Welcome to the Live Results show for Night Tres of Ultima Lucha Dos.
Dos Hours, Cinco Matches, TODOS VIOLENCIA.
Dario Cueto is ready? Are you?
Here we go, Believers.
--The show starts with a "Previously on Lucha Underground" video package.
--Then we have a scene of Penatagon Jr. fighting like nine hologram Pentagons in a cave.
Vampiro says he has to destroy the man he used to be, the man who was broken by Matanza. Eventually Pentagon realizes he has been fighting Vampiro, and Vampiro says:
"Now, you are ready."
Fenix, Drago & Aerostar
Johnny Mundo, PJ Black & Jack Evans (C)
Trios Championship Match
THIS SHIT IS F*CKING FANTASTIC.
The first few minutes is just crazy spot after crazy spot, but no one tags in, so eventually the ref gets control, and forces them to play by the rules.
Boo. Hiss. Boo.
This is the greatest trios match I have ever seen. Spot after spot after spot. At one point Fenix hits a Lo-Down Frog Splash that goes three quarters of the way across the ring. Once everyone is on the outside, Fenix hits a springboard 450 splash, but the ref is pulled out of the ring by Evans. Yeah, apparently that's not illegal in LU.
So the bad guys run wild, hitting illegal blows and triple team maneuvers and doing a three man Concerto on Fenix (but with Trios belts). They drag the ref back in, but Fenix kicks out at two.
So the beatdown continues until ANGELICO comes in, on crutches.
(Quick backstory: Angelico is amazing. He's the author of some of the most crazy spots in the history of Lucha Underground. Including this one:
But he's been out of action for most of Season 2. The story is he was "in an accident.")
Johnny Mundo is on top of the turnbuckle, about to do his End of the World twisting moonsault, but Angelico goes nuts on him with one of the crutches, Aerostar and Drago take out Evans and Black, and Fenix hits a sitout Samoan Driver for the 1-2-3.
Guess Johnny Mundo was the one who causes Angelico's accident.
SEASON 3 INTRIGUE, Y'ALL.
Winner, and NEW Trios Champions: Aerostar, Drago and Fenix
Black Lotus vs El Dragon Azteca Jr.
Dragon starts by charging with a flying kick but Lotus does the splits and ducks it.
Lotus puts him in the corner and lands some kicks and elbows. There's an exchange of flips and dodges but Lotus catches him with a headscissor takedown. She nails a flying armdrag off the top rope. Dragon rolls to the outside to cool off.
She runs for the suicide dive, but he slides back into the ring, baiting her. She aborts the dive into a baseball slide, and gets back up on the apron, only to catch an Enzuigiri in the back of the head. Lotus dodges his flying plancha to the outside and nails a Enzuigiri of her own. Dragon reverses an irish whip and slams Lotus into the wall. He puts her back into the ring and she nails a flying crossbody. She throws some Daniel Bryan style kicks to her kneeling opponent, then runs the ropes right back into a roaring elbow from Dragon. He puts her into postiton for a Shooting Star Press, but
PENTAGON JR RUNS IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's dressed all in black, not in his usual white and black gear.
He crotches Dragon on the top turnbuckle, enters the ring and BREAKS LOTUS'S ARM, Y'ALL!
THEN HE PILDRIVES DRAGON AND BREAKS HIS ARM TOO.
Matt Striker is apopleptic. He might have a stroke.
Vampiro says "Just relax. I would like to introduce you to PENTAGON DARK."
--BACK FROM THE BREAK AND PENTAGON DARK IS ON THE MIC.
This is amazing and crazy and I love Lucha Underground.
He says "Last year Pentagon Jr. beat his master here in the temple."
It's true, that shit happened:
"Pentagon Jr. thought he was ready, but no. He was not ready because the Monster Matanza humilated him and broke him. Together me and my master faced our fears and I am stronger now than I have ever been."
"Pentagon Jr. is dead. I am Pentagon Dark, and I have CERO MIEDO."
(Cero Miedo means "Zero Fear." It's kind of his thing.)
And HOLY SHIT. We're starting this Championship match RIGHT DAMN NOW.
Pentagon vs Matanza Cueto
Lucha Underground Championship
This is a very different match than the one in which Pentagon had his back broken.
PENTAGON MURKS MATANZA.This is nuts. All of the action happens on the outside. He chokes Matanza with a camera cable, hits a Death Valley Driver on the floor, a couple of vicious chairshots, and throws him into the stands.
Matanza gets in almost no offense at all.
Back in the ring, now. Pentagon hits a superkick, a running monkeyflip out of the corner, and a lungblower for a two count.
If you know how super-powered Matanza has been this season, you'd know how crazy this is.
Pentagon sets up a chair between the top and middle turnbuckle, but Matanza reverses an irish whip and send Pentagon into the chair instead. He hits a pumphandle suplex, a standing moonsault and a standing shooting star. He hits his gutwrench into German suplex combo, for a two count, then a modified Irish Car Bomb. Two Count.
Pentagon rolls to the outside, gets a chair, and bashes Matanza in the head with in to counter a suicide dive.
Then Pentagon hits a TOP ROPE CANADIAN DESTROYER.
Vampiro slips Pentagon a Barbed-Wire Bat, and as he's about to end Matanza with it, Dario Cueto saves his baby brother.
Pentagon is about to break Dario's arm, but Matanza comes to, grabs the barbed wire bat, and hits Pentagon with it, then nails the most protected Finishing Move in professional wrestling: The Wrath of the Gods.
WINNER AND STILL LUCHA UNDERGROUND CHAMPION: MATANZA CUETO
After the match, it appears like Pentagon blames his master Vampiro for the loss.
SEASON 3 INTRIGUE, Y'ALL.
Taya vs Ivelisse
This thing spills to the outside quickly, and these ladies are VICIOUS. It's a Women's Street Fight, basically. Drop toe holds into chairs, beating somebody's face into the announce table, pulling each other's hair up and down the arena steps.
Back into the ring and Ivelisse is in the driver's seat, she nails a snap German suplex, and a sunset flip powerbomb, but just as the ref is about to count three, the lights go out, and when they come up a second later, the ref is GONE.
In his place, and this is why I love Lucha Underground, IS CATRINA.
(Catrina is the embodiment of death, she can teleport, and she hates Ivelisse.)
She hits Ivelisse in the head with a rock and nails some crazy driver thing. The lights go out again, and when they come up Catrina is in the balcony, and THE REF HAS REAPPEARED. Taya nails a Northern Lights suplex and a standing double stomp for the 1-2-3.
The lights go out again, and when they come up again, Catrina is back in the ring, kneeling over the unconscious Ivelisse.
"Death comes for us all, even you, BITCH."
Then she licks Ivelisse's face. (It's kind of her thing. (Don't ask.))
MORE SEASON 3 INTRIGUE, Y'ALL.
Prince Puma vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
I have tears in my eyes, you guys. This is such a cool moment.
It starts with a handshake and a Ricochet/Ospreay "anything you can do I can do better" series of moves.
Rey tries a headscissor takedown, but it's reversed in to a sternum breaker. Rey finds himself in the Electric Chair position on the outside so he reverses that into a hurricanrana, putting Puma chin first into the apron. He then does a running headfirst slide under the ropes to a splash onto the prone Puma.
Back and forth, reversal after reversal after reversal. Two amazing performers giving it their all.
Rey hits an AMAZING reverse rana for a nearfall, Puma avoids a 619, then hits a roundhouse kick to set up a 619 of his own.
Puma hits his version of the GTS, but he almost seems regretful. There's a little shake of the head to himself, wondering if he really should do this to his idol. When Rey kicks out, Puma can't believe it.
A huge dropkick into the corner, and Puma gets to the top rope to hit his 630 senton, but pauses for his Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair "I'm orry, I love you" moment. That gives time to Rey to recover and avoid the move.
Eventually, after more reversals and more nearfalls, Rey finally hits the 619 for the win.
There's no other way to put it: This might be the best match I've ever seen.
They hug after the match, and Mysterio leaves the ring. This is Puma's hometown, Rey says, "These are your people" and Puma deserves to be in the ring and accept their adulation for an amazing match.
WINNER: REY MYSTERIO JR.
--So the match is over and Matt Striker is saying thank you for watching, goodnight, when PENTAGON COMES IN OUT OF THE CROWD.
HE HITS VAMPIRO WITH THE BARBED-WIRE BASEBALL BAT AND SUPERKICK STRIKER IN THE FACE.
Striker is out cold, but Pentagon keeps after Vampiro, pressing the barbed wire into Vamp's forehead. He continues the attack into the ring, gets on the mic, and says that he is the Maestro now. More Barbed-wire to the forehead, a wicked running basement dropkick to seated Vamp's face, and a chokehold. Vamp is out.
THE CROWD IS GOING MENTAL FOR PENTAGON.
--Finally, we see Dario Cueto being arrested for murdering a police informant with a bull sculpture (Last week. Where have you been?) He is placed in a police transport van, and after a while, he looks up and smiles.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Okay so when does season three start?
I've been Alex Pawlowski and you can follow me @pawlowskithe4th