Sean Ross Balls (7/9): GBOF Match Ratings, Review, Notes, Analysis

Pre- show

  • How long before Dana is back in NXT? I think it's best for all parties. Either way, Emma comes to get her.
  • I honest to god thought Otunga was Darren Young. I even put that it was good to see Darren Young in my show notes initially.
  • Charly Caruso doesn't have the personality of Renee Young, but she's so good in her role asking someone like Paul Heyman questions.
Shawn Michaels On NXT Europe: This Has Been The Goal Of Triple H's For Quite Some Time

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) defeated Akira Tozawa (w/ Titus O'Neil)

7/10

  • If WWE is doing a bunch of video packages every week, why not a 2-3 minute 205 Live primer on Raw?
  • Vic Joseph says Tozawa has "tandem offense," but he's one person. He also has the "ooh" problem, but it's not as bad as Tom Phillips.
  • Tozawa and Neville are realllllll good. 
  • Neville did a front dropkick that didn't look like it hurt him more than the other guy.
  • I loved the match, but the result was never in much doubt.
  • Neville rolls out of the ring after a senton bomb, which was good.  Neville crushed Tozawa's #GreatBalls.
  • Neville's reign of terror continues. He's appropriately the face of the division.
  • Later, Tozawa demands Titus get him a rematch.

Bray Wyatt defeated Seth Rollins
7/10

  • They had to put this match here or no one was going to care about it. Wise decision.
  • Rollins hitting a Falcon Arrow on Wyatt was an impressive sight.
  • I get the feeling these two had something to prove. 
  • They worked so well together, especially in this slot. I'd imagine they won't be opening the show in their inevitable re-match. Because one match is never enough.
  • Wyatt gets a surprise win. Bray Wyatt is now Undisputed WWE God or something. 

Backstage crappenings

  • The Hardy Boyz cut a bad scripted promo.
  • I want to see Todd Grisham pronounce Great Balls of Fire in Japanese.

Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore

  • This is the first singles match on PPV for both Enzo and Big Cass.
  • Enzo's promo work is better as a singles.
  • Cass' new theme isn't too hot.
  • Cass using a modified crossface chickenwing. Enzo sells his ass off. Cass is whipping his ass. Cass wins with a boot.
  • Loved everything about that match.

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships
Iron Man Match
Cesaro & Sheamus (c) defeated The Hardy Boyz
6.5/10

  • Sheamus Brogue kicks Matt and pins him in 19 seconds. Great open. Sheamus is the #20SecondMan.
  • A whole lot of posing in this match to wind that clock down.
  • Sheamus and Ceasaro get another pin, but I'm not sure what Cesaro added to that finish. He barely touched Jeff. 
  • Cesaro smashed himself into the buckles a few times on the Matt spot. It's been an off night for Cesaro 12 minutes in.
  • Jeff hits an awesome assisted tope con hilo on both guys!
  • The crowd is REALLY hot for these last 5 minutes. You could watch nothing but the last 10 and be fine, even though it's good. 
  • I thought the Hardyz had an extra fall, but it was a split second call.
  • Cesaro pinned Jeff Hardy after a Swanton on Sheamus. SMOOTH. 
  • Matt was bleeding bad.

WWE Raw Women's Championship
Sasha Banks defeated Alexa Bliss (c) by countout
7.25/10

  • The ol' Alexa arm trick! And of course Cole's commentary is wack. Hell of a forearm followed.
  • Alexa and Sasha are working stiff and doing some really hard-hitting spots.
  • Sasha's gear is cool. 
  • If you wanna do the "why don't you give up?" deal, I'd wait until after like four minutes into the match.
  • Alexa and Sasha hit a lot of unconventional spots and bumps. 
  • Bumping three times off of the comeback spot is overrated. Sting was ahead of the curve.
  • Awesome Infrared from Alexa Bliss. Outstanding match so far. 
  • Alexa Bliss gets counted out. Sasha goes after Alexa and they brawl. Sasha teabagged Bliss!! 
  • They end up on the announce table.
  • JESUS HOWARD OF FLYING KNEES

Intercontinental Championship
Miz (c) (w/ Miztourage) defeated Dean Ambrose
4.5/10

  • Miz and Ambrose in the death slot, which would have been anywhere on this show.
  • Putting this title in a feud that people have seen 300 times knocks it down from where it was elevated last year.
  • Ambrose's mouth gets cracked open early. 
  • Miz wins. This wasn't great.

Ambulance Match
Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns
7.75/10

  • This is violence, as was expected.
  • Braun Strowman no sells chairshots to the arm, and Reigns reacts appropriately.
  • How does one learn to take an ambulance bump?
  • As long as there is shit to be torn up, I will never be tired of a Strowman-Reigns feud.
  • Reigns sends Strowman through an LED wall.
  • Worth noting they finally found someone to make me buy Reigns as an underdog. It took like four years, but they did.
  • Reigns spears himself into the ambulance! Strowman wins!!
  • Reigns attacks and drives Strowman off!
  • That was shaky cam appropriate because I'm like what the shit is going on
  • HE JUST KILLED BRAUN STROWMAN. 
  • Feud of the century. 
  • I'm waiting for Roman Reigns to pop out, attack Noble and reveal himself as his stabber too.
  • Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins too, by the way.
  • They need the JAWS OF LIFE to get Strowman out. 

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Samoa Joe
8/10

  • I went to take a piss and Brock Lesnar is napping on a pile of table wut da hayo.
  • This is my kind of match.
  • They are going at it--- CHOOTIN'.
  • Lesnar, always vulnerable to kicks to the penis.
  • Samoa Joe can hang with Brock Lesnar. 
  • 7 minute Lesnar matches kick ass.
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