WWE United States Championship
Sheamus (c) defeated Ricochet to retain
Ricochet answers the open challenge. That's cool. He is wearing slacks, is billed as 217 pounds and is as good as ever. Sheamus fish hooks him. Gross, but cool. Ricochet does a great series of standing star press and Lionsault. Sheamus landed a couple of sick ass knees and the last one got the win. Ricochet attacks Sheamus, steals his clothes and puts them on. Why is he laughing? He just lost. They're starting a feud with Ricochet losing. Wow.
WWE Raw Women's Championship
Rhea Ripley (c) defeated Asuka and Charlotte Flair to retain
One match in and I've already heard ten "Woooaaaah!" calls from Adnan. The chemistry issues with Asuka and Rhea Ripley seem rectified. It feels like forever since we've seen a Raw Women's title match be a triple threat, and it's really good early. The pace of this is really fast, which is different than most matches we've seen from Ripley and Charlotte of late. Bless them for going for the double superplex instead of the Tower of Doom. Charlotte is adding so much to this match, she goes double chop block and double Natural Selection. There are constant fantastic transitions and reversals in and out of finishes, specifically with Asuka's Asuka Lock.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Title
Mysterios defeated Dirty Dawgs (c) to become champions
Dominik gets attacked backstage and Rey won't let him compete. So Rey is just doing a handicap match. Roode clobbers him with a big clothesline. There's an incredible inverted powerbomb Fameasser. After getting his ass whipped, Dominik pops up on the apron. He also gets his ass whipped. This match is pretty solid, with Dolph and Roode stepping up their offensive game. Rey takes out Ziggler with a sunset flip bomb into the barricade. Baby Champ wins with a frog splash. The first father-son duo to win the tag team titles.
Lumberjack Zombie Match
Damian Priest defeated The Miz (w/ John Morrison)
Zombies are the lumberjacks. Yep. Zombies. It's to promote Batista's new movie, and Priest said that he didn't care if aliens or zombies were the lumberjacks. This is the dorkiest shit. They run Morrison and the commentary team off. Both wrestlers have to fight off zombies at some point. This is so stupid. "It was smart! I bet they got paid a lot for this zombie spot" -- someone, somewhere when anyone will mention this sucks out loud. Looks like Priest landed on Miz's knee, but Miz is still working. Morrison coming out and going action movie star on the zombies is the only redeemable quality. Okay, Damian Priest has beaten Miz four times. Let's move on. Zombies eat Miz after the match. Miz went from WWE Champion to eaten by Zombies in a few months.
WWE Smackdown Women's Champions
Bianca Belair (c) defeated Bayley to retain
A really good story within this match, that Bayley is making fun of the "rookie" all night. We establish early that they're not going the hair route for this match, but Bianca Belair is working from underneath. A former champion like Bayley working over Bianca Belair is believable and effective. Bianca is so good at being sympathetic and working from underneath despite being convincingly dominant as well. Bayley whiffs on a suicide dive. There's a great finish where Bianca counters a Rose Plant and ties up Bayley with her hair for the pin. Bayley is livid. They're both so good at this.
Bobby Lashley (c) (w/ MVP) defeated Braun Strowman and Drew McIntyre
Holy shitballs, Strowman did a cannnonball of the apron. These three are beating the pissing butt out of each other. Huge slams from everyone. Stair spots, slams and suplexes on the ramp. Lashley gets ran into something behind the set that explodes. Strowman is doing sentons and stuff. These Sirloin Beef Sunsabitches are going at it. It's incredible. Exactly the explicit display of violence you want out of them. Drew busts out a Michinoku Driver on Braun Strowman! Geez. Again, I so wish an audience was there to see this match. Unreal. Strowman catches Drew midair and powerbombs him through a table. Drew hits a Claymore, but Lashley is back! Drew is thrown out, Lashley spears Braun to retain. I'd say that's the best Braun Strowman match involving three or less people ever. I liked the Summerslam 17 four way more, but he was way more involved in this one.
WWE Universal Championship
Roman Reigns (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Cesaro to retain
We see more Usos drama from throughout the night with Roman Reigns. Jimmy Uso makes sure to clarify that Jey is Roman's bitch.
Cesaro has a fantastic early showing with a 360 dive over the top, a European uppercut into the barricade and a Sharpshooter. Reigns is making him look like a million bucks early, as if he needed it. Cesaro's arm is targeted and we're seeing some of Reigns' best in-ring heel work. This is an incredible match and a good, simple story. The winner is not in doubt, but I don't care. I'm here for the ride. The Spear is countered with the uppercut, but Cesaro's arm gives out an a Guillotine is applied. Cesaro slams his way out of it, and applies a Sharpshooter. Cesaro even switches arms to apply the Sharpshooter because one is hurt and switches into a Crossface! Wow.
An exhausted Cesaro barely kicks out of a powerbomb, and barely gets out of a Guillotine, only to have it adjusted and he passes out. LanceAdelphia said to me "Idk if its the best match of his career, but its definitely the greatest match of his career." A perfect example. Cesaro selling the effects of waking up surprised after being put to sleep. I loved every single thing about that match. That's why I prefer clean finishes. Cesaro isn't hurt ONE BIT by that clean as a sheet loss. Win em in the ring, lose em in the ring.
Jey Uso comes out and puts the lei on Roman Reigns. He superkicks Cesaro. Seth Rollins comes out to get face to face with Roman Reigns, but instead attacks Cesaro. He Pillmanizes the arm of Cesaro.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own! Our opinions mean exactly the same amount as yours.