Welcome to a Monday Morning edition of
OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN
where I report on
wrestlers with super-powered penises,
hardcore legends with sock-based finishing moves,
and cantankerous old guys who hate everything
in this episode
MICK FOLEY GOT DICK-FLIPPED
AND JIM CORNETTE FLIPPED HIS LID
So, on Saturday night in Dublin, Ireland, Mick Foley tried to give the Mandible Claw to Joey Ryan, somehow missed his mandible and grabbed his penis, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Mick Foley has praised the invincibility of Joey Ryan's crotch in the past, and apparently had a grand old time adding to the legend of "Little Joey."
It's true. The crowd loved it.
But you know who absolutely HATED this bit?
Noted cantankerous old bastard Jim Cornette, that's who.
(*whispers* He's not really sorry.)
Actually, that's pretty tame for a guy who recently compared Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi to Hitler.
Still, he was hardly the only wrestling fan on the internet to get bent out of shape over this, and Mick Foley took to Facebook to offer his reasons for why he did the spot.
He posted this photo ...
and wrote this statement:
“So last night in Dublin, there was an incident involving a case of mistaken identity, and a leapfrog that turned an innocent attempt at a mandible claw into something far, FAR more sinister! I know Joey Ryan’s #DickFlip has divided the wrestling Community in a way we previously thought only John Cena or Roman Reigns could!
It has become the #IWC equivalent of the Trump/Hillary election – ending friendships, even turning brother against brother…brother! Son against Daddy…daddy! It’s quite possible Jim Cornette will never speak to me again after seeing this photo – a solid 28 year friendship over in a matter of seconds!
So why, you may ask, would I participate in such a potentially divisive penile palming? The answer is simple – look at the smiles. JUST LOOK AT THE SMILES! There is a smile, literally on EVERY face! In the end, isn’t that what it’s all about?
If applying the mandible claw to Joey Ryan’s genitalia last night was wrong…I don’t want to be right! Please let me know how YOU feel about this gripping problem!”
Joey Ryan was less magnanimous as he clapped back at his haters on Twitter.
Cornette is fond of saying that comedy spots like Ryan's are "killing the business." Ryan says this doesn't really make sense.
But subtweeting Cornette wasn't enough for Ryan, as he also decided to take a direct shot at Cornette, calling him "a cancer."
And if there's anything we've learned from Jim Cornette, it's that he'll definitely take this insult from Joey Ryan, consider it quietly, they decide it's better to just it go, rather than fan the flames.
Just kidding. We'll let you know what he Tweets when he sees what Ryan said.