At this point, we just find it's best to present to you Danhausen's interviews with complete context.
The watch-thieving, Fightful Magazine cover star Danhausen is set to be a free agent in a few days. Fightful spoke to him in person about how he's been since his unfortunate leg injury that left him sidelined.
One of the most-booked indie stars, Danhausen has an optimistic outlook despite the injury it would seem. Support him at LoveThatDanhausen.com!
Sean Ross Sapp:
“What’s up, you guys? Sean Ross Sapp here with a watch which I had to have repaired.”
Danhausen:
“You should give it to Danhausen. It’s probably why he broke his leg.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Why did you break your leg?”
Danhausen:
“Because you didn’t give him the watch.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Let’s get right to it. I ask you a million questions every interview. I never get a real answer. How’d you break your leg? Why’d it happen?”
Danhausen:
“Wrestling. What the hell are you talking about?”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“You wrestle?”
Danhausen:
“Sometimes. Sometimes Danhausen wrestles, but usually he does whatever the hell he does and the monies rain down upon him.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“It makes a lot more sense that we are in the same place at the same time so much now that I’ve learned that you wrestle.”
Danhausen:
“Yes. Well. Sometimes. Like Danhausen was saying, usually if it’s a tag team match. Danhausen got injured during a tag team match because he had to go inside the ring even though he said he did not want to, and his leg broke.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Was it right before or right after Mance Warner broke his leg?”
Danhausen:
“Literally minutes after.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“At the same place. I got messages from people. They were saying, ‘Mance has broken his leg. Danhausen has broken his leg.’ I’m like, ‘No, no, no. It’s one or the other,’ and they said, ‘No. They’re at the hospital together.’”
Danhausen:
“Yes, it was quite menacing. War Horse took Danhausen to the hospital and he believed Dirty-Dango took Mance Warner to the hospital.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I mean, that’s awful nice of them.”
Danhausen:
“Very nice. Why is it awful nice? Awful is bad.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Okay. Maybe egregiously nice?”
Danhausen:
“What does egregiously mean?”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I don’t know.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Did you see that Billy Ass and the Ass Boys are here?”
Danhausen:
“Oh, yes and quite wonderful. Danhausen just said hello to them. They thanked Danhausen for making them so famous.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“This is obviously Billy Ass’s career peak at this point. He’s never been more famous than what you’ve made him.”
Danhausen:
“Oh, no. He should change his name to Mr. Famous, but legally because his last name is Ass.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Is it legally? What’s his middle name?”
Danhausen:
“Danhausen just learned this. It is Billy Gunn Ass.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Billy Gunn Ass.”
Danhausen:
“The Ass Boys over there told Danhausen, ‘His name is Billy Gunn.’ I said, ‘Yes. It is Billy Gunn Ass.’ His shorts say, ‘Mr. Ass.” It’s his last name.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“That’s true.”
Canadausen (1:59-2:13)
Sean Ross Sapp:
“What’s it like being a Canadian now?”
Danhausen:
“It’s like being Danhausen, but you’re kind of Canadian.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Do you eat more maple syrup? Do you do any of those things?”
Danhausen:
“Sometimes, yes. You eat the cereals, you put maple syrup on them.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“So what’s your recovery timeline? Quite frankly when we do interviews, sometimes they sit in the can for a couple of months. ‘Cause you’re not giving me timely information here.”
Danhausen:
“Well, I don’t know. It might be a few months. You’ll have to wait for the doctor to tell Danhausen.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I thought you were a doctor.”
Danhausen:
“Why would you think that?”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I was under the impression that’s what the D stood for in Danhausen.”
Danhausen:
“No, the D stands for Danhausen. What the hell—give Danhausen your watch.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I thought you were a doctor! Dr. Danhausen.”
Danhausen:
“No! You’re thinking of Britt Baker.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“But you carry teeth around.”
Danhausen:
“Yes.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“So I assumed that maybe you had majored in dentistry or something like that.”
Danhausen:
“No, no. Again, you’re getting Danhausen—people do this all the time—confused for Britt Baker. They think we’re the same person. We’re not the same person for the record.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I saw you from a distance and I was like, ‘That’s doctor,” I said doctor ‘cause I knew it was either you or her. So I knew it was a doctor of some sort. But I was like, ‘That’s Dr Britt Baker, DMD,’ but it was actually you.”
Danhausen:
“It was actually Danhausen. It happens all the time out in public.”
Still Touring (3:11-3:59)
Sean Ross Sapp:
“You’re still here. You’re still making dates, hitting the miles with this injury. How’s it been navigating, traveling around? You’ve got your name written on your crutches.”
Danhausen:
“So no one can steal them.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I was about to ask, did you have a problem with people stealing your crutches?”
Danhausen:
“No, but now also they’re worth a million dollars.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“That’s true.”
Danhausen:
“They’re signed by Danhausen.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Has anyone tried to buy those from you today?”
Danhausen:
“No.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Would you sell them today?”
Danhausen:
“Today? Absolutely not. Then Danhausen would be stuck lying here all day.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“You could get a chair, I’m sure.”
Danhausen:
“No, Danhausen tried.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Really?”
Danhausen:
“No chair for Danhausen.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“That’s not the star treatment.”
Danhausen:
“No.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Especially now that I’ve learned that you’re a wrestler and not a doctor. See if you were a doctor, they would get you a chair.”
PT Cruiser (3:59-4:52)
Danhausen:
“Probably so. They should give Danhausen a PT Cruiser.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Okay, so, the PT Cruiser has been out of circulation for a while.”
Danhausen:
“You see them all the time, what the hell are you talking about?”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I know, but they don’t make new ones.”
Danhausen:
“Every single day.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“They don’t make new ones. What do you think about the Chevy Aveo? That’s kind of similar, right?”
Danhausen:
“No, no, no. Danhausen and the Rock drive PT Cruisers all the time.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“The Rock doesn’t drive a PT Cruiser.”
Danhausen:
“Yes he does.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“He’s got a Ford sponsorship.”
Danhausen:
“Tweet him and text him right now.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Right now.”
Danhausen:
“Yes. Do you have his number? Can I have it?”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Let’s do a video right now of you asking the Rock.”
Danhausen:
“For his PT Cruiser. Hello, the Rock! It is Danhausen. This fellow says that you do not drive a PT Cruiser and Danhausen says you do. We’re trying to settle a bet for a watch. So if Danhausen wins, he gets this fellow’s watch which looks very expensive and if he wins he gets nothing.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“There’s no way this is going to backfire at all.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“The Rock is also not a doctor. Did you know that?”
Danhausen:
“Yes he is. He’s in Jumanji and he’s in Jungle Cruise.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Did he play a doctor in Jumanji?”
Danhausen:
“Yes and he’s in Rampage where he plays a doctor.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“I think he just chases really big gorillas in Rampage.”
Danhausen:
“No, no. There’s a lizard he chases.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Have you ever wrestled a gorilla?”
Danhausen:
“No.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Dalton Castle. That’s close. Have you ever wrestled him?”
Danhausen:
“He’s a peacock.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“He is a peacock. What’s the difference?”
Danhausen:
“One is a bird and one is an ape. Why do you not know this?”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Let’s talk about someone kind of related to Dalton Castle. Somebody picking a fight with Dalton Castle—RJ City.”
Danhausen:
“Oh, yes. He’s nice.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“He’s neither a wrestler nor a doctor. What does he do now?”
Danhausen:
“PBS telethon master.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Yeah, that’s true.”
Danhausen:
“Easily.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“He is the most publicly funded ‘wrestler’ that I’ve ever heard of.”
Danhausen:
“He says, ‘Hello to Maude,’ also.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“That he does.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Where can people follow you? Where can people find you?”
Danhausen:
“DanhausenAD on Twitter and Instagram. ProWrestlingTees.com/Danhausen. Danhausen’s going for the number one spot this year.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Really?”
Danhausen:
“Oh, yes.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Are you gonna go for the number one PWI 500 spot as well?”
Danhausen:
“They do not seem to understand Danhausen even a little bit, so no.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Also you can find Danhausen at any local doctor’s office. He is a practicing physician.”
Danhausen:
“Well, maybe.”
Sean Ross Sapp:
“Check him out. Until next time, guys, we’re out.”