Welcome to the rankings that are better than you. Welcome to the AEW Power Rankings (only on Fightful).
Here's how it works; I rank anything and everything from the past week of AEW Dynamite, giving what I liked a low number and what I didn't like a higher number. The numbers are fairly arbitrary, but an explanation accompanies each ranking. Because AEW won't use the same talent every week, you won't see the same people, places, or things ranked every week. If you don't see something ranked, feel free to ask me on social media (@jeremylambert88) where it would fall. I will use a random number generator and reply ASAP.
If you missed anything from AEW Dynamite, check out Fightful's full report on the show. You can also catch up on where things stand with last week's Power Rankings.
AEW Power Rankings - Week Twelve
1. The Young Bucks
A victory over Proud N Powerful earns them a Tag Team Title shot next week. They remain pretty terrible friends to Cody Rhodes, but they are near the top of the tag team division, which is where everyone expected them to start the year. A true testament to how good they are after losing to The Lucha Bros at AEW All Out, Private Party in the first round of the tag team title tournament, and Santana & Ortiz at AEW Full Gear
2. Big Swole
Making her Dynamite debut, Swole picked up a big victory of Emi Sakura. If you watch Dark, you know about Swole. If you don't watch Dark, she made an immediate impact with this win. Either way, get ready to see Big Swole's name in the top five a lot in the coming years. And if I'm still doing these years from now, something has gone horribly right or horribly wrong.
A t-shirt company would use a t-shirt to advance a storyline.
4. Jungle Boy
He pinned Chris Jericho. If Marko Stunt were wearing a referee shirt, he'd be the AEW World 24/7 Champion.
5. Cross Rhodes
It's going to be a superkick or a cutter in three months with the way everyone is using it.
9. Jon Moxley
A meaningless win, but still a win. I just really like Jon Moxley.
10. Fuck Em Up Chants
And I really like when the crowd chants "Fuck Em Up (Insert Wrestlers Name Who The Crowd Would Like To See Be The Fucker Upper Here)." It's one of my favorite chants in wrestling and more crowds should use it. But maybe not on TNT.
18. The Butcher, Blade, and Bunny
They picked up a victory against a team consisting of Cody Rhodes. So, that's something. We'll see if they are more than MJF's lackeys moving forward.
A decent win against Sammy Guevara, but the size advantage and Guevara being an enhancement talent hurts his overall ranking. It's good to see a dinosaur thrive in the winter. I know nothing about history.
27. Selfish Hangman Page
It was good to see Hangman Page take less than 20 minutes to beat Kip Sabian.
29. Darby Allin Seeking Friendship
Do you think Cody skates? I know Cody has a pool. It's winter. He should drain the pool so Darby can use it as a skatepark. Given Brandi's new direction, I'm sure she would be fine with it.
34. Jake Hager Intimidation Tactics
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Hager trying to intimidate Tony Schiavone like he's a eco-conscious teenage girl— Sean Ross Sapp of Fightful.com (@SeanRossSapp) December 12, 2019
PWG was on TNT. Take that, ROH.
43. Dynamite Diamond Ring
Good to see the ring was returned to MJF and he is making people kiss it. However, that devalues the ring. I would think someone who doesn't want to associate with losers would be more conscious of allowing the lips of losers to touch his ring.
They have a job to do. I respect it. However, I want to hear curse words and whatever MJF said to begin his promo.
51. Sufferin Succotash
AEW is very good at referencing WWE without outright referencing WWE. However, Cody might not be wrong about MJF. Less than an hour after Chris Jericho referenced WWE without referencing WWE, MJF did the same thing. AEW Studios presents Single White Superstar.
55. Chris Jericho
A rough night for Jericho for perhaps the first time in Dynamite history. The Inner Circle had a rough night, he was visually pinned by Jungle Boy, and he gave away a t-shirt.
62. Sitting In The Crowd
Better than standing backstage at an awkward angle, I guess.
67. QT's Hair
It's coming in. In two months, QT's Hair will be in the top ten.
70. Joey Janela's Rope Tying
It's a work, brother. But seriously, Joey needs some time in Boy Scouts.
72. Shawn Spears' Search For A Partner
Who could possibly care? Spears has been treated as a midcard singles talent and he'll be a midcard tag talent. And he's more worried about Tully Blanchard than winning matches. If he really cared about Tully, he wouldn't have gone to the ring without Tully. He only has himself to blame for what happened to Tully.
Don't forget it.
80. Being A Loser
Don't be a loser, join a cult.
89. Brandi Rhodes' Cult
But not this cult. Dark Order. #JoinDarkOrder.
91. Sammy Guevara
Guevara should Join Dark Order because he is definitely a loser. But I've figured it out. Guevara is the Brandon Cutler of The Inner Circle. To see him as anything else is putting expectations on him that you shouldn't have.
94. Dallas Cowboys
The highest ranking they will achieve in any power rankings this season.
100. Jim Ross
Ross sounds over it. Absolutely over it. He was brutal during the Butcher, Blade, and Bunny entrance. The criticisms of him not knowing names are clearly getting to him, to the point where he's referencing it on television. Ross does some good things. I think you can use him for anything involving Jericho, Moxley, and Cody. But everything else, he just sounds lost or doesn't care. He's actively hurting the product with his commentary.
That's the end of this week's Power Rankings.
No, we're sticking around.