Sean Ross Balls (7/9): GBOF Match Ratings, Review, Notes, Analysis

Pre- show

• How long before Dana is back in NXT? I think it's best for all parties. Either way, Emma comes to get her.
• I honest to god thought Otunga was Darren Young. I even put that it was good to see Darren Young in my show notes initially.
• Charly Caruso doesn't have the personality of Renee Young, but she's so good in her role asking someone like Paul Heyman questions.

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WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) defeated Akira Tozawa (w/ Titus O'Neil)
7/10

• If WWE is doing a bunch of video packages every week, why not a 2-3 minute 205 Live primer on Raw?
• Vic Joseph says Tozawa has "tandem offense," but he's one person. He also has the "ooh" problem, but it's not as bad as Tom Phillips.
• Tozawa and Neville are realllllll good. 
• Neville did a front dropkick that didn't look like it hurt him more than the other guy.
• I loved the match, but the result was never in much doubt.
• Neville rolls out of the ring after a senton bomb, which was good.  Neville crushed Tozawa's #GreatBalls.
• Neville's reign of terror continues. He's appropriately the face of the division.
• Later, Tozawa demands Titus get him a rematch.

Bray Wyatt defeated Seth Rollins
7/10

• They had to put this match here or no one was going to care about it. Wise decision.
• Rollins hitting a Falcon Arrow on Wyatt was an impressive sight.
• I get the feeling these two had something to prove. 
• They worked so well together, especially in this slot. I'd imagine they won't be opening the show in their inevitable re-match. Because one match is never enough.
• Wyatt gets a surprise win. Bray Wyatt is now Undisputed WWE God or something. 

Backstage crappenings

• The Hardy Boyz cut a bad scripted promo.
• I want to see Todd Grisham pronounce Great Balls of Fire in Japanese.

Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore

• This is the first singles match on PPV for both Enzo and Big Cass.
• Enzo's promo work is better as a singles.
• Cass' new theme isn't too hot.
• Cass using a modified crossface chickenwing. Enzo sells his ass off. Cass is whipping his ass. Cass wins with a boot.
• Loved everything about that match.

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships
Iron Man Match
Cesaro & Sheamus (c) defeated The Hardy Boyz
6.5/10

• Sheamus Brogue kicks Matt and pins him in 19 seconds. Great open. Sheamus is the #20SecondMan.
• A whole lot of posing in this match to wind that clock down.
• Sheamus and Ceasaro get another pin, but I'm not sure what Cesaro added to that finish. He barely touched Jeff. 
• Cesaro smashed himself into the buckles a few times on the Matt spot. It's been an off night for Cesaro 12 minutes in.
• Jeff hits an awesome assisted tope con hilo on both guys!
• The crowd is REALLY hot for these last 5 minutes. You could watch nothing but the last 10 and be fine, even though it's good. 
• I thought the Hardyz had an extra fall, but it was a split second call.
• Cesaro pinned Jeff Hardy after a Swanton on Sheamus. SMOOTH. 
• Matt was bleeding bad.

WWE Raw Women's Championship
Sasha Banks defeated Alexa Bliss (c) by countout
7.25/10

• The ol' Alexa arm trick! And of course Cole's commentary is wack. Hell of a forearm followed.
• Alexa and Sasha are working stiff and doing some really hard-hitting spots.
• Sasha's gear is cool. 
• If you wanna do the "why don't you give up?" deal, I'd wait until after like four minutes into the match.
• Alexa and Sasha hit a lot of unconventional spots and bumps. 
• Bumping three times off of the comeback spot is overrated. Sting was ahead of the curve.
• Awesome Infrared from Alexa Bliss. Outstanding match so far. 
• Alexa Bliss gets counted out. Sasha goes after Alexa and they brawl. Sasha teabagged Bliss!! 
• They end up on the announce table.
• JESUS HOWARD OF FLYING KNEES

Intercontinental Championship
Miz (c) (w/ Miztourage) defeated Dean Ambrose
4.5/10

• Miz and Ambrose in the death slot, which would have been anywhere on this show.
• Putting this title in a feud that people have seen 300 times knocks it down from where it was elevated last year.
• Ambrose's mouth gets cracked open early. 
• Miz wins. This wasn't great.

Ambulance Match
Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns
7.75/10

• This is violence, as was expected.
• Braun Strowman no sells chairshots to the arm, and Reigns reacts appropriately.
• How does one learn to take an ambulance bump?
• As long as there is shit to be torn up, I will never be tired of a Strowman-Reigns feud.
• Reigns sends Strowman through an LED wall.
• Worth noting they finally found someone to make me buy Reigns as an underdog. It took like four years, but they did.
• Reigns spears himself into the ambulance! Strowman wins!!
• Reigns attacks and drives Strowman off!
• That was shaky cam appropriate because I'm like what the shit is going on
• HE JUST KILLED BRAUN STROWMAN. 
• Feud of the century. 
• I'm waiting for Roman Reigns to pop out, attack Noble and reveal himself as his stabber too.
• Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins too, by the way.
• They need the JAWS OF LIFE to get Strowman out. 

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul Heyman) defeated Samoa Joe
8/10

• I went to take a piss and Brock Lesnar is napping on a pile of table wut da hayo.
• This is my kind of match.
• They are going at it--- CHOOTIN'.
• Lesnar, always vulnerable to kicks to the penis.
• Samoa Joe can hang with Brock Lesnar. 
• 7 minute Lesnar matches kick ass.