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MONDAY NIGHT RAW
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Tonight, we sort through the aftermath of Hell in a Cell.
Charlotte is crowned Queen once again,
Brian Kendrick hits 'reset'
(I hate myself)
Roman Reigns is still a dick,
and Goldberg shows up, probably wearing a costume or something,
because it's the WWE HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR!!!
And that means we're definitely going to get at least three matches
that look something like this:
HERE WE GO
We kick things off with Bill Goldberg coming to the ring.
He's wearing a different zip-up jacket tonight. This one has a hood.
They're hiding his current physique from us, and it makes me frightened.
HE IS SWEATING SOOOOOOO MUCH.
Psst ... Hey Bill, if you're a little warm, how about taking that jacket off?
The "Goldberg" are pretty deafening here, wherever here is, since it's not Minneapolis.
Goldberg barely gets out a greeting to the crowd before Heyman interrupts him.
He says that Brock's pissed about the Goldberg chants, and so is he.
Heyman says that Goldberg can't think that he poses a physical threat to him, so he feels comfortable getting in the ring.
But he says he didn't come without backup.
He says that not only is his client a beast, but he's an impatient beast.
He calls for Brock's music.
It plays, but Brock doesn't enter.
Paul Heyman says "Gotcha!"
He talks shit about Goldberg's kid and says that Brock's going to beat him at Survivor Series, and Goldberg starts physically threatening Heyman.
Rusev's music hits, because Vince has decided that Rusev is no longer of use to him and he's going to bury Rusev so deep that sunlight will never touch him again.
Rusev comes down to the ring and says that he doesn't thing Goldberg has what it takes any more, and that he thinks Goldberg is afraid of him.
He punches Goldberg.
Goldberg no sells it, because of course he does.
Rusev throws another punch, but Goldberg blocks it.
He tries doing his high knees to the gut, but he falls over.
He tries the knee thing again, successful this time, and gets Rusev up for the Jackhammer.
Then he hits a Spear on Paul Heyman.
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