Humberto Carrillo defeated Andrade (w/ Zelina)
- There's no way this match won't annoy me. Either Andrade wins and it was a 50/50, or Carrillo wins and and semblance of momentum for Andrade is gone.
- Fortunately, Andrade avoids the dumb waiting spot by pushing Humberto off the top rope.
- There's some decent work here from two very athletic guys, I just can't be arsed to care any time Carrillo is in the ring. Why should I? Someone being new and being able to do neat looking moves is not enough to get me to care about them in a wrestling match every week.
- That was far and a way one of the dumber double foot stomp spots I've seen in wrestling. How on earth can I invest in anything when I see someone holding themselves up, waiting to get stomped onto the apron for ten seconds?
- Andrade is busted open. Zelina is on the apron getting involved.
- Humberto hit an awesome inverted super Frankensteiner and a moonsault for the win.
- Great action and athleticism, but replacing one nonsensical spot for another doesn't do it for me.
- Andrade argues with Zelina after the match.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
New Day (c) defeated The Revival
- The Revival cut a great promo on Booker T and challenge him to find Stevie Ray and face them.
- Revival have to wait around on Kofi to bounce around onto them, too.
- Kofi does the see-saw spot as well as anyone after being pushed out of the ring.
- Scott Dawson flying around with dropkicks to knock people off the ladder.
- WWE wrestlers have done a good job at making me think they have suffered horrible double compound fractures when they aren't hurt at all. The next generation of selling seems pretty good to me.
- Kofi does a great tornado DDT and Trouble in Paradise, but gets Shatter Machine'd.
- The Big E YOLO dive always looks insane.
- Dawson misses the ladder with Big E on a ladder plex, but Wilder splashes him through it. This was a happy accident, but damn.
- Big Ending off the ladder on Dash! Kofi smashes the belts into Dawson's face, and he goes through a ladder.
Aleister Black defeated Buddy Murphy
- The crowd is there for the early exchange.
- Aleister Black in some nice olive green gear. He's busted open early.
- This match isn't quite clicking after Black's nose gets broken. There's lots of time killing. That changes pretty quickly.
- Black gets the crowd back up for his offense, and the two go back and forth.
- The action his hard hitting. A great knee from Black, Cheeky Nandos and a powerbomb from Murphy.
- Murphy uncorks an awesome combo that doesn't get the win. Aleister Black with a perfectly placed Black Mass off a slipped strike does, though.
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
The Viking Raiders (c) vs. The OC ends in a double countout
- The OC answer the challenge and say this is about Viking Raiders avenging their only loss. The Viking Raiders have already beaten the OC like four times, so I dunno why they'd be that hung up on losing to them once.
- There are a bunch of people eating KFC at a table next to the ring.
- I loved the drop down trip at the beginning of the tag title match. That's what the drop down is designed for, and it almost never works. OC and Viking Raiders didn't miss a beat.
- Ivar missed by a mile on that handspring. It really wasn't needed. Gallows breaks up a pin off a Viking Experience.
- Double countout. The crowd isn't happy.
- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I only wanted that table spot if the food flew all over the audience. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
King Corbin defeated Roman Reigns
- Reigns destroys Corbin's cohorts and it rules.
- Corbin wearing wrist tape is new. He hits a Deep Six and beats Reigns with a chair.
- I remember Elijah Burke explaining wrestlers wearing street clothes to street fight and hardcore matches on commentary, and I loved it -- their gear costs lots of money, and they don't wanna tear it up in matches like that.
- Reigns gets a table, to the joy of the crowd, but Corbin chokeslams him through it.
- Dolph Ziggler shows up and helps Corbin attack. "LISTEN TO YOUR KING WHEN YOU'RE COMMANDED TO" is a real line used by a 39 year old dude on TV.
- Ziggler attacks Reigns with a chair and a Zig Zag. Revival are out and hit a Shatter Machine. End of Days is next. That's it.
- This is very Sheamus as champion in late 2015ish.
Bray Wyatt defeated The Miz
- We see a way, way too long video package for this.
- There is no reaction for Bray Wyatt initially. It picks up as his character shines through. By the time the match starts, it's a very good reaction. Bray saying "I'm REALLY excited for this!"
- Miz is attacking, but damn, he's slow. He reverses a Sister Abigail with Skull Crushing Finale.
- No pin attempt from the Miz. Wyatt is laughing.
- Miz breaks Wyatt's arm, and Bray runs into the barricade to pop it back in.
- Sister Abigail wins it.
- The Fiend appears on the TitanTron and Wyatt grabs a sledgehammer.
- Bray yells "he's here!" Daniel Bryan is here. Big knees, big chants, and a new look for Bryan.
Lashley (w/ Lana) defeated Rusev
- Rusev says he'll be happy if Lashley marries Lana because he won't have to pay alimony.
- I do not care about this match.
- Lashley gets knocked off the apron over the table. This was a pretty creative spot.
- Lashley beats Rusev with a kendo stick, then vice-versa.
- Lana jumps on Rusev's back. Lashley tries to spear Rusev through a table, but has to suplex him instead.
- This sucked ass. I'm a lot less forgivable to PPV matches than TV matches.
- Roman Reigns/Baron Corbin, Street Profits & Gable/Buddy Murphy, Big E/Ziggler, Kofi/Revival were the guys being matched up fighting backstage after this match.
- Excited for the "they made Kairi look so weak" takes from a match with two of the most over women in WWE history facing her.
- Warriors hit a good chair dropkick on Charlotte.
- The Horsewomen assisted alley oop bomb Asuka into the post.
- Why didn't one of Becky or Charlotte just climb up and get the belts when Kairi was throwing shit?
- There's a great spot where they pull Kairi from under the ring with a fire extinguisher....BUT WHY WOULD THEY!?
- Becky Lynch has to pretend to be tied to a ladder.
- Kabuki Warriors attack Charlotte, but Becky gets free and flying ass drops Asuka through a table.
- Kairi eats shit trying to elbow drop both opponents through a table. Charlotte then powerbombs her through one.
- This might be the worst match I've ever seen Kairi Sane have. There's not a large pool of bad performances.
- Charlotte gets slammed through a table at ringside.
- Becky Lynch is on the ladder, but Asuka pulls it over with a rope. Asuka wins. She has Becky Lynch's number.
- Rating guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!