- Kurt Angle comes out and says Money in the Bank matches are gonna KICK SOME REAL BUTT. As opposed to fake butt? I don't like fake butts.
- Braun Strowman wants his chance at Money in the Bank, and Kurt Angle agrees. Braun tells a story about tearing down a tree when people in his neighborhood as a child. I mean, cool man. It works.
- Kevin Owens isn't happy about all the handouts because he's really popular, so he decides to ask for a handout, which is kind of funny. Braun uses his catchphrase, and Owens is way wittier than him, but that doesn't keep him from being booked into a Money in the Bank Qualifier. He tells Braun to stop being a bad monster.
Money in the Bank Qualifying match
Braun Strowman defeated Kevin Owens
- A ref bump right out of the gate. He gets up really quickly.
- Strowman chases Owens around the ring, but KO tornado DDTs Braun off the barricade. Owens wants a countout bad, but doesn't get it.
- He does get a clothesline, however. Ringpost spot in a Braun match. No way.
- Braun using the chokeslam works so well for him, as does Owens using the Frog Splash.
- Owens superkicks Braun, but can't Pop-Up Powerbomb him. Instead, Braun runs over KO three times.
- Powerslam. Pin.
- Roman Reigns is backstage, where Mike Rome says "THE BIG DOG HANDLED HIS BUSINESS." Reigns claims WWE management is against him, but he's putting his destiny in his own hands. Any criticism WWE gets about forcing Reigns is justified.
- Selfie promos from Bayley, Breezango, Alexa Bliss & The Ascension promoting Money in the Bank.
Baron Corbin & The Revival defeated No Way Jose & Titus Worldwide (w/ Dana Brooke)
- Running back Nation of Domination vs. DOA.
- Baron Corbin's ceiling screams "2015 Ryback" to me. I don't think he's ever been over on WWE programming. He slings Apollo Crews into the barricade, though.
- No Way Jose gets the hot tag and he LOVES TO HAVE FUN!!! Apollo Crews takes a crazy bump outside when Corbin pulls down the top rope.
- Blind tag to Corbin, who hits End of Days on Jose for the win
Money in the Bank Qualifier
Ember Moon defeated Ruby Riott (w/ Riott Squad) & Sasha Banks
- There are a great series of STOs and reverse STOs. I'm liking h
- Did Vince give Ruby Riott the Trevor Murdoch "I hate your pasty white skin" speech? She's been tanning.
- Riott hits a combo reverse STO and DDT, that Ember scorpions on.
- Ember with a great floatover suplex on Banks, but Sasha hits knees, then a tope con hilo over the turnbuckle on Riott Squad.
- Riott gets a missile dropkick to the outside, but Moon kills her with a suicide dive!
- So uhhhh how long do WWE think they'll be able to keep Nia as the top babyface with matches like this going down?
- Sasha goes outside-in with a headscissors whip into the buckle!
- Bayley makes the save and attacks Riott Squad. Ember Moon hits Eclipse while Banks is trying to get Riott with Banks Statement. Ember wins!
- This match was great.
- Ember is interviewed after the match and seems nervous.
- This is all about Lashley's sisters. Wow.
- BRUH SHE ASKED ONE QUESTION WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LAUNDRY LASHLEY.
- I don't have a gotdamn clue who or what a Bobby Lashley is.
Jinder Mahal (w/ Sunil Singh) defeated Chad Gable
- Want Chadwick Betts to shoot on Jinder and pin him.
- Gable gets knocked off the apron and Bret Hart's a turnbuckle. He's making it his own. He also hits a flying armbar over the ropes and a moonsault press for two.
- Jinder lands a big knee, and a hotshot. Khallas and pin.
- Good ol 50/50 booking.
- Mahal attacks Gable after the match.
- Backstage, Zack Ryder asks to get a qualifying match, but Angle isn't having it. Jinder wants his shot, and Angle says "NO WAY BRO." Zack Ryder popped when Angle messed up the fist bump.
Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler defeated Heath Slater & Rhyno
- Heath Slater has McIntyre SCOUTED! Well, until he gets kicked. There was a funny face off here.
- Reverse Alabamaslam and superkick combo, then the Claymore Zig Zag.
- Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler have real potential as a team. I haven't been as interested in either guy in years.
Bobby Roode defeated Elias
- I just don't care that much about Bobby Roode. There's never anything new, and hasn't been since his first month of babyface matches. Meanwhile, Elias is always adapting and adding.
- I do like that the roster is trying to impress Kurt Angle into giving them Money in the Bank qualifiers.
- This is definitely a step up from the Smackdown mid-card, where we saw Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy.
- Roode's clothesline in the corner is good, as is Elias' belly-to-belly backbreaker. Elias powerbombs Roode for two.
- Elias tries to crush Roode's throat again, but ends up just slugging it out instead. This crowd is dead.
- Drift Away countered into a scary Glorious DDT. Roode wins. He has zero direction.
- If I were WWE, I'd prioritize long-term booking for people and characters that the crowd naturally cares about.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Seth Rollins (c) defeated Mojo Rawley
- Seth Rollins cuts a babyface promo and makes an open challenge.
- Rollins does a plancha, doesn't sell the injured knee, and then Rawley runs over Rollins in the spot that now belongs to Braun Strowman.
- Rollins with an enziguri and a clothesline to the outside. Suicide Dive for Rollins hits.
- Spinebuster from Mojo Rawley, and then the Hyper Drive, but Rollins kicks out. Eventually Rollins gets the win with the Stomp.
- That's the best match of Mojo Rawley's life.
- I already write a minimum of 3-4 columns on the wrestling side of Fightful per week, but I'm having a tough time being that motivated to write about anything besides Seth Rollins in that format these days.
Deleter Of Worlds defeated Stay Tuned
- Okay, I'm calling Axel and Dallas "Stay Tuned" in my reviews.
- Graves and Cole arguing about the Woken Universe is fun.
- Nice DDT from Bo, Side Effect from Matt, Ferrari Tank by Bray Wyatt.
- Double Sister Abigail for the win.
- This is a match to make Deleter of Worlds look strong. They've been booked stronger than AOP.
- Cole jokes that "there's no brotherly love there," between Bo Dallas and Bray Wyatt.
Money in the Bank Qualifier
Finn Balor defeated Sami Zayn and Roman Reigns
- Reigns slugs both guys, and as we come back from commercial Reigns is still in control.
- Marty Scurll-style "Too Sweet" chants. Balor and Zayn team up on Reigns. Coup de Grace on Reigns in the audience, then Balor gets clocked.
- Balor and Zayn go at it in the ring, with Balor getting a high velocity forearm.
- Coach covers for the crowd being silent by saying they're "distracted." Good cover.
- Eye of the Hurricane by Balor on Zayn, then a Slingblade on the outside. Zayn gives him some of the weakest stomps ever.
- Reigns flies over the barricade and takes out Zayn, then hits a Drive By. Superman Punch on Zayn. Slingblade on Reigns, but the Coup de Grace doesn't hit.
- Reigns Superman Punches Finn Balor, but Jinder Mahal trips him. Helluva Kick to Reigns, Coup de Grace to Zayn. Balor wins.
- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh motherfucker. They think feuding with Mahal will get Reigns cheered instead of just making people not care.
- No Kevin Owens to be found.