Welcome to the LIVE COVERAGE of
MONDAY NIGHT RAW
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Be sure to check out the OVERCOOKED RAW REFRESHER,
to jog your memory of last week
and give you a full preview of what to expect tonight.
All right, let's light this poop-scented candle.
We Start In The Ring with Foley and Steph.
All of the Survivor Series competitors are at the top of the ramp.
Steph reminds us of how she made all of them fight each other last week, but today is going to be different.
Except ha ha, no it's basically the same.
Sheamus & Cesaro vs KO and Roman
Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho and Braun Strowman vs The New Day
Charlotte & Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax & Alicia Fox
WHAT IS EVEN, WHAT THE F*CK IS
And if they don't work together as a team, Steph says she might replace them for Survivor Series.
WHAT IS, I DON'T, WHAT
Oh, by the way, I should note that Mick almost screwed the entire segment by announcing the match that happens next, before they announced the other two matches.
Sheasaro vs KO-man Reigns
Roman starts against Cesaro, and now I want that Roman heel-turn more than ever so that I can see this match at a PPV level because that would be HOT FIE-YAAAAH.
Roman gains control, holds out his hand to make the tag to KO, but KO refuses.
This was very fun.
Reigns gets worked over a bunch, clotheslined to the outside, KO comes over and gets in his face, Cesaro does a MOTHERF*CKING CORKSCREW PLANCHA onto them.
Tell me again why they're wasting Cesaro in this stupid Sheamus storyline?
Owens is in control when we come back from the break, and even hits an AWESOME Tornado DDT on Cesaro for a two count.
Seriously, like eat your heart out Ultimo Dragon.
He refuses to tag Roman in, which is also fun.
Cesaro is able to make the hot tag to Sheamus, who goes to town on KO, even hitting the 10 Beats of the Blah-Blah. Owens able to ole Sheamus through the ring ropes, and makes the tag to Roman.
Roman vs Sheamus for a while.
But then Roman his a Superman Punch on Sheamus, then on Cesaro, then KO tags himself in, breaking up the "OOH-AH" taunt, only to take a Brogue Kick from Sheamus.
And then Roman Reigns hits a Spear on Sheamus.
BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES HE'S THE SON OF ZEUS.
But Owens is the legal man, so Roman drags KO over and drapes him on top of Sheamus.
WINNERS: KO-man Reigns.
Backstage with Y2J, Jericho and Braun.
Jericho preaches unity, and to show he's a good guy, he gives Seth and Braun each a present.
Seth opens it up, it's a scarf. "The scarf ... of Jericho. Try it on, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN."
Seth isn't a scarf guy, he says, but thanks. He then leaves.
Jericho implores Braun to try on his scarf, but Braun, WHO IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE COMPANY BY A DAMN COUNTRY MILE, points to the scarf around Jericho's neck and says "I want that scarf."
Jericho likes his limbs where they are, so he gives Braun his scarf. Braun tears it in half, says "I don't like scarves and I don't like you."
Jericho is most upset by the fact that he's on a team with two guys who don't like scarves.
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