Welcome to the Weekly
Featuring an Examination of
Where We Are After TLC
and a brief preview of tonight's episode.
Sunday night, at TLC in Dallas, James Ellsworth, seeing that AJ Styles had the match won, walked down to ringside, past a fallen and mostly broken Dean Ambrose. AJ Styles attacked him, and was about to Styles Clash him off the ring steps again, only to have Dean Ambrose attack Styles and save Ellsworth. Dean then was able to deposit AJ on the outside, giving him a clear path to victory.
Then this happened:
AJ Styles climbed the ladder, retrieved the belt and retained his championship.
On Talking Smack, James Ellsworth laid out his logic and his reasons.
You see, he believes that since he's 3-0 against AJ Styles, he's got AJ's number, and he can beat him again, and this time, he'll become world champion.
Daniel Bryan tries to talk some sense into him, as does Renee Young, but to no avail.
The man is delusional Not only does he think that he can beat AJ without the dirty cheating help of Ambrose, he believes Dean Ambrose will forgive him for costing him a sure World Title Reign.
"He'd do the same for me," Ellsworth said, so crazy he could barely string together a coherent sentence.
He's a polarizing figure, this no-chinned musician, as reviled by some as he is adored by the multitudes.
But why this guy? Why Ellsworth?
There's a simple answer:
He was the first, and he was the best.
Post Brand Split, the WWE brought back the use of jobbers to get their monsters over, and Ellsworth was the first one we saw. But he was also different, with his weird little body and his Offspring logo tattoo and his overall chinlessness. He was the jobbiest jobber that ever jobbed.
And then, before his match with Braun Strowman, when he was interviewed in the ring, he said that "Any man with two hands has a fighting chance."
And part of us wanted to believe him.
And then he got squished like a bug.
As the weeks went by, and Braun squished more bugs, none of them quite measured up to James Ellsworth.
They say you never forget your first.
I wonder if Johnny Knockout (he of the affinity for "big sweaty men") had been first to be squished, would he be in this role now? I honestly don't think so.
And if Ellsworth hadn't been first, but instead been 3rd or 4th or 5th, would he be here now, one win away from becoming world champ?
I honestly don't think so.
It was that perfect combination of First and Best.
And tonight, he has a match for the world title.
And he just might win. Not saying he will, or he should, or that I want him to.
Just saying he's got a (fighting) chance.
It's crazy when you think about it.
How did we get here?
How did we go from this:
HOW DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN?
I honestly don't know.
But What A Time To Be Alive.
AND NOW FOR A PREVIEW OF TONIGHT'S SMACKDOWN:
As always, these topics come directly from the WWE.com preview:
Ellsworth to challenge AJ Styles for the WWE World Title tonight
We already talked about this a bunch, but now I'm going to nitpick a little.
One thing that I didn't get about what happened on Sunday night:
Why did Ellsworth come down to the ring?
Like, in kayfabe, at the exact moment that he chose to?
Dean Ambrose is lying in a broken heap on the floor, not moving. AJ Styles is on the ladder, about to claim the World Title, which we know from his later interview is exactly what Ellsworth wants to happen. Why would he come down right then?
If you're writing this angle, why not have him come down to ringside when BOTH men are lying on the floor?, or when BOTH men are struggling to climb the ladder?
Not enough of a swerve for you, WWE creative?
Whatever. I suppose it really doesn't matter, but it's these lapses in writing logic that continue to frustrate those of us who choose not to turn our brains off when watching professional wrestling.
Also, can't wait to see how Dean gets involved in this deal.
Please no hot dog carts.
Did Natalya attack Nikki Bella at Survivor Series?
Yes she did.
We all knew that she did.
It's not a surprise.
You're going to have Nikki and Nattie feud now.
Just get on with it.
The New Wyatt Family defend their newly won SmackDown Tag Team Titles against Heath Slater & Rhyno in a WWE TLC rematch
Yes to this.
I hope Bray mind controls Rhyno at some point in the match and make him join the Braysian Dawn Movement, and then he starts a feud with Heath Slater.
I've been a good boy all year.
Santa give me this.
Sophia Grace accepts Nikki Bella’s invite to SmackDown LIVE
Go ahead and tell me again that they're not marketing this product primarily to children.
Hey, since the WWE decided this wasn't important enough to preview, how about I do one?
Alexa Bliss Gets Treated Like An Actual Champion And Not Like Some Afterthought!
They included this blurb about Bliss under the Tag Titles Rematch header for some reason:
Yeah so here's how much they care about Alexa Bliss.
They misspelled her damn NAME.
Check it out, top of the paragraph.
ALEXIA. They called her ALEXIA.
I hope she finds the intern that is responsible for this atrocity and DDTs them on an overturned table.
Until Next Time, I've Been Alex Pawlowski
and this is going to be me tonight
when Ellsworth somehow actually wins the
WWE World Championship.