All Elite Wrestling Power Rankings - Week Thirteen

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Here's how it works; I rank anything and everything from the past week of AEW Dynamite, giving what I liked a low number and what I didn't like a higher number. The numbers are fairly arbitrary, but an explanation accompanies each ranking. Because AEW won't use the same talent every week, you won't see the same people, places, or things ranked every week. If you don't see something ranked, feel free to ask me on social media (@jeremylambert88) where it would fall. I will use a random number generator and reply ASAP.

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If you missed anything from AEW Dynamite, check out Fightful's full report on the show. You can also catch up on where things stand with last week's Power Rankings.

AEW Power Rankings - Week Thirteen

1. SCU

A big victory over The Young Bucks in the main event put Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky at the top of the power rankings. And they needed just ten minutes to do it. A record setting performance by SCU. Can anyone stop this dynamic duo?

2. Kris Statlander

Statlander defeated Britt Baker to become the number one contender to the AEW Women's Championship. Sure, she got spiked in the eye with a high heel. But that takes nothing away from her victory. Who uses a frickin' shoe anyway?

3. The Lucha Bros

They were all over this show. First, they defeated the team of Hangman Page and Kenny Omega. That's a big win, but they are docked a bit due to Page and Omega's miscommunication. And they are docked for randomly backing away with Hangman showed up after they attacked Omega. Do they fear Cowboy Shit?

4. Tag Team Wrestling

It's very important. You wouldn't believe how important tag team wrestling is in AEW. Every match is a tag team match. Even the singles matches are actually tag team matches. The invisible men or women are their partners and they are never tagged in. Just trust me.

5. #JoinDarkOrder

This is the best cult ever. I don't think it can be understated the kind of training that The Creepers go through. They took out The Young Bucks and SCU after only a 10 minutes match, Daniels, Cody, Dustin, Omega. All feel to The Creepers. These are some of the best professional athletes in wrestling. And yet they were no match for The Creepers, who we've never seen wrestle. Join Dark Order. Learn how to whoop some ass.

9. Fuck Em Up Chants

I just assume everyone in Corpus Christi -- at least those that attended AEW Dynamite -- reads the Power Rankings. Because we got a "Fuck Em Up Darby" chant this week. I appreciate the support. Tell your friends.

10. The Big Fight Feel

Kudos to AEW for the Jungle Boy video packages. It really helped put him over as a threat even though he hasn't won a match. It reminded me of the old UFC Countdown specials when Patrick Cote was about to face Anderson Silva. Cote was treated like a joke going into the fight, but those Countdown shows made it seem like he had a chance.

16. Cody's Theme

It rules. That's all. I just really like it and it gets stuck in my head often. It's now stuck in your head. You took it all away, I give it all away.

21. Cody Cutter

A CUTTER WON A MATCH! God bless Cody for trying to establish secondary moves as finishes.

27. Aubrey Edwards

She's great and should be the referee for every match.

33. Luchasaurus vs. Jake Hager

Arguably the hottest feud in AEW. Hopefully, it's a two out of three falls contest. First fall is a MMA fight, second fall is a college-level debate, and the third fall is a wrestling match.

42. Pac Being A Bastard

Very interested in finding out what Pac did to/with Michael Nakazawa. My theory is he just stole the baby oil, Nakazawa chased after him, and Pac squirted the baby oil on the floor, causing Nakazawa to slip. That's some Bastard shit.

50. Cartwheels

I like to imagine Statlander traveling to different planets via cartwheels instead of spaceships.

60. Walls of Jericho

Maybe Jungle Boy has Jungle Strength. But the Walls of Jericho did not do much to him. He sat in the move for roughly 90 seconds and a minute later, was able to skin the cat and nearly defeat the World Champion. I would think the move would be more painful today than it was years ago because Jericho is pressing more weight down in 2019.

64. Commercial Break Angles

Watching Kenny Omega run through the hall checking doors like an episode of Scooby-Doo is very distracting from that delicious Big Mac.

70. Other AEW Themes

Have you noticed how generic every theme is? Aside from Cody's theme, the only other good AEW themes are Jericho's and Hangman's. The rest of them have a silly one line intro and may as well be Emo Rock Track #2.

78. Brandi Rhodes' Mic

It was working, but she didn't think it was working. So she worked herself into a worked shoot?

80. The Nightmare Collective

Just filling for time.

90. Jungle Boy Jack Perry

Nope.

91. Jungle Jack

Not quite.

92. Jungle Boy

Maybe.

93. Whatever The Hell You Want To Call Him

There we go.

100. Jim Ross Giving Women's Weights

This spot is permanently reserved for Jim Ross at this point. I understand wanting to put over the weight difference. But we see it. We don't need Ross giving exact weights of women. If I wanted to know those things, I would travel back in time and ask Art Donovan.

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