Welcome To The Weekly
Featuring a Full Preview of Tonight's Episode
As always, these topics are taken directly from the official preview at WWE.com:
WWE Week will feature Styles vs. Ellsworth in a WWE Championship Match
Last week on Smackdown, we were supposed to get James Ellsworth challenging AJ Styles for the WWE World Championship.
Instead we got this:
Entertaining to be sure, but not what we were promised, and not what the fans in Houston were expecting to see.
When they found out they weren't going to get the title match they'd believed they were going to get to see Live, they turned on the show. They were not happy.
It didn't matter that there was a perfectly fine reason for this change--AJ's legitimate ankle injury; it mattered that the WWE knew he wouldn't be able to compete earlier that day, and they chose to withhold that information, instead keeping us in suspense before revealing AJ in a walking boot.
This week we're supposed to get James Ellsworth challenging AJ Styles for the WWE World Championship.
I'll believe it when I see it.
Last week I wrote a retrospective of Ellsworth's recent run in WWE, only to find out during the show that my preview was entirely worthless.
The sentiments there-in still stand, however, and many of you may not have had a chance to read last week's edition, so ...
Why this guy? Why Ellsworth?
There's a simple answer:
He was the first, and he was the best.
Post Brand Split, the WWE brought back the use of jobbers to get their monsters over, and Ellsworth was the first one we saw. But he was also different, with his weird little body and his Offspring logo tattoo and his overall chinlessness. He was the jobbiest jobber that ever jobbed.
And then, before his match with Braun Strowman, when he was interviewed in the ring, he said that "Any man with two hands has a fighting chance."
And part of us wanted to believe him.
And then he got squished like a bug.
As the weeks went by, and Braun squished more bugs, none of them quite measured up to James Ellsworth.
They say you never forget your first.
I wonder if Johnny Knockout (he of the affinity for "big sweaty men") had been first to be squished, would he be in this role now? I honestly don't think so.
And if Ellsworth hadn't been first, but instead been 3rd or 4th or 5th, would he be here now, one win away from becoming world champ?
I honestly don't think so.
It was that perfect combination of First and Best.
And tonight, he has a match for the world title.
And he just might win. Not saying he will, or he should, or that I want him to.
Just saying he's got a (fighting) chance.
It's crazy when you think about it.
How did we get here?
How did we go from this:
HOW DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN?
I honestly don't know.
But What A Time To Be Alive.
Again, not saying that he's going to win, or that I think he should, just that it's nearly unbelievable for him to be in this position.
Will he beat AJ Styles and become WWE World Champion?
I'll believe it when I see it.
Who can possibly overcome The Wyatt Family?
Probably nobody. At least for now.
The Hype Bros seem to think they have a chance.
All together now:
Yeah. That ain't happenin'.
And it's for damn sure not going to be Rhyno and Heath Slater:
They're more done than Jeri-KO.
I want Heath and Rhyno to have a blood feud about this.
Have Rhyno turn super-heel, video tape himself going to Heath's doublewide and crashing a car into it, draining his above ground pool, kidnapping his kids--okay maybe not kidnapping his kids, but definitely making it personal, saying "You only got this contract, you only got those tag titles, because of ME. And now I'm going to take everything away, because you don't deserve it."
And then you have Heath fighting against this pissed off dude who's bigger and stronger than him. Heath would be stratospherically over. And you can do that for MONTHS. A great mid-card feud that doesn't have to have a title involved to be compelling.
Grudge match after grudge match after grudge match.
Drag this shit out until Mania, put them in a cage, make it falls count anywhere, if you do this right, the fans will EAT IT UP.
But anyway, they're not gonna get it done, so who is?
I mean, not now.
Who will look to unseat The Miz?
But it's probably not going to be him.
However, I don't think it's automatically going to be Dean Ambrose either.
Ellsworth ruined his the IC Title match with Miz last week, making it two titles in three days that he cost him.
If Ellsworth survives his match with Styles, doesn't Ambrose have some unfinished business with the Chinless Wonder?
So if it's not Dean, and it's not Tye Dillinger (although I really really really hope it is), who's left?
What if Miz insults Daniel Bryan just a little too much this week, makes him snap and brings in a ringer to challenge for the IC Title?
And he DESTROYS the Miz. Which is what Daniel Bryan wanted all along, right?
Except now Bryan can't control this monster he's unleashed on the world.
And he's got turn to another loose cannon to try to reign him back in.
Okay, now I'm just fantasy booking.
By the way, The Miz is pushed to the Main Event picture in this case, feuding with AJ Styles, who slowly turns back babyface.
Now I'm REALLY fantasy booking.
- Is Nikki out to get Natalya or Carmella?
I mean, does it really matter?
Nikki Bella doesn't care about the Women's Title.
She's got important diplomatic meetings with the Ambassador from the Land of Lilliput.
THE WOMEN'S TITLE IS OUT THERE, AND NOBODY CARES.
Least of all, WWE.com, who failed to include new champ Alexa Bliss or her main contender Becky Lynch in their own preview for the second straight week.
So here, once again, I'll do it for them:
Alexa Bliss is the Women's Champ, and Becky Lynch Wants Her Title Back
There, was that so hard?
Hang on, I've got another one.
- The Women's Title Should Be Inherently More Important Than A Feud Between Two Reality "Actresses"
But for some reason, it's apparently not.
What do you have to say to that, Alexa?
So let's see what IS important enough to be included in the official Smackdown Preview?
Comedian Gabriel Iglesias will appear on SmackDown LIVE Tuesday night
Couldn't have said it better myself, Fluffy.
Until Next Time, I've Been Alex Pawlowski
You and this is my reaction
when Alexa Bliss isn't treated
with the respect that she deserves.