- Samoa Joe is moderating this contract signing. He rules. He calls Rollins "crossfit's favorite cult leader."
- Dominik looks way smaller when he's not standing next to Rey Mysterio.
- Rollins complains about Dom's kendo stick, and Joe takes it. Joe also scolds him for giving Dom no choice but to face him.
- Rollins said that everything he does is never enough for anyone. Dom says it will never be enough. His shirt is cut. That means IT'S GETTING RIPPED.
- Dom says his dream is to kick Seth Rollins' ass at Summerslam.
- Heel Seth Rollins gives us the return of the Rollins laugh, and I'm all for that.
- Rollins tells Dom he can use the kendo stick or any weapon he wants at Summerslam, so Rollins can kill his career before it even starts.
- I really enjoyed the contract signing. Well done all around. You can count Dom's promos on one hand and didn't seem out of his depth.
Seth Rollins (w/ Buddy Murphy) defeated Humberto Carrillo (w/ Dominik Mysterio)
- Humberto Carrillo is more tolerable since I don't see him every week, but Rollins shouldn't need help to beat him.
- Dom cracks Murphy in the ankle with a kendo stick.
- Rollins gets the foot up on a Moonsault. Superkick, powerbomb, Curb Stomp follow.
- A commercial right in the middle ate this whole match up.
- If you've watched wrestling, you knew Dom's shirt was getting ripped off when you saw the collar cut. It happens. Rollins and Murphy beat the shit out
- Seth Rollins mugs for the camera for Rey Mysterio at home. This is really good.
- They have a HIGHLIGHT video for RETRIBUTION lol.
- They have these dorks running around like middle schoolers. My hope is that this goofy shit is a total swerve. They throw a cinder block through a window.
- When does Retribution stick a bunch of plastic forks in Vince McMahon's yard?
- They threw over a goddamn car. Only not really.
- They should just build everything at the WWE PC out of the unbreakable plexiglass that surrounds the ring
Angelo Dawkins defeated Andrade (w/ Zelina & Angel Garza)
- Zelina denies that she had anything to do with the poisoning of Montez Ford.
- Dawkins has a rough looking overhead suplex. This is not a great performance so far from him.
- Andrade gets a nearfall off knees, and then gets punched midair.
- Bianca rips Zelina off the apron.
- Angelo Dawkins wins with a Spinebuster.
- I would not have had Dawkins win that match.
Bianca Belair (w/ Angelo Dawkins) defeated Zelina (w/ Andrade & Angel Garza)
- Bianca goes a great deadlift suplex out of a backpack. This was great
- Crucifix triangle by Zelina is really good.
- They sold me a ticket on the Springboard DDT from the eye gouge from Zelina.
- Zelina has some really good offense. A headsisssors into the ropes and the knees in the corner.
- Bianca catches Zelina with a press slam and powerbombs Zelina, then hits a buckle alleyoop.
- Bianca wins with the KOD.
- This was outstanding. Zelina should be used in the women's division more.
- Bianca says she and Montez keep their careers separate but knows Zelina poisoned him.
- Angelo indicates Montez will be ready for Summerslam.
Shelton Benjamin (w/ The Hurt Business) defeated Apollo Crews
- MVP complains about the lights last week and blames Apollo. Do he and Bianca not realize there are TERRORISTS on the air?
- Apollo trolls MVP about winning the title that MVP paid thousands of dollars for Apollo seems so natural tonight. His delivery was awesome.
- Apollo tosses the couch outside.
- This attitude out of Apollo Crews is what I've wanted to see. The guy that knows how good he is, and lets people know it, but is still likeable. Shelton Benjamin should have been that at one point, too.
- Apollo's flip out of the corner was great.
- Crews works from underneath in this match
- Nothing gets sympathy on a babyface quite like LOSIN'!!! That's what they have Crews do. The ol dumb babyface distraction roll up spot.
- MVP asks Lashley to keep Crews healthy. Crews kicks MVP. Cool.
- What a stupid booking decision, just to have Crews stand tall at the end.
Mickie James back
- Mickie James is back, and so are Lana and Natalya.
- Lana and Natalya are the new MEAN GIRLZ of WWE and call Natalya a #BOAT.
- Mickie says boats sink.
- What was the announcement?
- Let's not do standard "you ride your family's coattails" and "mean girls" promos for a while. Think of something creative for them.
Viking Raiders, Cedric Alexander & Ricochet defeated The Ninjas
- There's a real shitty Viking Raiders, Cedric, Ricochet segment where Ivar romances some lady.
- Squash Match.
WWE 24/7 Championship
R-Truth defeated Akira Tozawa (c) to win the title
- A ref stops Tozawa.
- Truth is one of the Ninjas and pins Tozawa
Peyton Royce (w/ Billie Kay defeated Liv Morgan (w/ Ruby Riott)
- We're already six matches into this Ruby Riott/IIConics feud.
- IIconics call Liv two faced and say Ruby has split ends.
- There was a double knockdown spot.
- Distraction finish! Peyton wins with the Deja Vu.
- Ruby Riott's interference backfired.
Riddick Moss defeated Cal Bloom
- Riddick Moss throws a punch with his back foot off the ground. Ill advised.
- I thought Cal Bloom was Dolph Ziggler at first.
- Some okay scrambles.
- The action spills outside into some DEBRIS.
- Riddick Moss goes for the eye of Bloom, then finishes with a nice combo and some stomps.
If Asuka wins, she gets a title shot against Sasha Banks
Asuka defeated Bayley (w/ Sasha Banks)
- I know I complain about it a lot, but the camera cuts are making it difficult for me to even digest the action, much less enjoy it.
- Would it surprise you if I told you this ruled? It shouldn't.
- Asuka suplexes Bayley into the corner and does a neat running, jumping stomp.
- Bayley's transition into the leglock is really good, but there was no actual hold applied. Not an ankle lock, not a kneebar, nothing.
- Asuka and Bayley trade holds into an Asuka leg lock.
- Seeing Bayley counter the spinning back fist was cool.
- Bayley does a flying elbow drop and a great sunset flip bomb.
- Bayley mocks Kairi Sane, and then gets tapped out by Asuka. Amazing.
Arturo Ruas wins
- Arturo Ruas was supposed to be called up a long time ago.
- Ruas looks less convincing with his strikes than most of the people not trained to strike
- That was probably the worst of all the Raw Underground matches yet. I've liked almost all the others.
- The strikes were light and they had to make the wheel kick look better with a cut.
Dabba Kato crushes some guys nutsack
- Dabba Kato kills a guy with a few suplexes that are way less good than the ones he did last week.
- Dabba Kato GRABS A GUYS DICK AND PUNCHES HIM.
Shayna Baszler destroys 3 women
- Shayna Baszler shows up and goes face to face with Dabba Kato.
- Shayna ends up challenging a bunch of women and beating them all up.
- I liked the Baszler aspect of it.
- The camera cuts undermine the purpose of Underground. Stop it. Shayna Baszler can actually beat the fuck out of people. She doesn't need special angles to make it look like she cant
- Drew McIntyre tough talks Orton in a backstage promo and says he and Owens will have to talk about the future if he beats Orton.
- Owens does a CANNONBALL PARTY. He really hit a hundred goddamn sentons in this match.
- I admire that no matter the size of the opponent, Orton flings them into the announce table like Sunil Singh.
- Orton counters the Stunner with an RKO.
- I appreciate a good win em in the ring, lose em in the ring.
- Orton wants Ric Flair to stay in the ring.
- Orton doesn't like that Flair ran his mouth and got him into this match tonight.
- Orton says he loved Ric Flair because of all the help that he gave him, and the times he bailed them out.
- He doesn't respect or love Ric Flair anymore. He's a liability. Orton says Flair wanted him to be the son he wishes he had.
- Orton says all Flair is good for anymore is crying. He's not the Ric Flair he knew. He brings up the coma, the pacemaker. God damn.
- Flair says he's taking this personal. He's not the old Ric Flair, he does like the spotlight.
- Flair wants Orton to break his record. He's got Hulk Hogan calling him asking what it's like to be on Raw.
- Flair says he can't get upset because when he almost died. He just wants to be Charlotte's dad and a part of Randy Orton's life.
- Randy Orton hugs him.
- Low Blow, and Orton slowly lets Flair down.
- Few things in wrestling make me feel like that Randy Orton/Ric Flair promo just did. That was a RIDE.
- The lights going out was a really creative way to get around kicking Ric Flair in the head. Good stuff.
- Drew McIntyre runs off Orton.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!