Aleister Black reveals mental health struggles.
On NXT television, Aleister Black is a dark individual who keeps to himself. His real life attributes aren't far off from what we see on television every week. Speaking to Lilian Garcia on a recent episode of Chasing Glory, Black opened up about his fear and anxiety when it comes to communicating with others.
"I do sometimes feel that I have a disconnect communicating with people. I just don’t always get it, and I don’t know what ‘it’ is that I’m not getting, but I feel there is a disconnect between me and other people when I’m talking to them," said Black. "Is that me? Is that them? Is that where I’m from? I don’t feel (understood). I feel there is always a distance. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had an issue communicating. Not in the sense that I can't communicate, I feel like I’m never (understood), and I don’t understand them. There’s a disconnect." He continued, "I feel when I communicate with people, it's just a little harder. I have anxiety and certain mental issues that I think sometimes prevent me from having that connection that people have with each other. It feels like — you know when you watch cartoons, and they can’t figure out why the bomb doesn’t explode, and they put the wire in and everything explodes? That’s kind of how my brain feels sometimes. That wire that’s not connected, and when it does get connected it’s like....overload. And I don't know what to do with myself."
Black continued, discussing how past relationships affected him and how he's worked to change himself and his thinking.
"I was 28 or 29 and I had a conversation with my therapist and she said, ‘Have you ever been happy?’ It took me 10 minutes to answer that question. I honestly could not count one singular time where I felt I was happy for an authentic reason. I’ve been happy, but not authentically happy. At that point you have some revelations in your head going on. That is a big truth ball that you are giving yourself," he explained. "I had to change myself and I’m still trying to every day. I've had a lot of bad relationships. A lot of toxic relationships with people that I should not have been with. I wasn't good for them and they weren't good for me. They tried to change me and I tried to rebel against them. People always try to get me to save them, but I can’t even save myself, how can I save you? People see this powerful individual, but I'm a work in progress. I'm not what you think I am. That is a difficult message to translate," he said. "I’ve had women that were so head over heels in love with me that they lost all track of themselves and I was like, ‘This is not what I want.’ Now you’re making me feel like you’ve completely put yourself in my hands. I’m not responsible for that. There's been some growth in the last three years, especially in the last four or five months. I really decided, actively, to become who I want to be."
When asked by Garcia if he loves himself, Black said, "No. No I don’t. I hope so at one point. I believe that I will. It’s better than it was yesterday, and the day before that."
Black recently found love in the arms of SmackDown superstar Zelina Vega as two were recently married. The news came as a surprise to most as Black tries to keep his private life off of social media. Nia Jax joked about their marriage on social media, but the tweet was deleted.
