PUNT
- I'm gonna guess between now and Sunday, we get 8 rematches from things we've seen over the last week. We already have two set.
- Drew McIntyre says he was hungrier than Randy Orton.
- Drew talks a little trash but is pretty abbreviated and doesn't really say a whole lot outside of bragging about himself.
- The fake crowd noise is really egregious tonight.
- Randy Orton attacks Drew McIntyre from behind. The two battle into Gorilla position and Orton gouges the eye of the champion.
- Orton punts Drew, and he stumbles around. Adam Pearce and others do their best to break it up.
- Another punt lays out Drew.
- Orton whiffed on both punts. He's not gonna make the team with Pat McAfee on the roster now.
Shayna Baszler defeated Bayley (w/ Sasha Banks) via DQ
N/A
- Nia Jax is backstage and Shayna Baszler shows up. The two call each other ugly. WWE writing is not good.
- Double wristlock work on WWE Raw by Shayna Baszler.
- Shayna Baszler ends up outside the ring and Nia attacks. Shayna fights back, though.
- Nia's offense does not look very good.
- Nia and Shayna take exception to Boss & Hug laughing at them.
- Backstage, Nia Jax says she wants to win the tag team titles. Shayna slaps her and tells her to stay off her back.
KO Show
- Kevin Owens brings out Aleister Black and asks how he's doing.
- Aleister Black asks them to roll the footage, but Kevin Owens says it isn't necessary.
- Owens tries to give him a nice talk, and Aleister Black beats his ass.
- This is a good move for Aleister Black. Aleister Black went undefeated for a year, and his hot streak was never referenced, even when he lost. So hopefully this heel turn and KO program gives him more of what he deserves creatively.
WWE 24/7 Title
Akira Tozawa (w/ Ninjas) defeated R-Truth, Shelton Benjamin (c) and Cedric Alexander to win the title
N/A
- Benjamin catches Akira Tozawa with a nice gutwrench slam, but has to wait on a Cedric dropkick.
- Shelton powerbombs Tozawa into the ninjas, but they catch him.
- Tozawa pins Truth
- Benjamin beats all the ninjas up.
Bask in His Glory
- Randy Orton is out to explain why he kicked Drew McIntyre in the skull.
- Keith Lee comes out and tells Randy Orton to bask in his glory.
- The ambient crowd noise is really noticeable here.
- Keith Lee wants a match, Randy Orton does not.
Montez Ford (w/ Angelo Dawkins) defeated Angel Garza (w/ Andrade & Demi Burnett)
4.75/10
- Angel Garza keeps accidentally implicating Zelina in Montez's poisoning.
- One of the things I look for in a wrestling match is just something different. A new move, a new transition, a new counter. I ALWAYS see that in a Montez Ford match.
- The Street Profits have cups falling in their entrance.
- Count how many "Because I'm ________, and (insert catchphrase here)" promos in any given week.
- I'm so over the Ivar The Ladies Man gimmick. The line isn't funny, the gimmick isn't funny. He comes and takes Demi Burnett away.
- Big 180 Frog Splash wins it.
- This was fine, the finishing move was great, but I loathed the interruption.
Bianca Belair & Riott Squad defeated Zelina & The IIconics
5/10
- Riott Squad and Bianca Belair are backstage. Ruby called the IIconics IICONIC DUMBASSES.
- Everything about Bianca Bleair screams STAR.
- Glam Slam and a moonsault on Billie, KOD on Zelina.
- Okay, Bianca is a star, just ready to be pushed. Let's move on past the Zelina feud.
Arm Wrestling
Apollo Crews defeated Bobby Lashley (w/ The Hurt Business)
- Cedric Alexander beats Ricochet in an arm wrestling match. I'm fully invested in the extended recruiting of Cedric Alexander by MVP. MVP is big time disrespectful to Ricochet, but wants Cedric.
- Mark Henry is mediating this.
- Apollo Crews beats Lashley to the punch and gets a quick win.
- Lashley is MAD.
- Apollo kicks him, tope con hilos Hurt Business and leaves.
THE BOAT.
- Lana is out praising Natalya, but they're there to retire Mickie James.
- Natalya cuts to a nonexistant Mickie James tribute.
- Mickie comes out and beats up both of them in about 20 seconds.
- Damn, Mickie James just got a full Dynamite full of women's TV time!
Raw Underground
Bobby Lashley crushes a jobber
- Bobby Lashley chokes out a jobber and he goes limp.
- DOLPH ZIGGLER steps up.
Raw Underground
Bobby Lashley vs. Dolph Ziggler
- Ziggler is able to take down Lashley.
- Lashley does the same and kicks Ziggler.
- Rear naked choke applied.
- Lashley knocks Ziggler out of the ring. Is that it? Okay
Raw Underground
Bobby Lashley KO's a JOBBER
- Lashley head kicks another jobber and wins.
Raw Underground
Bobby Lashley defeated Cedric Alexander
- Bobby Lashley and Cedric Alexander is joined in progress.
- Cedric is slammed and armbarred and elbow KO'd
- Viking Raiders attack, and a huge fight with Hurt Business breaks out.
- I think Bobby Lashley taps out someone, too. I dunno what the fucking rules are anymore.
Keith Lee vs. Randy Orton
N/A
- A horrible transition of sound from Underground to Orton.
- New crappy music and gear for Keith Lee.
- Orton starts to attack Lee's arm, and the work starts.
- Drew interferes for the DQ.
- Keith Lee just disappears.
- Ah, that's promising. Keith Lee just disappears after a top guy costs him a DQ in his debut match. He would have been better served with Orton just refusing to face him.
- Orton attacks Drew McIntyre backstage and punts him again. Charly Caruso says trainers have determined Drew McIntyre has a career threatening injury.
- Drew is taken off into an ambulance.
- Keith Lee says he doesn't like Drew interfering, but he knows Drew will be okay. Randy Orton won't be okay.
WWE Raw Women's Championship
Lumberjack Match
Asuka (c) defeated Sasha Banks to retain the title
- The ol' LUMBERJACK FACEOFF! GOOD GUYS VS. BAD GUYS!
- Back from a commercial, Asuka does a flying DDT!
- Sasha Banks takes out Riott Squad and eats a knee from Asuka.
- Frog Splash from Sasha.
- Bayley tries to give Sasha a chair, but Shayna takes it.
- Asuka Lock and a submission.
Mysterios vs. Seth Rollins & Buddy Murphy
5.5/10
- Rey cuts a promo about how proud he is of Dominik backstage. This is very good and emotional.
- The Mysterios take control and Dominik does a great dive onto Seth Rollins and Murphy.
- Rey Mysterio is working from the babyface in peril spot to give Dominik the hot tag. That's a pretty big endorsement of Dominik's performance.
- Dominik hits great tornado DDT.
- Retribution interfere and beat up Rey & Dom.
- Retribution recreates the Rey Mysterio lawn dart spot from 1996 NWO. It's just way less good because it's overproduced.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!