His yard, punk.
- There's huge "Undertaker" "delete" "Roman sucks" chants as Reigns comes out. WWE just let the chants ride before bringing him out.
- Reigns comes out, doesn't say a word, then gets "shut the fuck up chants," followed by "go away."
- A five-word Roman Reigns promo was perfect and gave me chills. He says "This is my yard now," and drops the mic. Incredible.
Raw Tag Team Championship
Hardy Boyz (c) defeated Anderson & Gallows
- It's so surreal to see the Hardy's back on Raw.
- Huge delete chants. Matt is like, semi-broken.
- The story of this is really the chants. "Delete," "obsolete," "fuck that owl."
- Jeff uses the stairs to help him with Poetry in Motion.
- Jeff kicks out of a Boot of Doom and KILLS Gallows with a Swanton.
- They're rusty.
Neville defeated Mustafa Ali
- Neville says he's done everything he said he would, and is interrupted by Mustafa Ali's music.
- Ali might get a surprise win.
- Ali lands a sick wheel kick and an awesome dive to the outside.
- This is an outstanding match, and the crowd is worried about a beach ball.
- Mustafa Ali manages a springboard Spanish Fly. Reverse rana, big DDT, but misses his imploding 450.
- Neville teases a Red Arrow, and applies the Rings of Saturn instead.
- He should have cut a promo on the beach ball.
Mr. McMahon
- Vince is looking thinner.
- "Roman sucks" chants.
- Vince announces a "superstar shakeup" for next week.
- He says Stephanie will be out for some time, which gets a giant pop.
- He's introducing a new Raw GM, and Teddy Long thinks it's him. This is damn hilarious.
- Kurt Angle is brought out to a giant pop. This should be fun.
- Hey guys, you can dislike Vince McMahon as a booker, and still enjoy Mr. McMahon as a character. Don't be a doofus
Revival defeated New Day
- New Day has LOD spikes, boxing gloves.
- I just realized those are ice cream cones on the shoulder pads. Jesus.
- New Day issues an open challenge, answered by THE REVIVAL!
- Anyone debuting tonight or tomorrow night is not guaranteed to be on that brand. A "superstar shakeup" was literally just announced.
- New Day look MOTIVATED.
- Revival win with Shatter Machine and attack Kofi. They attacked the bike on the way in. Awesome.
Backstage crappenings.
- There's a pretty good, funny backstage segment with Kurt Angle, Enzo and Cass.
- Sami Zayn is backstage trying to buddy up with Kurt. Hardbody Mahal interrupts and he's terrible. They have a match.
- Jericho cuts a promo backstage and puts Owens' finger on the list. Owens attacks, then Joe helps him jump Jericho.
Sasha Banks, Bayley and Dana Brooke defeated Charlotte, Emma and Nia Jax
- Why in the shit do they get along with Dana Brooke?
- Emma is back! She has a funny interaction with the announce table.
- Emma pulls Bayley by her pony tail. Heh.
- This match was fine besides a shit double dropkick from Dana and Sasha.
- Sasha Banks has a great counter into the Banks Statement on Charlotte for the win.
- Charlotte is pissy and Nia Jax beats her up. Interesting.
Brock Lesnar
- Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar soaking up the cheers, says Goldberg won't be back.
- They run down a list of contenders, but settles on Reigns. The crowd wants Balor.
- Instead, they all get Braun.
- It is so WWE to build up a guy that people buy as an unstoppable monster to get over a Reigns/Lesnar match.
- Lesnar puts down the title. Braun walks away. The crowd calls him a pussy.
- Braun has "backed down" from two guys, been chokeslammed by a retiring Undertaker, and been tossed out of a battle royal since losing his first match.
Top Contender's match
Cesaro & Sheamus defeated Enzo & Cass
- Sheamus and Cesaro mess up a spot in the corner.
- I love Orlando Magic jerseys. Enzo butchered them.
- Sheamus is beat to shit. Battered all over the place on his body.
- Cesaro could have kept Enzo there for an hour in the Cesaro Swing.
- The finish to this match is awesome. A Rocket Launcher into a European uppercut.
Sami Zayn defeated Jinder Mahal
- Mahal attacks Sami before the match.
- Zayn sells like crazy for Mahal, still beats him.
Finn Balor and Seth Rollins defeated Samoa Jowens
- Finn Balor is back! I'm ready for all 42 kicks and stomps Balor's gonna do.
- This is a fun tag team match. Usually these pointless tag matches don't get over, but this is the right crowd and cast.
- Rollins hits one of the best dives I've ever seen him do. BUT HIS LEG IS SUPPOSED TO BE INJURED.
- They really need to explain that Balor has signed a heavyweight contract with WWE.
- No mention that Rollins is the one who put Balor out, but Rollins has spent weeks apologizing for things he did.
- Work over Balor's ankle and he'll only have the Slingblade
- Rollins launches himself all the way across the ring, and hits KO with his injured knee. Dumb
- Balor gets the win.
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