Opener
- Are we to believe that Drew McIntyre rented an ambulance?
- He cuts off Randy Orton and Claymores Orton.
- This was okay.
- Adam Pearce kicks Drew McIntyre out of the building.
- Adam Pearce vs. security for feud of the year.
The Hurt Business defeated Apollo Crews, Ricochet & Cedric Alexander
5/10
Angle 6/10
- The Hurt Business rough up a janitor after pretending he said something about Shelton's mom.
- The Hurt Business attacks Cedric Alexander before the match.
- Cedric Alexander turns on Ricochet and Apollo Crews and joins the Hurt Business.
- Apollo Crews & Ricochet for full-time tag team, please.
- Shelton questions whether or not Cedric came to his senses and threatens.
- We have a VIP Lounge where Cedric says he's tired of giving up opportunities for Ricochet.
- Ricochet, Apollo Crews, Viking Raiders come out and clean house.
The Hurt Business defeated Ricochet, Apollo Crews & Viking Raiders
4.75/10
- Ivar clocks MVP.
- Lashley spears Erik. I'm so over these combos already.
- Cedric Alexander drew in Ricochet.
- The crowd is really fake loud and hot right now, which makes me wonder why they made it so boring for other matches.
- The Neuralizer lands on Ricochet.
- Ricochet lands a full nelson suplex on Cedric.
- Everyone gets one of their signature moves in before an Ivar dive.
- Ivar just threw up an "X" hand signal after his dive.
- Cedric wins with a Michinoku Driver, but Ricochet actually kicked out.
- They brought attention to that after the match.
- Ivar had to get feeling in his hand.
Street Profits defeated Andrade & Angel Garza (w/ Zelina)
SQUASH
- This is the fourth Street Profits vs. Angel Garza & Andrade match since July 20. Garza & Andrade. There have been five singles matches involving them wrestling each other in that period, as well.
- Garza & Andrade can't get on the same page.
- Garza walks out.
- Spinebuster, Frog Splash.
- Cesaro & Nakamura come over and say they're challenging Street Profits as a part of the quarterly Brand-to-brand invitational.
- They congratulate Profits for holding the titles so long, but not defending them.
- STD joke on Cesaro. Weird.
Other stuff.
- R-Truth is having dinner. Akira Tozawa and the Ninjas attack and try to beat him up.
Peyton Royce defeated Billie Kay
4.5/10
- Of all the stuff they don't promote, a "losers must split" match, and their first match against one another.
- Kay and Peyton chain wrestle until Peyton hits a light wheel kick.
- Another light kick hits and Peyton Royce wins with her spinning brainbuster.
- She's going to need to lay her stuff in there a little more.
- Peyton hugs Billie Kay after the match.
Asuka & Mickie James defeated Lana & Natalya
4.25/10
- Mickie brought back the flappy pants, but there are no PANT to them. It's just a troll on me at this point.
- Mickie misses a dropkick by a mile.
- Lana hit a facebuster, but Asuka breaks it up.
- Mickie is on the top rope, but Asuka tags in and taps out Lana.
- Mickie lands a sloppy kick outside.
- This was really rough.
Randy Orton defeated Keith Lee via DQ
5/10
- Randy Orton does not want to do this.
- After some shenanigans, he goes for an RKO, but Lee just stops him by standing there.
- Lee gets tripped into the barricade.
- Orton misses another one. He hits another.
- Drew McIntyre Claymores Orton. That's it.
- At what point is Keith Lee just sick of Drew interfering in his matches?
- Adam Pearce is mad at Drew.
- Randy Orton is upset at Adam Pearce. He says Pearce's word means nothing.
- Randy Orton is hobbling out of the arena. Drew attacks Orton and does another Claymore.
Raw Underground
Aleister Black defeated a Jobber
Aleister Black vs. Kevin Owens
- I admire Kevin Owens' consistency in loathing Shane McMahon.
- Aleister Black just got back from a pickup basketball game and didn't have shorts with him so for sure stopped by Wal-Mart to get the reversible And 1's. He Black Massed a guy.
- There no is no consistency with how or what Raw Underground ends. I love the concept and can't understand the execution.
- This one ends after brawling outside the ring. Some good Owens slams.
- I think Owens got kicked in the balls!
- They brawl to the outside again, and Owens swings a triangle into a slinging powerbomb.
- hahahha Owens and Aleister still fighting is great.
- They go into Dabba Kato, who attacks both.
Handicap Match
Riott Squad defeated Shayna Baszler (w/ Nia Jax)
- I love the Riott Squad's gear.
- Me watching Shayna Baszler work the double wristlock offense, I love it.
- Baszler threatens to stomp out Liv's arm, but Nia trolls her.
- I would not do the "Shayna Baszler gets pinned in three minutes off a distraction" angle, even in a handicap match.
Riott Squad vs. Nia Jax (w/ Shayna Baszler)
N/A
- Liv dropkicks Nia Jax.
- Lights go out, and Retribution's logo appears.
- They say THUNDERDOME IS A FRAUD.
- LMAO what is this promo?
- They recycled Ronda Rousey promo scripts for Retribution, I see.
- Riott Squad is now undefeated in their last six matches teaming together.
Street Fight
Dominik Mysterio (w/ The Whole Mysterio Family) defeated Buddy Murphy
6/10
- Rey comes out with his family and says he's proud of Dominik.
- Buddy Murphy isn't happy, and blames them for Rollins turning his back.
- Rey cuts a terrible promo about Murphy choosing a SON OF A B to follow. Dominik is not that much better in accepting the street fight.
- Buddy cracks Dominik with a nice knee and they throw each other over the announce table.
- Dom flies off the video board. This was impressive.
- Murphy wails away on Dominik with a chair and he kicks out. Is nothing sacred?
- Angie and Aaliyah help Dominik out of the ropes.
- That sunset flip bomb was hecking cool. Outside the ring, through the table.
- Murphy kicks out of a frog splash.
- They tie up Murphy and beat him with kendo sticks. Aaliyah and Angie got in on it too!
- I am howling at this great family beatdown. Murphy quits, but they just keep going.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
