Opening segment
- Shinsuke Nakamura comes out to a great reaction and cuts his "knee to face" promo.
- Zayn and Owens say they deserve a title shot instead because of the inept ref at Royal Rumble. Styles disagrees and suggests they face he and Nakamura. KO and Zayn decline and get hit anyway.
- Backstage, Daniel Bryan makes the match anyway.
- Then Daniel Bryan makes Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn for a top contender match next week.
United States Title Contender
Rusev (w/ Aiden English) defeated Kofi Kingston (w/ New Day), Jinder Mahal (w/ Sunil Singh) and Zack Ryder
5.75/10
- I think these types of matches are a little more suited for Jinder Mahal. When he slows down a match in a fatal four way, it doesn't get flat out boring thanks to other ingredients.
- Tom Phillips cracks up when Ryder misses grabbing the ropes on his suicide dropkick.
- We see Rusev and Jinder try to get on the same page. I think someone expected the audience to remember they were a team.
- Big E is throwing pancakes at the announce team.
- Sunil Singh grabs Rusev's foot on a dive attempt. Aiden English pushes him into a plate of pancakes and everyone is mad at Sunil. Everyone is kicked out. I've never been so sad to see all the managers get tossed out.
- There's a great breakdown that leads to a Staccolade, but Jinder stops it and hits a nice knee.
- Rusev helps hit a pop-up Rough Ryder on Jinder.
- Kofi is rolled into the Accolade. Rusev wins!
The Usos and Bludgeon Brothers
- The Usos have a teaser that they'll be appearing.
- What the shit are these graphics?! There is a cell door slamming every time
- How do the Usos not have their own cage match with weapons? An Usos Penitentiary match makes sense.
- They're interrupted by the BLUDGEON BROTHERS. They kill a couple of guys.
- Rowan holds one up forever and his facial expression is great.
- The Reckoning takes out one jobber, then the Crucifix Bomb gets the other.
Backstage Crappenings
- The phone promos are kind of weird, but it's less awkward than having someone re-ask the question they were just posed before an interviewer is forced to stare into space
- Tye Dillinger isn't happy about being knocked out of the Rumble match, and Baron Corbin isn't happy about anything. Tye Dillinger burns him with a MITB briefcase shot, and they're booked for later.
- AJ Styles ALWAYS shows up to talk game plans with his partners. Nakamura trolls AJ.
Failed Cash In
- Charlotte says she wishes she was in the Rumble so she could outlast everyone from the number 3 spot like her dad.
- I really think Charlotte should have echoed the sentiments of Rousey detractors that she took away from their moments.
- They're gonna need to change the Riott Squad's theme unless they want everyone to think Ronda Rousey is hitting the ring every week.
- Ruby Riott is about as good at delivering dialogue from shitty pre-written promos as you'll get.
- Charlotte fights off Riott Squad, but gets jumped. Ruby lands a nice kick, but Sarah Logan's cartwheel knees are so dumb. Liv's corner curb stomp is nice.
- Charlotte has no friends.
- Carmella comes out to cash in the Money in the Bank, but accidentally kicks the ref. This is great.
Baron Corbin defeated Tye Dillinger
5.5/10
- Tye Dillinger superkicks Baron Corbin right out of the gate.
- Corbin takes control but gets bicycle kicked in the face.
- I really feel like if Baron Corbin didn't have his finish they might move on from him. It hits, he wins.
Training Day defeated Breezango
5.25/10
- We see a brief return of Fashion Files, where Gable & Benjamin challenge Breezango. Ascension are still their best friends, which is kind of hilarious.
- I'm a fan of the Gable rolling kick.
- Gable and Fandango take a sick bump outside.
- Benjamin reverses a huracanrana into their finish for the win.
Shinsuke Nakamura & AJ Styles defeated Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
6/10
- Sami Zayn seems like he's getting upset by Owens yelling at him. He was upset about Nakamura taunting him earlier too.
- Zayn walks out on Owens, but is still on the ramp after the break.
- Zayn and Owens are so good at taking Styles' clothesline. They make him look like a million bucks.
- KO is saved by Zayn after a reverse powerbomb. Owens almost immediately demands a tag.
- Owens tags Zayn by chopping him on the chest. Zayn returns the favor.
- After catching KO & Zayn arguing, Styles gets clotheslined into February. Zayn takes a walk again.
- Owens does well for himself shortly, but Nakamura lights him up.
- Kinshasa wins it. I upped this to 6/10 because of the storytelling in the match.
- Zayn says backstage he and KO are still friends, but this is about opportunity. He cuts a good promo about Owens having his chances before.
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