WWE United States Championship
Apollo Crews (c) defeated MVP (w/ The Hurt Business) to retain the title
- The lights have been going out and there have been some planned technical difficulties early on.
- MVP says Apollo Crews isn't the United States Champion since he didn't show up.
- There's not much to write home about here until Apollo does a tope con hilo onto the Hurt Business.
- There's a great Camel Clutch in the ropes by MVP.
- The lights dim again, and MVP sells it.
- Apollo Crews ends up hitting a Toss Powerbomb and winning his first match back.
- Lashley tries to slap on the Full Nelson, but Apollo Crews gets away from him.
- Apollo Crews is retiring the old United States Title. This was a pretty good promo.
- MVP takes a mic, and bitches about the lights. Apparently Tom runs the show. MVP wants a rematch at Summerslam. There is no automatic rematch clause.
- MVP is upset about Charly reporting on BOXES. Shelton's belt has been stolen.
- I don't wanna hear any of you all saying things I post aren't newsworthy when we just all watched a show reporting on BOXES.
- The Hurt Business is peeved, and wearing nice suits. They seem interested in Raw Underground.
Kevin Owens Show
Riott Squad defeated The Iconics
- IIconics want to be on the Kevin Owens Show, but he says he already has guests.
- Owens brings out Ruby Riott. She says she has been dealing with people like The IIconics for a long time.
- She wishes Liv Morgan was there to celebrate. Kevin Owens brings back Liv. He says he thinks they bring out the best in each other.
- Liv says she'll hear Ruby out because Kevin Owens convinced her.
- Ruby Riott cries and mentions the tattoo of their debut date, and Sarah Logan being gone.
- The IIconics come out and talk trash, and it looks like Riott Squad are on the same page.
- Peyton and Billie Kay slap Kevin Owens, and he asks Riott Squad for help.
- Ruby and Liv pretty quickly win a match.
- Drew McIntyre comes out and says he's ready for Randy Orton, and Orton probably should have been fired way more than Drew was.
- Orton interrupts, and has Ric Flair with him.
- Orton says he's made his money and he enjoys being there. He's there and hasn't been fired because he's the chosen one, not Drew.
- Drew says he remembered being in catering with his world crumbling around him and Orton didn't do anything.
- Drew didn't see a leader, he sees a SELFISH PRICK. He's gonna cash in his receipts.
- Ric Flair says he's worried about where Kevin Owens' career is going.
- Owens says if Flair is that worried about where his career is going, Orton can meet him in the ring next week.
Nia and Pat Buck
- Nia Jax pretends to apologize, then calls Pat Buck a scrawny runt who couldn't cut it in his own career.
- Pat Buck legit beat up Big Cass.
- Nia Jax wants to fight Pat Buck. He doesn't want to.
- He suspends her without pay. She goes off and headbutts him and knocks him out.
Akira Tozawa (w/ Ninjas) defeated R-Truth and Shelton Benjamin (c) (w/ The Hurt Business) to win the title
- Truth had stolen the title belt.
- Shelton Benjamin destroys Tozawa with a powerbomb and Truth with Paydirt.
- Ninjas get involved and MVP & Lashley beat them up.
- Tozawa wins with an unbelievable senton.
Shayna Baszler vs. Sasha Banks (w/ Bayley) goes to a No Contest
- Sasha and Bayley throw to a hilarious video of them, which is interrupted by a livid Asuka. They say the same thing MVP did about this "operation." Shayna Baszler shows up and punches Sasha Banks.
- This match rules right out of the gate. A lot of great moves and transitions.
- Asuka attacks Bayley. Why the fuck is that a DQ?
- Asuka isn't happy about Kairi Sane leaving. She wants a rematch at Summerslam.
- Shayna Baszler says she's cheering for Asuka so she can dismember Asuka after.
- Sasha Banks says Asuka can have a rematch if she beats Bayley.
- That "security cam" video was the corniest shit lol. They show people setting fire to equipment outside.
Angel Garza (w/ Zelina & Andrade) defeated Angelo Dawkins (w/ Montez Ford)
- Garza is flirting with some girl on the Bachelorette. Zelina gets her to hit the bricks.
- We're getting a series of singles matches. Dawkins mows down Garza.
- There's a great flapjack, too.
- A distraction leads to Angel Garza hitting a big dropkick to win.
- Montez Ford collapses in front of the table.
Montez Ford (w/ Angelo Dawkins) vs. Andrade (w/ Zelina & Angel Garza)
- Montez Ford had collapsed or something, but now he's okay and flipping over the top rope.
- Nope, he collapsed. End of match.
- Garza and Andrade and Zelina are trolling outside the trainer's room.
- Angelo Dawkins comes out and says he might have been poisoned.
- Bianca Belair blames Zelina and attacks her.
- God, Bianca is such a fantastic promo.
- We get a Rey/Rollins video. Buddy Murphy is also watching footage of him beating up Aleister Black.
- Dom Mysterio challenges Seth Rollins.
- Rollins blames Tom Phillips for making people angry and inciting rage.
- Seth Rollins says it's time to find a new voice of Raw.
- Samoa Joe stands up and protects Tom Phillips and warns them to step back.
- Rollins says Joe doesn't want to do this.
- Joe says he does.
- We go to an oddly placed commercial.
- Dominick whips both heels with a kendo stick and a 619 on Dominick. He dives onto both.
- Rollins is livid. The match is on.
- Shane McMahon shows off Raw Underground. It's a ring with no ropes and girls dancing and shit.
- I wonder if they realize 800 camera cuts during this "gritty, underground" presentation defeats the purpose.
- Babatunde has a new name and knocks out one guy, then does a great head and arm belly-to-belly suplex to guy number two.
- Later, Erik of Viking Raiders beats the living shit out of a guy.
- I like the execution of Raw Underground from an in-ring point, I just don't need the shakes, zooms and cuts. It undermines the impact of the ass whoopings.
- I'm all for seeing guys like Dolph Ziggler on Underground. There are a whole lot of people who have no idea how technically refined from a shoot perspective his grappling is.
- Bobby Lashley, still dressed up, knocks a guy out after a great gutwrench slam.
- MVP beats a guy too, with a camera cut for every elbow strike.
- Everybody leaves.
- SHELTON'S MOMMA HAS RETURNED VIA A PROMO MENTION!
- Shelton beats up Dio Maddin.
- The Hurt Business beats up a bunch of people around ringside.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
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