Sean Ross Balls (7/9): GBOF Match Ratings, Review, Notes, Analysis

Pre- show

  • How long before Dana is back in NXT? I think it's best for all parties. Either way, Emma comes to get her.
  • I honest to god thought Otunga was Darren Young. I even put that it was good to see Darren Young in my show notes initially.
  • Charly Caruso doesn't have the personality of Renee Young, but she's so good in her role asking someone like Paul Heyman questions.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) defeated Akira Tozawa (w/ Titus O'Neil)

7/10

  • If WWE is doing a bunch of video packages every week, why not a 2-3 minute 205 Live primer on Raw?
  • Vic Joseph says Tozawa has "tandem offense," but he's one person. He also has the "ooh" problem, but it's not as bad as Tom Phillips.
  • Tozawa and Neville are realllllll good.
  • Neville did a front dropkick that didn't look like it hurt him more than the other guy.
  • I loved the match, but the result was never in much doubt.
  • Neville rolls out of the ring after a senton bomb, which was good. Neville crushed Tozawa's #GreatBalls.
  • Neville's reign of terror continues. He's appropriately the face of the division.
  • Later, Tozawa demands Titus get him a rematch.

Bray Wyatt defeated Seth Rollins
7/10

  • They had to put this match here or no one was going to care about it. Wise decision.
  • Rollins hitting a Falcon Arrow on Wyatt was an impressive sight.
  • I get the feeling these two had something to prove.
  • They worked so well together, especially in this slot. I'd imagine they won't be opening the show in their inevitable re-match. Because one match is never enough.
  • Wyatt gets a surprise win. Bray Wyatt is now Undisputed WWE God or something.

Backstage crappenings

  • The Hardy Boyz cut a bad scripted promo.
  • I want to see Todd Grisham pronounce Great Balls of Fire in Japanese.

Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore

  • This is the first singles match on PPV for both Enzo and Big Cass.
  • Enzo's promo work is better as a singles.
  • Cass' new theme isn't too hot.
  • Cass using a modified crossface chickenwing. Enzo sells his ass off. Cass is whipping his ass. Cass wins with a boot.
  • Loved everything about that match.

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships
Iron Man Match
Cesaro & Sheamus (c) defeated The Hardy Boyz
6.5/10

  • Sheamus Brogue kicks Matt and pins him in 19 seconds. Great open. Sheamus is the #20SecondMan.
  • A whole lot of posing in this match to wind that clock down.
  • Sheamus and Ceasaro get another pin, but I'm not sure what Cesaro added to that finish. He barely touched Jeff.
  • Cesaro smashed himself into the buckles a few times on the Matt spot. It's been an off night for Cesaro 12 minutes in.
  • Jeff hits an awesome assisted tope con hilo on both guys!
  • The crowd is REALLY hot for these last 5 minutes. You could watch nothing but the last 10 and be fine, even though it's good.
  • I thought the Hardyz had an extra fall, but it was a split second call.
  • Cesaro pinned Jeff Hardy after a Swanton on Sheamus. SMOOTH.
  • Matt was bleeding bad.

WWE Raw Women's Championship
Sasha Banks defeated Alexa Bliss (c) by countout
7.25/10

  • The ol' Alexa arm trick! And of course Cole's commentary is wack. Hell of a forearm followed.
  • Alexa and Sasha are working stiff and doing some really hard-hitting spots.
  • Sasha's gear is cool.
  • If you wanna do the "why don't you give up?" deal, I'd wait until after like four minutes into the match.
  • Alexa and Sasha hit a lot of unconventional spots and bumps.
  • Bumping three times off of the comeback spot is overrated. Sting was ahead of the curve.
  • Awesome Infrared from Alexa Bliss. Outstanding match so far.
  • Alexa Bliss gets counted out. Sasha goes after Alexa and they brawl. Sasha teabagged Bliss!!
  • They end up on the announce table.
  • JESUS HOWARD OF FLYING KNEES

Intercontinental Championship
Miz (c) (w/ Miztourage) defeated Dean Ambrose
4.5/10

  • Miz and Ambrose in the death slot, which would have been anywhere on this show.
  • Putting this title in a feud that people have seen 300 times knocks it down from where it was elevated last year.
  • Ambrose's mouth gets cracked open early.
  • Miz wins. This wasn't great.

Ambulance Match
Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns
7.75/10

  • This is violence, as was expected.
  • Braun Strowman no sells chairshots to the arm, and Reigns reacts appropriately.
  • How does one learn to take an ambulance bump?
  • As long as there is shit to be torn up, I will never be tired of a Strowman-Reigns feud.
  • Reigns sends Strowman through an LED wall.
  • Worth noting they finally found someone to make me buy Reigns as an underdog. It took like four years, but they did.
  • Reigns spears himself into the ambulance! Strowman wins!!
  • Reigns attacks and drives Strowman off!
  • That was shaky cam appropriate because I'm like what the shit is going on
  • HE JUST KILLED BRAUN STROWMAN.
  • Feud of the century.
  • I'm waiting for Roman Reigns to pop out, attack Noble and reveal himself as his stabber too.
  • Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins too, by the way.
  • They need the JAWS OF LIFE to get Strowman out.

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Samoa Joe
8/10

  • I went to take a piss and Brock Lesnar is napping on a pile of table wut da hayo.
  • This is my kind of match.
  • They are going at it--- CHOOTIN'.
  • Lesnar, always vulnerable to kicks to the penis.
  • Samoa Joe can hang with Brock Lesnar.
  • 7 minute Lesnar matches kick ass.

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