Welcome to another edition of
OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN
in this episode
BRAUN STROWMAN'S DAD
WAS THE BABE RUTH OF SLOW-PITCH SOFTBALL
AND NO, I AM NOT KIDDING
So a few weeks ago, Braun Strowman posted this picture of himself with his dad on his Instagram.
Of course, because I am me, I immediately started making jokes.
I toyed with the idea of doing an article about all the amazing manly things that Braun Strowman's dad looks like. I was just going to do it as a list:
Braun Strowman's dad looks like a retired circus strongman, who still gets out his giant triangular iron weights when he wants to get a pump in.
Braun Strowman's dad looks like the sea captain who taught Quint how to hunt great white sharks.
Braun Strowman's dad looks like the king of the vikings.
Braun Strowman's dad looks like Conan The Barbarian's dad.
You know, that kind of stuff.
Of course, Braun Strowman isn't really any of those things.
Because the thing he actually is is somehow SO MUCH MORE MANLY.
Braun Strowman's dad is the Babe Ruth of Slow Pitch Softball.
And I am not kidding.
Before I go any farther, let me give a hat tip right off the bat (no pun intended) to Matt Snyder of CBS Sports, who did the heavy lifting with the investigative journalism portion of this story.
Go ahead and click play on that video up at the top of the page if you haven't watched it already. If you have watched it already, go watch it again. I know you'll agree it's that damn good.
I'm going to watch it again right now, myself.
After we all watch the video, we'll all meet back here and discuss how awesome it was.
WASN'T THAT AWESOME?
How much did 1980s Braun's dad look like current era Braun?
Oh, yeah, and in case you couldn't tell from that AWESOME soundtrack, his real, actual, totally appropriate nickname was "The Crusher."
Now, his real name is Rick Scherr, but I think we should all just agree to call him Braun Sr.
Braun Jr. is a big boy, 6'8* and 385, and he got it from his papa.
Braun Sr. stood 6'5" and weighed over 310 bills. He was massive. The average NFL Offensive Lineman during that time was 6'2 and 280.
So he was big. So what, right?
Well, now comes the fun part.
Braun Sr. started playing slow pitch softball in the late '60s.
In one 1989 interview with the Orlando Sentinel, he said this:
''I must have hit 4,000 homers in those 20 years. I'd rather hit it over the fence because it's less running.''
WHAT A MAN HE WAS.
Four THOUSAND home runs.
In a 1986 story that ran about him in the Los Angeles Times, because this man was a NATIONAL CELEBRITY BASED SOLELY ON HIS ABILITY TO HIT GRAPEFRUIT SIZED BALLS FOR VERY LONG DISTANCES , it is casually mentioned that his team, Howard's Western Steer, was winning games by the balls-out-crazy score of 60-5 en route to winning six World Softball Championships. Also, and this is totally no big deal or anything, but Braun's dad apparently hit 451 home runs in 191 games in 1986.
And they were playing some of these games in major league stadiums. He once hit a ball out of WRIGLEY FIELD.
Like, ALL THE WAY OUT OF IT.
"They had 35,000 people there, and I just caught a good day, with the wind blowing out. I guess I hit six into the bleachers. The guy pitching finally threw me a real nice pitch, and I hit it onto that Waverly Avenue, or whatever."
It's actually "Waveland" Avenue, but who cares, that doesn't matter, whatever, he said. "Whatever."
Now you might be wondering, why didn't he play regular baseball if he was so good. Well, he did, and was pretty good at it too. Except he couldn't hit a curveball.
BUT HE COULD MASH THE EVERLOVING CRAP OUT OF A SLOW-PITCHED SOFTBALL.
And now his son, Braun Jr, is tipping over ambulances and attempting in-ring murder every week on Monday Night Raw.
He must be so proud.
I leave you with some photos of Braun Sr.