hour of Smackdown Live to be THE FREAKY HOUR
- Dolph Ziggler quickly interrupts this. Ziggler isn't as appreciative of Kofi as in previous weeks.
- Kofi casually explains all the ways he can win the match, which is a nice way of reminding the viewer of the rules without beating us over the head with it.
- Ziggler says he's going to make sure Xavier can't help him again tonight.
- Ziggler goes into ACCCCC-TORRRRRRRR mode. It's not the best.
- This goes right into the opening match.
Dolph Ziggler defeated Xavier Woods
- Xavier Woods' dropkick against the ropes looks really great.
- Every time Xavier Woods gets the chance to show his worth in a singles match, he excels.
- Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come out and gets involved. Xavier hits an awesome body block off the top to the outside on them.
- Zayn is Wild Card #1.
- Xavier hits an amazing press gutbuster.
- Ziggler kicks Xavier outside, and does the Zig Zag inside the ring, but won't let Woods roll out.
- Ziggler wraps Xavier up in the ropes and lands a superkick for the win.
- That was a really great twist on the superkick as a finish.
- Shelton Benjamin and the B-Team are backstage waiting on Baron Corbin, who is wild card #2. Benjamin says he's going to use Corbin like Corbin is using everyone else.
- Matt Hardy emerges, and calls Shelton SENOR Benjamin.
- I don't have a clue what brand AOP are on anymore.
A Moment Bliss
- Wild Card #3 Alexa Bliss, and Wild Card #4 Nikki Cross appear a half hour into the show. Or are they just collectively #3 because they're teaming?
- Bayley comes out drinking Alexa's coffee and tells Nikki that Alexa is using her.
- Bliss said that she's always seen through Bayley. Bliss says Bayley never helped her when she needed it in NXT.
- Bayley says DAMN. In the context of "doesn't deserve a DAMN thing."
- Bliss says Bayley peaked in NXT, and Bayley attacks.
- Cross breaks it up and screams at Bayley, allowing Bliss to attack.
- This ended up being pretty good.
- Apollo approaches Zelina looking for Andrade. She flirts with him and Andrade attacks. Chad Gable is backstage scouting Apollo again.
- Kabuki Warriors vs. IIconics for the tag titles in Tokyo, but the IIconics are not happy about it. Wait, no. It's for a shot at the titles. Huh. WWE saw that AEW match and was like, let's book someone to get a shot for a shot for a shot for a shot at the tag titles. I hope next week on Smackdown the IIconics hit us with some good Oregon Trail joke #CONTENT.
- Ember Moon runs into Carmella looking for Truth. Ember Moon approaches Fire, Desire & Donuts and is really cliche and angry. She attacks them and screams. I don't get it.
Heavy Machinery defeated B-Team
- I can not pretend this is a match I'm excited for.
- Daniel Bryan runs down Heavy Machinery for wanting to be the Bushwackers and not the Sheepherders. He wants to make the tag team division important and not a joke.
- Bryan compliments Tucker and Otis' abilities, but not them joking around.
- Otis is over with the crowd and hits the Caterpillar. Bryan says he'd just move.
- Heavy Machinery win with the Compactor.
- Seth Rollins, Wild Card #5, attacks B-Team with a chair.
Elimination Tag Team Match
Drew McIntyre & Elias (w/ Shane McMahon) defeated Awesome Truth
- Drew McIntyre, Wild Card #6 is with Shane McMahon and Elias.
- They cut promos, and Wild Card #7 The Miz is out. Shane McMahon seems confused about Miz being there. That makes two of us, buddy.
- Miz trolls Shane with video of them getting beaten up. Miz, a Raw Superstar, is complaining because Smackdown isn't different than Raw, the show he's on. He, a Raw superstar on Smackdown, complains about Shane McMahon taking too much airtime.
- Shane books a tag team elimination match. Elias & Drew against Miz and anyone he can find in ten seconds. Who the hell turned the stipulation modifier on during the WWE booking meeting this week?
- Truth is wandering around. So we get Awesome Truth back. That's cool.
- Miz and Truth bust out their old hiptoss.
- Shane McMahon trips up Truth and Elias pins him with a knee.
- The 24/7 crew come and try to steal the titles.
- We go through a commercial to see Miz worked over to come back. He has a nice DDT.
- A sneaky Glasgow Kiss and Claymore win it for the heels.
- Shane McMahon helps Drew hit another one after the match.
Drake Maverick defeated R-Truth (c)
- After the match, we see R-Truth trying to leave the arena and thinks the ref is an Uber driver. He's not.
- Drake Maverick dressed as Carmella pins Truth with his feet on the SUV. He's the new champ, and he's getting married.
- Truth is upset that Carmella is getting married and didn't invite him.
Seth Rollins & Kofi Kingston defeated KO & Sami Zayn
- KO & Zayn approach an arriving Shane, and complain about Seth Rollins. He books them against Rollins & Kofi in a tag team 2 out of 3 falls match.
- Why does WWE have such a boner for 2 out of 3 falls tag matches this week?
- Trouble in Paradise, and Zayn immediately gets pinned.
- Owens fights back, and he's really good. No surprise.
- Rollins has one of the best Blockbusters in wrestling history.
- The crowd loves Kofi Kingston, he's consistently over.
- Zayn does that beauty of a Blue Thunder Bomb.
- Some great back and forth as the match unfolds. Rollins pins Owens with the Curb Stomp.
- It's clear WWE is on some sort of "clean sweep" run with stipulations.
- Paul Heyman is shown looking on.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!