The Miz defeated Big E (w/ New Day)
5.75/10
- The Miz kicks off Smackdown and talks about Money in the Bank.
- They dick around for ten minutes about who is going to face Miz tonight. This is a giant waste of time. Miz puts over Xavier Woods' channel.
- This feels like it goes on forever. Miz is sick of the jokes. He isn't wrestling any of them. New Day shame him with pancakes.
- Miz runs into Paige backstage, and Paige makes him go back out and face Big E.
- During the commercial, Miz cut a promo about Smackdown being a "Billion dollar franchise"
- After Big E spanks Miz, New Day serves as Big E's cornermen and feeds him syrup.
- Big E's splash is HORRIFYING. He suplexes Miz about 82 times all across the ring before getting a uranage for 2.
- The Bar come down and attack New Day, causing a distraction and win for the Miz. Kofi launched himself off Cesaro to attack Sheeamus, which was pretty cool.
- Since November 2015, Big E has only lost ONE 1v1 match on TV, which was to Rusev. His second was tonight to the Miz.
Money in the Bank Qualifier
Lana (w/ Aiden English) defeated Billie Kay
- I love Aiden English accompanying Lana to the ring and giving her a special intro. It's so natural and babyface and great.
- If Lana could even be passable in the ring, she'd be a big star.
- IIconics come out and sing a duet about Lana being a loser. They slap Aiden, and Lana rushes to his aid.
- Lana with a huge kick and a facebuster! She wins! Man, that facebuster looked bad. Billie Kay barely left her feet.
- The crowd is going nuts. How will a Lana Money in the Bank appearance work?
- Lana has worked about 70 matches in the past year, so at least there's that.
Andrade Cien Almas (w/ Zelina Vega) defeated Local Wrestler
- I hope all this talk of the "finest" for Andrade Cien Almas means they abandoned that shitty Hawaiian Wade Barrett deal for Kona Reeves.
- Almas wrecks this jobber. This back elbow was sick. Double knees in the corner. Hammerlock DDT. Damn.
- The crowd might have reacted better if this run was prefaced with real vignettes instead of selfie promos.
Backstage Crappenings
- Carmella is wearing an Asuka mask backstage. Carmella SWERVES Dasha Fuentes and calls her a hater.
Styles/Nakamura
- Styles and Nakamura are in the ring, and Nakamura throws to a video, but it's actually kind of funny to see him do.
- Styles wants to know the stipulation, but Nakamura just keeps talking trash and saying they'll have a pillow fight. The crowd wants a pillow fight.
- This is Nakamura's best promo in WWE, and maybe ever in English, in my opinion.
- A brawl breaks out and Styles gets cracked with a chair and a Kinshasa.
- Eventually, it's revealed that they'll have a Last Man Standing Match.
Top Contender Match
Gallows & Anderson defeated The Usos
6/10
- Gallows and Anderson say Usos have blown it against the Bludgeon Brothers repeatedly. They call the Usos nerds and a brawl breaks out.
- I will take Anderson's flying neckbreaker over a blockbuster any day. He kicks one of the Usos off the rop rope.
- Anderson and Gallows have both gotten into the best shape they've ever been in.
- Gallows kicks out of a superkick and an Uso Splash, but the commentary team barely sells it. That's their damn finish that has won titles.
- Gallows and Jey trade superkicks. Magic Killer. Win!
Money in the Bank qualifier
Naomi defeated Sonya Deville (w/ Mandy Rose)
5/10
- I don't remember so many television regulars having such trash themes int the Jim Johnston days, but then again, the roster was a lot smaller.
- There's a pretty fun, different opening series between Deville and Naomi that sees Naomi do the splits, and Deville tackle her hard.
- Naomi and Sonya Deville trade kicks at the same time, and you really see the difference in quality.
- Naomi rolls up Deville for the win.
Daniel Bryan defeated Jeff Hardy
6.5/10
- Samoa Joe joins commentary. We saw Big Cass on crutches backstage earlier.
- Maybe don't bring up what Jeff Hardy "gets high off of" on commentary, Byron.
- Jeff Hardy gains the advantage before the commercial.
- The crowd has been hot all night. After a top rope battle, Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind. Bryan took care of himself on that one.
- Bryan goes after the knee of Hardy, but misses the last Yes Kick. Eventually he'll need to pivot.
- A Twist of Fate lands, but Hardy CRUSHES Bryan's knees on a Swanton. Bryan finishes off a Yes kick.
- Hardy is wrapped up in a heel hook and taps out!!!
- Samoa Joe taunts Bryan on the mic as the show ends. Well, it's Bryan vs. Joe next week.
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