Welcome to another edition of
OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN
where I tell Brooke Hogan
that she is a nutbar
and should stop saying things out loud
in this episode
YOU ARE A NUTBAR, BROOKE HOGAN
PLEASE STOP SAYING THINGS OUT LOUD
Brooke Hogan is the nut-rageous daughter of Hulk Hogan, noted former wrestler and sometimes sex tape star.
She's been known to say some off-the-wall things, but what she just said about Ric Flair might just top them all.
In the above video, you can see that a TMZ reporter caught up with Brooke at the airport where she said she just got back from two weeks hanging out with her father in Tampa.
(That's not the crazy part.)
She also says that she and her dad talked to Ric Flair on the phone, and that "He sounded like he was all full of piss and vinegar."
Ric? Are you "all full of piss and vinegar?"
Story checks out.
That man definitely looks like he is "all full of piss and vinegar."
But you know what he looks like he is not all full of? ANYTHING ELSE.
Seriously, that man looks like an empty leather saddle-bag that someone just pulled out of a long-condemned silver mine.
And that's not an insult.
HE SHOULD LOOK LIKE THAT.
He nearly died. He was in a medically induced coma. His kidneys failed. He had part of his lower intestine removed.
Many of those closest to him have called his recovery a miracle.
As the man's shirt says he ain't dead yet, motherf*ckers, but he came damn close.
And according to Brooke Hogan, he might come back and wrestle again.
(That's the crazy part.)
Ric Flair is 68 years old, and with the way he lived, he probably lived two years for every one that a normal man might.
Which makes him A HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX.
And yet, when the TMZ reporter asked Brooke Hogan "do you think that's it for him as a wrestler?" she said:
"Guys like Ric are pretty indestructible ... they keep comin' back."
Brooke Hogan, you are a nutbar. Please stop saying things out loud.
Even if Ric Flair hadn't almost died, even if he didn't LITERALLY HAVE PART OF HIS GUTS RIPPED OUT, he would never come back and wrestle again. Nor should he.
Because, as we discussed, he is one-hundred-and-thirty-six years old. And one-hundred-and-thirty-six-year-old men should not wrestle, even if they have all of their guts and were not recently in a medically induced coma due to kidney failure.