- I'm ecstatic to see Paige on the Pre show panel. Edge and Christian, too
- Jonathan Coachman looked at Sam Roberts, saw his opportunity to be a babyface, and took it.
- "Sam Roberts, you look like Dean Ambrose got put in the dryer with Krusty the Clown's wig," - Edge
Tony Nese defeated Buddy Murphy (c) to win the title
- Murphy dropped Nese across the top rope for the first big spot of the match.
- This is the right match to start the pre-show, as it's a couple of guys not everyone knows, but it's a crowd hungry for wrestling, and the crowd is actually there.
- Nese gets a great wheel kick, but they go through that lame Rush/Bandido spot where Murphy has to hold the top rope. Fortunately it doesn't take like ten minutes.
- Murphy gets a spiked reverse rana on top of his head and both guys slug it out well.
- Nese gets a Dudebuster, but goes to the Fosbury Flop when he can't get a pin. Nese's 450 doesn't win it, either.
- Murphy's Law hits, but Nese's foot is in the ropes.
- Nese goes wild and gets the pin after some heavy offense, including a Running Nese and German into the corner.
- Outstanding match and a perfect opener. A great pace to this.
WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal
- Kairi Sane in the WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal, also Ember Moon is back. Naomi and Asuka get their own entrances.
- Nikki Cross is embarrassingly jobbed out.
- Ember Moon eliminates Naomi. She should probably win this. She hits a couple of Eclipses and Lana tosses her out.
- Lana and Kairi Sane have an interesting exchange. Lana is eliminated by all the Riott Squad. Kairi is next.
- "This is Dana Brooke's WrestleMania moment" had me howling. It was though. She eliminated the Riott Squads sans Sarah. Her elimination from Fire and Desire did NOT look good.
- Mickie tosses Mandy, then Sonya tosses Mickie.
- It's down to Asuka, Sonya and Sarah Logan.
- Asuka beats both their asses and sweeps Sonya out. Sarah Logan eliminates Asuka!
- Carmella is still in the match. Sarah fights off elimination for a while but gets superkicked out.
- Good for Carmella. One of the best examples in pro wrestling history of making the best of any situation.
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
Hawkins & Ryder defeated The Revival (c)
- Ryder takes a big spill over the top rope outside the ring. Back in, he eats a Decapitation Elbow.
- Ryder is getting worked over big time. He slings Dash into the turnbuckle and hits a double neckbreaker.
- The ref misses a pin on Ryder. Revival follow up with an assisted leg drop.
- Hawkins gets a hot tag and the crowd explodes. Imagine how good that feels for a New York native who has had a losing streak gimmick for years.
- Ryder hits a flying Rough Ryder and and an AWESOME suplex over the top rope.
- Hawkins employs great tag team strategy and gets Ryder in and tags him.
- Hawkins spears Dash! He then eats a FILTHY brainbuster.
- This has almost zero build and the crowd is all about it.
- Hawkins wins with a small package. The crowd exploded.
- That was a lot of fun.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Braun Strowman wins
- Colin Jost wearing a OBJ Browns jersey in Metlife is great.
- Luke Harper is back. Humbling to see Andrade in this.
- EC3 is eliminated first. WOOF.
- Jinder Mahal VICIOUSLY eliminated Lucha House Party.
- Braun Strowman mows down a LOT of people. Including both members of Heavy Machinery. He boots Ali and Harper over mid suplex. Ali eats table.
- Jost and Che try to come in and help Hardy Boyz toss Braun. BUT THEY DON'T. Hardys are eliminated!
- Jost begs and pleads. He says he's brought his therapist to help work through this anger. Braun beats his ass.
- CHE IS OUT.
- Jost actually almost eliminated Braun on a missed boot. Braun heaves him over onto the pile.
- Worth noting....no winners of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal have won the WWE/Universal title since doing so.
- Braun struggles to get the trophy in the air. He's in amazing shape.
- Alexa Bliss says she can make a WrestleMania moment at the snap of her fingers.
- Hulk Hogan comes out to a huge pop.
- He intentionally screws up the name, calling it the Silverdome, then unintentionally screws it up, calling it Metlife Center.
WWE Universal Championship
Seth Rollins defeated Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman)
- Paul Heyman says if they're not going on last, they're getting the hell out of New York early. The match is happening now!
- The match hasn't been started and Rollins gets brutalized. An F5 outside the ring, and he's thrown into the barricade, over tables, everything.
- The bell rings and Rollins is thrown all over the place. He's bleeding.
- He pushes Lesnar into the ref and hits him in the dick. THREE CURB STOMPS.
- Rollins wins! He's won a match at every WrestleMania he's competed at!
- We gotta call it a Bowser stomp if Rollins uses it three times in a row.
AJ Styles defeated Randy Orton
- Orton immediately goes for an RKO, but it doesn't happen.
- Styles hits a forearm to the outside, but Orton hits a back suplex onto the barricade.
- Styles lands a great Ushigoroshi and the Calf Crusher, but Orton gets to the ropes.
- The crowd isn't happy about the lights and are chanting about it. The crowd is happy and then unhappy and then happy and then unhappy because there are lights blinding them at the venue. Orton thinks they're reacting to him.
- Styles 450, Orton with a SuperDUPERplex.
- Styles almost gets caught with an RKO off a springboard, but drops Orton's head over the ropes.
- They struggle a bit, and Styles wins with a Phenomenal Forearm.
- This was a solid, hard hitting match.
- Lacey Evans walks out and then leaves.
- Hall of Fame inductions are read. Torrie WIlson gets a monster pop.
- Alexa Bliss visits Colin and Michael in the trainer's room. The doctors are the Outsiders. Kevin Nash offers up.
- Rusev and Lana are out here shilling NUT BUTTER. AYYYYYYYY.
- Ron Simmons shows up and DAMNS A-Team, who are dancing next to Alexa Bliss in "Daniel Bryan retains" shirt
- We get a Dance Break. I'm not sure what took Truth and Carmella so long to get out there.
Smackdown Tag Team Championships
Usos (c) defeated The Bar, Ricochet & Aleister Black and Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura (w/ Lana)
- I kind of like the champs coming out first on the Mania show.
- Ricochet & Black get a great reaction.
- Cesaro and Ricochet need a 100 MPH singles match this week on Smackdown.
- Cesaro has a WrestleMania sized Swing on Ricochet. 32 revolutions. Sheamus gets a Mania moment of his own with Beats Of The Bodhran on like everyone.
- Tower Of Doom -- another dove cries. Ricochet rolls through off the top of it to no reaction.
- He hits a 630 but everyone breaks it up.
- Each guy goes through his standing strike finisher. The Usos finish with theirs and the Double Uso for the win.
Falls Count Anywhere
Shane McMahon defeated The Miz
- "What's the big deal? Miz's dad didn't even like him until two months ago."- Graves.
- Shane attacks Miz, and puts him on the table, but Mr. Miz gets in the way. Miz was bleeding really bad here.
- Mr. Miz puts his dukes up and gets his ass kicked.
- Miz SNAPS.
- Mr. Miz says he's okay, but is selling dead.
- They brawl into the crowd, including a DDT on the set that Miz kicks out of.
- Miz beats Shane with a chair, including hitting his ankle inside the barricade.
- Charles Robinson trying to keep the announcer tables from tipping over.
- Shane is slammed through a table. Then he's knocked onto a golf cart and BOUNCES off the roof.
- Skull Crushing Finale on a platform next to a production tent.
- I love them going near the production tent and all that. It's a different look.
- I just don't want Shane McMahon to die or anything.
- Miz superplexes Shane off the balcony onto a rigged pad. Shane is on top and gets the pin!
- All I saw where phones out. I guess that's the modern day version of the cool flashbulbs.
WWE Women's Tag Team Championships
The IIconics defeated Boss N' Hug Connection (c), Divas of Doom, Tamina & Nia Jax
- Bayley's inflatable buddy doesn't inflate...oh boy.
- Bret Hart joins Divas of Doom on the ramp. Their gear rules, but really everyone's does.
- Everyone takes out Tamina and Nia Jax. IIconics have a nice double Queen suplex
- Sasha and Bayley's battering ram dropkick finally works.
- The crowd isn't hot for this right now.
- Sasha rolls through a Glam Slam. Natalya ends up applying a double Sharpshooter. Bayley grabs Sasha's hand to prevent the tap.
- Divas of Doom have to Humpty Dumpty Nia off the apron to the floor, or else she was about to win.
- Elbow drop from Bayley, frog splash from Sasha. But Beth kicks out.
- Natalya lands a crazy spinning powerbomb on Sasha, Beth Phoenix does a super Glam Slam on Bayley.
- Billie blind tags and steals the pin! They immediately burst into tears. this was a great moment.
Kofi Kingston (w/ New Day) defeated Daniel Bryan (c) (w/ Erick Rowan)
- Worth noting -- no member of New Day has won a WrestleMania match since the team formed
- Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston gives me the same feeling as when I cover a major UFC fight.
- We see people backstage cheering on Kofi Kingston. He hits an early dive.
- Bryan applies a submission, but Kofi gets the Mushroom stomp.
- Kofi springboards to the outside and falls FLAT into the desk. OOF.
- Daniel slows things down, and drops a knee over Kofi's head and drop to holds him into the buckles. This sets up the big dropkicks.
- Kofi gets caught in a LION TAMER on a Mushroom Stomp attempt. What a counter.
- Kofi and Bryan go for body press pins, and Bryan ends up applying a Lebell Lock. Kofi kicks his way out.
- SOS into a LeBell Lock. That was a BEAUTY.
- Kofi eats a bunch of kicks and dares Bryan for more. They get off the same page, but save it with a reverse suplex.
- Rowan takes out New Day, but Kofi hits the Trouble in Paradise. UpUpDownDown on him, and Rowan helped them land that one.
- Kofi misses Trouble in Paradise and eats a knee. The place loses it when Kofi kicks out.
- Lebell Lock is in, but Kofi fights out to huge chants. Kofi is landing big elbows from the guard with shitty camera work that takes away from it.
- Kofi STOMPS Bryan out. Trouble in Paradise. Pin. Clean as a sheet.
- I hope the trigger happy oaf in production who keeps calling for CAMERA CUTS during a title celebration get scolded. Like, getting a shot of a person raising a championship after a victory is important.
- They unveil the original WWE Championship to a huge pop. Kofi Kingston's kids are in the ring.
- Pro wrestling is the greatest form of entertainment in the world.
WWE United States Championship
Samoa Joe (c) defeated Rey Mysterio
- Rey's gear rules. Joe wearing same old stuff.
- Rey gets a big DDT and a 619.
- Joe catches him in a choke and that's it.
- That was a good call. Rey is banged up and how do you follow Bryan vs. Kingston?
Roman Reigns defeated Drew McIntyre
- This match for the World Pyroweight Championship, currently held by Reigns obviously.
- Nobody in this building thinks that Drew McIntyre is going to win. This went from a WrestleMania worthy match to a Raw main event on a down week worthy match because of McIntyre's booking.
- This is hard hitting with no heat.
- McIntyre's Glasgow Kiss and Bammaslamma hit.
- This is a good match, but Drew goes back to the "grab opponent by the face and talk trash to the opponent" gimmick.
- The crowd wakes back up in the ring after Reigns hit a Samoan drop outside.
- Spear, win.
- This is Reigns' first singles match since October.
- Elias is shown drumming and playing piano on the tron and in the ring on guitar. He's performing all by himself.
- He also plays a rendition of Seven Nation Army.
- He's interrupted by a video of Babe Ruth calling his shot.
- It's John Cena, the Doctor of Thuganomics!
- He's out to battle rap Elias.
- He has some neat photoshops and cracks Elias. He hits a 5-Knuckle Shuffle and an F-U.
Triple H's Career On The Line
No Holds Barred
Triple H defeated Batista
- Triple H finally saw Mad Max Fury Road I see.
- Batista trips and falls a couple times.
- They're already battling outside of the ring.
- Triple H hits Batista with tool box and a chain.
- Triple H takes Batista's fingers in pliers and stomps his elbow. YIKES.
- HHH RIPS OUT BATISTA'S NOSE RING WITH PLIERS.
- Batista using Randy Orton's Singh Bomb. He also does an AIR RAID CRASH. What? Cool.
- This is a really good brawl. Batista looks a little blown up, though. He hits Triple H with stairs.
- Triple H back body drops Batista onto another announce table and spears him through another!
- Triple H finds a sledgehammer but walks into a spear of his own.
- The Batista Bomb gets a two count.
- Triple H powerbombs Batista onto stairs and hits a Pedigree for 2.
- Shawn Michaels' commentary is abysmal
- Batista SPIKED HHH with a DDT for two.
- Ric Flair shows up and hands a sledgehammer to Triple H. SUPERMAN SLEDGEHAMMER PUNCH. Pedigree. End.
Kurt Angle's Retirement Match
Baron Corbin defeated Kurt Angle
- Quit cutting to the crowd so much. This is Kurt's last entrance.
- Well, a squash is already out the window.
- Baron Corbin misses a top rope spot and gets put in an Ankle Lock.
- Angle kicks out of the Deep Six.
- Angle hits an Olympic Slam, but Corbin is out.
- Corbin rolls through an Ankle Lock and it looks bad on Angle's part.
- Corbin mocks John Cena and Kurt and German suplexed for his troubles.
- Angle misses the last moonsault of his career. Corbin wins with End of Days.
- Kurt Angle putting someone over on his way out like a professional. Clean as a sheet in the middle of the ring to someone's finish.
- Angle thanks the crowd and tells them to chant him out.
Demon Finn Balor defeated Bobby Lashley (c) (w/ Lio Rush)
- Production misses a bunch of Balor shots.
- The ref really rushed to start this match.
- Balor kicks Lashley early and often, then hits a tope con hilo.
- Lashley lands his big slam and a huge suplex.
- Balor catches Lashley with a Slingblade outside and growls at Lio.
- BOBBY LASHLEY YOLO DIVE!!
- His dumb flipping spear lands, but commentary telegraphs a kickout.
- Demon powerbombs Lashley. That was impressive.
- Coup de Grace for the win.
- No heat, nobody cared, but the in-ring was really good.
WINNER TAKE ALL
Becky Lynch defeated Ronda Rousey (c) and Charlotte Flair (c) to become Champion
- Charlotte Flair has a HELICOPTER ENTRANCE. That is so beyond badass.
- Ronda Rousey is played out by Joan Jett.
- For whatever reason, no reaction on entrances, but mega reaction on the in-ring announcements.
- They feel each other out, and Rousey thows STIFF strikes.
- Lynch is slammed on the barricade, Charlotte on the floor.
- Charlotte returns the favor to Rousey in the barricade with an exploder.
- Charlotte goes for a Disarmher of her own but gets PUNCHED. Becky tried a Figure Four.
- Rousey runs up Becky and kicks Charlotte. While Rousey has Charlotte hung up, Becky kicks her into the floor. A GREAT spot.
- Disarmher on Charlotte, but Rousey breaks it up and tries her own, to be greeted with a knee from Charlotte.
- Rousey tells Charlotte she chops like a bitch and Charlotte backhands her.
- DDT/Reverse DDT on Charlotte and Ronda.
- Charlotte and Becky double powerbomb Ronda three times. I dunno why Rousey wouldn't let go.
- Becky rolls through on a Disarmher. Ronda gets to the ropes, which she uses as leverage to slam Becky into the buckles, but Becky pulls a Disarmher in them.
- Charlotte hits a GREAT Spanish Fly on Becky and applies a Figure Four on the ringpost on Rousey. Another is locked in in the ring.
- Becky hits a leg drop on Charlotte, and grabs a table to a big pop. Rousey throws it away and heels the crowd.
- Charlotte gets sent into the table, and Becky Lynch does too.
- Becky Lynch crucifixed Rousey, and wins. What? Rousey's shoulder was up.
- Whoever came up with that finish needs to take a good, long amount of time off. That was a garbage finish. Right result. Wrong Finish.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
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