- Sam Roberts stole EC3's jacket.
- Jordan & Rollins run into Gable & Benjamin backstage. Gable pokes fun at Jordan's new "singles career."
- If the winner of the Royal Rumble gets to pick what championship they go after, there's really no reason to not include Charlotte and Alexa Bliss in the match.
- About the only way I think Dolph Ziggler has WrestleMania title match worthy heat is if he comes out to Daniel Bryan's theme tonight.
- Ric Flair looks humble sober. Alundra Blaze and JBL had a TRASH fire. Kevin Owens insinuates Rosenberg pays for his WWE TV time
Kalisto, Lince Dorado & Gran Metalik defeated THE MOTLEY CREW APPARENTLY (Drew Gulak, TJP, Jack Gallagher)
- Kalisto's handstand counters are always impressive. Later we see the babyfaces hit triple in stereo moonsaults to the outside
- Gulak's hometown of Philadelphia chants for him, but he screams for them to stop because it's against his rules.
- This really isn't the type of Cruiserweight match to get the division over and stand out.
- Gallagher wants to go up top, but Gulak tries to talk him down. Really funny spot.
- Metalik is just so smooth. He throws elbow drops the opposite direction WWE likes them too, though. Short after, Dorado hits a springboard stunnner and Metalik a tope con hilo
- Vic Joseph calls the heels the "Motley Crew' like three times. He's a good announcer and calls moves, which makes me think Vince doesn't pay attention.
The Revival defeated Balor Club
- The Revival work over the leg of Anderson. It's good to see Balor Club working as babyfaces. They should have been a long time ago.
- I love the old school "KA" on Anderson's boots.
- There's a lot of back and forth, solid work. A chop block sets up the finish for The Revival. The commentary didn't make a big deal out of the win.
WWE United States Championship
Bobby Roode (c) defeated Mojo Rawley
- No nameplate for Bobby Roode yet. Mojo Rawley answers the challenge. This is gonna be UGLY.
- How many tackles do we see in this match? 5? We see one early. Two.
- Bobby Roode is pulling out everything in this arsenal to make this worth it.
- Mojo has a nice spinebuster for two. Roode gives one of his own.
- Mojo reverses two Glorious DDTs and sends Roode into the post. Roode hits a hideous DDT out of the corner for the win.
AJ Styles (c) defeated Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
- Owens runs all around the outside of the ring to his corner to make the tag.
- Kevin Owens uses an Electric Chair Drop after some really slow work. He then misses a Cannonball, and it looks nasty.
- Styles hits his backflip reverse DDT perfectly.
- Owens monkey flips Styles and he catches Zayn with a huracanrana. AJ Styles puts KO in the Calf Crusher, but Zayn breaks it up.
- No idea what those ring posts are made of, but they sound awesome when people hit them.
- Zayn scores a 2.999999999999 on the Blue Thunder Bomb. Styles barely got the shoulder up.
- AJ Styles took a flying forearm and made it one of the best finishes in WWE.
- Styles rolls up KO for the win, but Zayn was the legal man!
- KO is complaining backstage, but Shane McMahon doesn't care.
Smackdown Live Tag Team Championships
2 out of 3 Falls
The Usos (c) defeated Gable & Benjamin
- The Usos cut a great promo, per usual. I believe what they say. Well, except not having anything to lose when they're champions.
- What is the point in taking these big ass bumps if PEOPLE CAN'T SEE THEM!?
- Good action, but much slower paced than I thought it would be.
- A by god Tiger Suplex from Gable!
- Benjamin Buckle Bombs one Uso into the other and gets Paydirt, but it's two!
- Finally a 2 out of 3 falls match where the first fall isn't 3 minutes in
- Gable got a beautiful moonsault to the outside onto both Usos.
- Superkick Party and Usos Splash only gets two on Chad Gable! Not even one fall yet!
- The Usos prevent a German Suplex and superkick Gable three times for the first fall.
- Benjamin and Gable hit their finish on Jimmy Uso on the outside!
- A small package wins it for the Usos! Two falls in a row! Wow.
- That was unconventional in so many ways, and I enjoyed it
Men's Royal Rumble Match
Shinsuke Nakamura wins the Royal Rumble
- Rusev is number one, introduced by a very over Aiden English. Balor is number two. I love the hip throw Rusev does to him.
- Please let Rhyno be the only ECW alum in this match. He's in terrible shape. He gets tossed by Corbin, who gets dumped by Balor. Corbin gets mad and attacks Rusev and Balor. Then Slater, who is out too.
- Elias plays his way to an empty ring and kicks Heath.
- Andrade Cien Almas is next! He battles with Elias until Bray Wyatt comes out. He hits Heath, too.
- "Bray Wyatt hasn't made ANY friends since debuting in the WWE!" - Jerry Lawler, talking about Bray Wyatt, former leader of a faction
- Big E feeds pancakes to Heath, which Kevin Dunn almost misses.
- Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn attack Tye Dillinger, and Zayn takes his spot! I CACKLE every single time Heath gets hit.
- HEATH SLATER ELIMINATES SHEAMUS IN LIKE ONE SECOND ON HIS BIRTHDAY THE BOYHOOD DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!! Wyatt tosses out Slater. I will never in my life forget the 2018 Heath Slater Royal Rumble run. That was a ball. Sheamus lasted 2.25 seconds
- Xavier Woods out next. He and Big E said earlier that they wanted to make Kofi win. Apollo Crews out at 13. Apollo 13.
- Nakamura out and the crowd is singing his theme. He eliminates Zayn with a corner knee.
- Cesaro enters and almost eliminates Balor. Why would Almas help Balor? Well, Kofi comes out and gets clobbered by Cesaro. Crews and Cesaro tease eliminations until Crews is uppercutted out.
- Jinder Mahal is number 17 and eliminates both Big E and Xavier Woods. Rollins comes out next.
- Rollins has fire pants. Is he a liar? Well, he tosses out Cesaro and waves bye.
- Mahal chucks Kofi over but he's saved by landing one foot on Xavier, then on PANCAKES. They launch him OVER Mahal! Kofi eliminates Mahal and Jinder gets a pancake bath! Almas hits his finish on Kofi and tosses him out the other side.
- Woken Matt Hardy is number 19 and is SUPER over. He and Wyatt eliminate Rusev, who lasted 30 minutes. Wyatt and Hardy are working together, then come to blows. The annual spot of "wait, Wyatt is on the same page with this person? cool!" then he's not. They eliminate each other.
- John Cena is #20 and everyone attacks him, He quickly eliminates Elias and a returning HURRICANE!! Go to hell, John Cena. Aiden English is 22, Adam Cole is number 23! A big pop for Cole.
- English gets on the second and gets kicked off the top rope and out by Balor
- Randy Orton is out and works REAL smooth with the NXT guys, including a big RKO on Almas, who is eliminated after about 30 minutes. Looks like Randy Orton wouldn't be too bad in NXT.
- Titus O'Neil at 25. Miz at 26. Roman Reigns is the only previously announced name left.
- Miz goes for It Kicks on Rollins and Cena, then reverses an AA into a Skull Crushing Finale.
- REY MYSTERIO IS HERE AT 27! Rey Mysterio hasn't been in this kind of shape since WCW. He eliminates Cole.
- Roman Reigns is 28. Miztourage save Miz from being tossed, and get Superman Punched. Miz gets Curb Stomped and Shield Powerbombed to the outside. Reigns eliminates Rollins!
- Goldust is 29. Dolph Ziggler is number 30 and gets a pretty good pop.
- Ziggler eliminates Goldust and has success against Nakamura and Orton. Nakamura sleeperplex's Ziggler to the apron, and then Balor eliminates him.
- Reigns, Balor, Nakamura, Cena, Orton, Rey remain.
- Reigns eliminates Orton. Rey with a double 619 on Cena and Orton, but Balor tosses him out! Reigns, Cena, Balor, Nakamura are your final four!
- Whoever laid out this match did a good job with these four and the crowd.
- Slingblades to everyone, and a Mushroom stomp, but Cena throws out Balor! 57 minutes, 30 seconds.
- Aint no way Cena takes that suplex again, lol. Nakamura eliminates Cena!!! It's down to Nakamura and Reigns!
- A Superman Punch flattens Nakamura! Nakamura is on the apron and applies a triangle. Really stupid from a wrestling psychology standpoint. Reigns powerbombs him back in the ring.
- Second rope Kinshasa! Spear! This is wild. KINSHASA! Shinsuke Nakamura wins!!!
Raw Tag Team Championships
The Bar defeated Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan (c)
- This is in a rough spot.
- Rollins is moving around like a 190 pounder.
- Jordan keeps getting thwarted and is isolated and attacked outside. Rollins is doing this all on his own.
- Rollins is having the pain put on him. I feel bad that this match gets no reaction because of where it's placed. A double frog splash hits for Rollins.
- Jordan tags himself in and out because he's knocked loopy. The Bar wins the titles.
WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Braun Strowman and Kane
- Braun Strowman shoot knees Lesnar. Brock has a receipt with his FIST.
- Braun chokeslams Kane, but eats triple Germans. Powerslam through the table, but Kane breaks up the count!
- Lesnar F5's Braun into the announce table and dumps it on Braun.
- Lesnar F5's Kane on the table that finally breaks. LOL.
- Strowman kicks Lesnar in the face and Powerslams him. I see Strowman tell Lesnar to roll out .
- Strowman knocked out of the ring, F5 on Kane, Brock wins.
Women's Royal Rumble
- Mother Goose Stephanie, Alexa Bliss, Charlotte are all ringside. They said "she won't tell you how integral she was in the women's revolution" about Stephanie McMahon. Yikes.
- Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch are the first two entrants. Sasha and Becky both have great new gear.
- Sarah Logan is number 3. She gives Banks a nice pop-up headbutt. Mandy Rose at number four.
- Lita is number five! Lita has aged in in reverse. This is the most Lita has worked in a match since her retirement. Lita eliminates Mandy Rose.
- Kairi Sane is back for the first time since November. Stephanie doesn't know a goddamn thing about Kairi Sane. She puts over Chyna too. Hm.
- Tamina is next, she eats a DDT from Lita. Banks and Becky get Twist of Fates. Lita doing moonsaults that are dangerous for all involved still. She eliminates Tamina and gets dumped out by Lynch.
- Dana Brooke is up next, and she gets some shine and eliminates Kairi Sane. Well then.
- Torrie Wilson is next. Facebuster on Dana Brooke. Goddamn Torrie is trash in the ring. She tosses Dana.
- Sasha Banks keeps others from being eliminated. Odd.
- Sarah Logan looking at Torrie Wilson like "goddamn son lay em' in there, stomp a mudhole, we don't softball our kicks anymore". Sonya is in and eliminates Torrie.
- Liv Morgan comes in and Alley Oop bombs Sasha.
- Molly Holly!!! She eliminates Sarah Logan and hits an ugly ass Molly Go Round on Sasha, but she's in great shape.
- A SUPER OVER Lana is in and fires up briefly.
- Michelle McCool comes in rusty a spoon left outside in the rain, but it's good to see her. She eliminates Sonya and Liv. Questionable decision. Molly is out too. Lana too. Woah
- Vickie Guerrero is next, and she screams at everyone. This is wonderful. She gets tossed by everyone. She hits Carmella with the briefcase on the way to the ring.
- Natalya is number 18. She drops her cat ears on Carmella, and is dropped on the apron for it. Carmell and Becky have one of the sloppiest exchanges I've seen, before Lynch finally German suplexes her.
- Kelly Kelly comes in and she's as bad as ever. Natayla eliminates Michelle McCool in time for Naomi to come out. "Naomi's mentor Kelly Kelly." How dare you, Michael Cole.
- Ruby Riot eliminates Becky Lynch, as Sasha powders out for the fourth time.
- Jacqueline is in, then Nia Jax follows. Jax tosses Jackie and Kelly. Nia press slams Ruby Riott out.
- They're making Naomi the Kofi, she's caught by all the other girls and lands on the barricade. She walks over to a chair and slides on it back into the ring. She's caught by Nia and eliminated.
- Ember Moon! She's still wrapped up from last night but throws a hell of a working punch.
- Beth Phoenix. Swoon. The OG. She lifts Nia Jax, but can't get her over! The Divas Of Doom knock Nia through the ropes. Why have they had entrants powder out TWENTY TIMES? Natalya and Beth hug, then Natalya eliminates Beth.
- Asuka comes in and lights shit up, but meets Ember Moon. They have a great series that ultimately ends in Asuka essentially no selling Eclipse. She drops Ember's arm over the ropes to eliminate Moon. Mickie James enters.
- Nikkiharru Bellasawa comes in and gives strong style forearms to everyone, along with some other signature spots. She eliminates Carmella after a lazy effort to get Carmella over the top.
- Brie Bella is next. Knee Mode to everyone. Nia Jax briefly re-emerges to get knocked back down.
- Trish Stratus is in and looks great. She faces off with Mickie and eliminates her to a big pop.
- Everyone gangs up on Nia Jax. They eliminate her, but she didn't make it easy on them. It was a struggle.
- Sasha eliminates Bayley!!!
- Natalya applies a Sharpshooter on Trish Stratus. Stratus ends up kicking and eliminating her though.
- Sasha counters Stratusfaction and tosses Trish out! She backs into Asuka, but the Bellas help attack her. Sasha goes for the corner knees, but the Bellas catch and eliminate her!
- Nikki turns on Brie! Asuka head scissors' Nikki onto the apron and eliminates her!! Asuka wins!
- Alexa and Charlotte come into the ring -- and RONDA ROUSEY DEBUTS