RKOh no
- We see Miz and Maryse showing up.
- Wow, the Smackdown Top 10 list is still in canon. They're getting mileage out of that. Randy Orton says that he doesn't even care about that.
- Randy Orton cuts an awesome promo about how he doesn't change his merch to steal money from fans, isn't an indy darling, doesn't jump off of shit of all time. He doesn't steal other people's old catchphrases. He's the true legend of wrestling.
- This promo has been done before an awful lot, but Randy Orton is doing it really, really well.
Andrade 'Cien' Almas (w/ Zelina Vega) defeated Rusev (w/ Lana)
6.25/10
Producer: Mike Rotunda
- "You can laugh or not but that's actually what happened" from Rusev had me dying.
- No Aiden English out there yet. Lana and Rusev do their own taunt after stopping Almas and Zelina's "tranquilo" pose.
- These two go at it during the break, including a ring post spot on Rusev before slowing it down a little bit.
- Back from a commercial, Rusev cracks a nice kick across Almas. He follows up with a pop up knee and a head kick.
- Almas slaps Rusev HARD and it pisses off Rusev. Forearms land for Rusev, but Almas kicks him.
- Andrade Cien Almas just feinted a teep kick and went into the spinning back elbow. HOSE ME DOWN
- Machka Kick!
- Lana and Zelina fight to a HUGE Pop! Aiden English comes to split them up but Zelina jumps on English and they knock over Lana.
- Almas capitalizes on the distraction with a Hammerlock DDT!
- The crowd took this a step up. A fun match, a great crowd, Almas went over, and we got Rusev/Lana/English progression.
- Aiden English and Lana argue backstage, and Rusev says maybe neither of them are good for him.
Samoa Joe defeated R-Truth
SQUASH
Producer: Arn Anderson
- R-Truth is talking to Tye Dillinger, who hypes him up.
- Ron Killings has been signed to WWF/E or TNA every year since 2000. He's 46 years old.
- He gets a little offense in and Joe beats his ass and chokes him out pretty quickly.
Asuka defeated Billie Kay (w/ Peyton Royce)
SQUASH
Producer: Sarah Stock
- That was an effectively annoying promo from the IIconics. Asuka shouldn't have cut hers. It was bad.
- Billie Kay's sells are pretty hilarious. She gets her ass kicked thoroughly with strikes and an ankle lock and gets pinned.
- The first hour of Smackdown has been pretty good.
Backstage Crappenings
- The selfie promo fits well for people like Nakamura, who aren't that fluent and need short promos.
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED
- Paige brings out AJ Styles, who puts over WWE Evolution.
- James Ellsworth interrupts Styles. "Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is HOG" should have been the line.
- Paige calls Ellsworth a joke, and he makes fun of her for how she looks.
- Paige FIIIIIIIIIIRES Ellsworth. Security escorts him out.
- Samoa Joe attacks Styles from behind and signs the contract.
- Joe is backstage talking to himself, and Paige confirms he was the pick to face Styles, but that wasn't how things were planned. Joe calls her plan pedestrian, and his phenomenal.
If Becky Lynch Wins, She Gets A Title Shot
Becky Lynch defeated Carmella
5.5/10
Producer: Tyson Kidd
- Carmella approaches Paige backstage, and she's not happy about Ellsworth being fired, and says Paige is out of luck, because she's keeping her title.
- Becky Lynch gets a nice flying punch from the apron, but gets sent into the barricade.
- Carmella is bumping big time for Becky in this match, and stops her streak of offense with a Flatliner. Lynch turns it right back around with a Bexploder, though.
- Carmella's handstand huracanrana hits, and she almost gets the win by putting her feet on the ropes.
- Becky Lynch wins with Disarmher!
- A couple of days after I had Kelly Kelly stans in my mentions, Carmella had a better match on the ol' USA Network than Kelly Kelly did on cable TV.
Tag Team Contender Tournament Match
New Day (w/ Kofi Kingston) defeated SAnitY (w/ Eric Young)
5/10
Producers: D-Von Dudley, Scott Armstrong
- Usos are on commentary.
- Big E gets a hot tag on Wolfe and hits a bunch of suplexes.
- Woods does a really low elevation somersault senton onto Dain.
- Why is Kofi knocking Young off the apron not a DQ? Because Young wasn't in the match. This was a mess.
- Midnight Hour gets the win.
- The Bar return and cut a promo at the top of the ramp.
Premiere Party!
- Sin Cara tries to chat it up with Paige, Miz and Maryse.
- Is that a workin' baby or a SHOOT BABY?! Monroe Sky gets a pop. Miz says the mention of Daniel Bryan has put the baby to sleep.
- This is literally the same promo myself and @pawlowskithe4th pitched for Miz on the show months ago. Fantastic.
- Daniel Bryan interrupts their video, and comes to ringside and beats up security -- both of who take NASTY bumps.
- Miz tosses the baby to Daniel Bryan and kicks him. It's a fake baby! Like, what was Bryan gonna do? Beat up the baby?
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